Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

AutoModerator t1_iujykan wrote

Attention! [Serious] Tag Notice

Posts that have few relevant answers within the first hour, and posts that are not appropriate for the [Serious] tag will be removed. Consider doing an AMA request instead.

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

AnOkFella t1_iujzd91 wrote

Responses that say "hi" or "hey" and don't contribute to any conversation.

15

ipakookapi t1_iuk0axs wrote

Hogwarts house in bio at 35

Edit: I saw a 'serious' flair was added, and I can assure you, I am.

36

HEXdidnt t1_iuk0qv3 wrote

Back in my late 20s/early 30s, I was on a couple of different dating websites. Can't remember the name of the site this story relates to, but it was the one that allowed you to send free 'icebreakers' - short sets of questions for the other person to answer (or, more likely, ignore) - or a sort of 'nudge', either of which just to get them to take a look at your profile, and then you'd only pay the communication fees if you both wanted to start emailing them via the site's own internal system.

Anyway... I used to get both icebreakers and nudges fairly regularly, though probably less than 1 in 10 got any further than my initial response... Still better odds than when I sent either, but that's another story.

This one woman sent me an icebreaker... Not the most interesting choice of questions, but it was enough to get me looking at her profile. As the site advised, she had plenty of photos...

...And literally every single one of them was of her in a bar or club, evidently having a good time, but also very clearly out-of-her-skull drunk. Other profiles might have had photos of the person out and about during the day - in a park, on holiday in another country, at the beach, larking about with a pet, whatever... SOME sign of a life and/or interests outside of bars and clubs, and getting absolutely hammered. She was physically attractive, but the way she presented herself was one big red flag.

That was one of the very few icebreakers I didn't bother responding to.

16

DukeMilkem t1_iuk0sha wrote

Anything that doesn't encourage the flow of conversation.

"haha" "hi"

Etc.

4

ramtax666 t1_iuk150m wrote

Replying to AnOkFella (#408,557)

"so tell me about yourself, what do you like to do for fun. I'm into hiking and nature but I also enjoy a nice evening whacking a movie"

"I like many things"

"Something in particular"

"Yes"

5

rayrayrayray t1_iuk16bh wrote

matches that ask if I am a "free -thinker" , a "sheep", or any other reference to me being unvaccinated against Covid.

Sorry, I believe in vaccines. swipe left

29

Amonette2012 t1_iuk16mh wrote

People who use pet names right away. I hate the attempt to imply intimacy when none yet exists. I'm not your baby or sweetheart or honey, I'm a complete stranger. Pet names are for people who have formed a bond, I have no bond with someone I just met on a dating site. Also it implies that they can't really be arsed to learn your name.

14

thegreger t1_iuk23zz wrote

Replying to DukeMilkem (#409,194)

People (I only see women, no idea if it's as prevalent amongst men) who write "Only match with me if you can carry an entertaining conversation" in their bio, then just reply "haha" or ":)" to every message.

People. If every conversation dies out as soon as the other person writes something that isn't formulated as a question, you're the boring one.

I will usually write one or even two questions to get the conversation started. If you at that point haven't asked me anything back, I'll just assume that you have less personality than my refrigerator, and move on to someone else.

19

We1tfunk t1_iuk24d9 wrote

People who overuse Myers-Briggs. I've had a few. Generally turns me off because it feels like you're trying to adapt to some stereotype, or cast others in stereotypes. Like you can predict who I am just based on what personality type I get. Never really cared for that.

People are way deeper than some 4 letter designation.

Also being poly-friendly has earned me a good number of "fuck you, you cheating bastard" responses. I mean, poly stuff might not be everyone's jam, but it works for me AND I've been with my current SO for 10 years and we've been poly the whole way, so I mean...don't yuck another person's yum, maybe?

2

xlkey t1_iuk2ce5 wrote

"Hi, my kid loves the dog in your pics!"

7

David2022Wallace t1_iuk2f5p wrote

The short one word responses from the people.who won't initiate conversation themselves, but according the their profile they are a good communicator.

8

marvelanne5289 t1_iuk2hzr wrote

"Nice pajamas, wanna fuck?" (Nothing in any of my pictures remotely resembled pajamas, and I did NOT want to fuck or continue the conversation.)

8

ChibiSailorMercury t1_iuk2iax wrote

Guys who wrote to me only to let me know that something on my profile doesn't agree with their preferences and aggressively try to make me say that it won't be an issue when (not if) we meet on a date.

"[dating website] is not for relationship, it's for hooking up. It is very dumb of you to say that you're here for a long term relationship. I don't want that. So if we meet up, you'll put out right?"

"Your profile says you want to own a cat some day but I'm allergic, so you'll have to compromise on that" (like I haven't met you yet, why should I already be making compromises when I could just meet someone who does not have allergies?)

"I hope you have a good reason to not want to date smokers because I smoke socially"

and so on.

Why is it so hard to (1) take a profile at face value and (2) ignore profiles that don't match your wants and not-wants? Why be so aggressive about me not fitting the mold of the partner you're seeking?

31

ipakookapi t1_iuk2ubd wrote

Replying to We1tfunk (#409,856)

Myers Briggs is garbage and about as useful as horoscopes.

And sorry about the rude assholes you have had to deal with. Also poly. The answer to 'I just have to ask' is 'No, you don' t'.

3

TiredLumberJack88 t1_iuk2ye8 wrote

"I have been to 50 countries and lived in 18. Can you do better?"

Traveling isn't a personality and all you are telling me is that you have problems establishing yourself.

21

DanFuckingSchneider t1_iuk3bis wrote

Anyone who replies right away with their snap or instagram. It comes off as vapid and desperate for attention and high follower counts.

11

slightlyridiculousme t1_iuk3s9m wrote

Any mention of ACAB. Honestly I don't care what your stance is on cops, but why does it need to be in your profile? It's often listened with a trail of other social justice acronyms. If you need to tell me in your dating profile that BLM something tells me that you Mr. 30 something white dude don't actually live your life as though black lives do indeed matter. I don't know why it feels so disingenuine, but it does, and it's a total turn off.

Also listing any sort of personality test results, like Meyers Briggs. This isn't a job interview and something tells me you are going to treat it like it is if you include too much information like that.

6

scmetxmes t1_iuk3vh4 wrote

Cringy pick up lines, I don’t even know how you’re meant to respond to that

2

bjanas t1_iuk4fex wrote

I don't know if y'all are familiar with "Feeld", but it's a trip. Very sex positive, let's say. People can be direct. I'm a decent looking enough guy,I was pretty surprised at how forward some women would be.

My favorite was, as a cold open, before any "hello" or anything, "I want you to spit in my mouth and call me a slut."

Now I'm not terrifically prudish, and that's not the most shocking thing I've heard on there by far. But there was something about the fact that it was the first damn thing she said, it just felt wild. I basically said "well gosh I'm flattered but I'm gonna pass, happy hunting, miss!"

3

TiredLumberJack88 t1_iuk542c wrote

Replying to ChibiSailorMercury (#410,786)

Most of them I talked too started traveling after college. Fun Fact: Mommy and Daddy paid for most if to make them more "Worldly" all it did was create someone that brags about where they've been without being able to mention one specific thing about any country they've been too.

9

e22ddie46 t1_iuk5hea wrote

I once had a gorgeous woman message me asking if I wanted to lay in the flowers until we died. I was...confused.

10

empressvirgo t1_iuk5oln wrote

“Hey beautiful” may work for some girls but it makes me cringe and doesn’t further the conversation. Ditto for pickup lines, anything sexual or anything too presumptuous even jokingly like “I hope our kids get your red hair”. It’s a first impression, so I’d air on the side of inoffensive and even dull. Something you think is a compliment or joke with even the best of intentions might get you dinged because the person on the other end doesn’t get it or see it that way

8

BigJohn197515 t1_iuk6132 wrote

I get massively turned off when guys DM me talking to me like I’m a female. Like they are some all-that Alpha Male and I’m some subservient sex object. It’s disgusting. I totally see why females hate it. Men are like the last rung on my list of preferred sex partners so for them to come on so strong just turns me right off.

−5

Mikeavelli t1_iuk7wjn wrote

Replying to ipakookapi (#408,981)

Every few years at work they have us take one of those personality surveys that sorts you into one of four categories of worker. Every time my contribution is to point out what Harry Potter house we've all been sorted into.

6

ipakookapi t1_iuk8fp6 wrote

Replying to Mikeavelli (#413,173)

Corprate personality 'physchology' is a load of shit.

They use it to try to shape up an office without paying for walls so people can actually concenterate on the work.

If your boss demands you work in the office when you are more productive at home, it means you doing work at the office you're not paid for.

3

ChibiSailorMercury t1_iuk8ni4 wrote

Replying to BigJohn197515 (#411,983)

why do you call men "guys" and "men", but call women "female" or "females"?

Only using "female" for "women" makes sense if you also refer to human men as males (like in a medical, scientific or military context), but does not in context where "female" is not used that way and makes even less sense when you use humanifying words for men and dehumanizing words for women in the same three lines.

Maybe call women women. It's a few characters fewer than female/females.

4

BigJohn197515 t1_iukbadh wrote

Replying to ChibiSailorMercury (#413,659)

Why are you triggered? Oh. Cuz you read way into what I said and applied some very obvious personal biases to it and then got all butthurt by how YOU interpreted it. Maybe scroll past next time so you don’t traumatize yourself off something so fucking stupid.

−9