Punishments are counter productive. By punishing, you are just asserting dominance and control, and there will be a disconnect between you and your child. Punishments cause fear and contempt. It’s better to explain to the child how you feel when they say hurtful things and try to understand what caused the reaction. If you take a moment to calm down and open your mind you might see the childs point of view and learn. Do you want a child that learns to obey and stay calm at all times?