My fellow Canadians, I need help finding the perfect pillow. I am a side sleeper, sleeping on medium firm mattress

Submitted by wkosloski t3_z14yju in BuyItForLife

Just got sucked into buying 200 dollar pillows that I can’t return (cuddle down), and I’m pretty pissed about it. The woman convinced me this pillow was great for side sleepers only to find out clearly they are good for back sleepers and my neck pain is so bad I have to go into the chiropractor.

My husband and I stayed at a friends that had the best pillows, down as well, but she bought them in a small boutique ten years ago and the store is no longer around. The pillow has an almost 3d effect with its stitching and is quite firm but at the same time super soft but my head doesn’t sink into it like the shitty cuddle down ones I bought.

I’m open to something else not down, but would love to find something similar to what I’m describing. I’m willing to spend whatever it takes to find the perfect pillow! Please help meeeeeee. Thanks to everyone in advance!!

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suckmydicktonight t1_ix909jb wrote

Do me a favor and please skip the chiropractor. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

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Avatar_Goku t1_ix9293x wrote

For real OP, take up yoga, get a massage, try physical therapy, buy a new mattress. STOP seeing a chiropractor.

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wkosloski OP t1_ix94f75 wrote

Haha thank you, I actually have never gone to one but someone convinced me to try but now I’m thinking I should cancel my appointment. I workout a lot and do lots of yoga and stretching so I will try to just stick with that. I was in tears this morning from my sleep being so bad I was willing to try anything haha but thank you

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Matzie138 t1_ix988n5 wrote

Try finding a massage therapist who is certified myofascial release. I had terrible pain along my spine between my shoulder blades. Tried physical therapy etc nothing was helping. I couldn’t turn my head or raise my arm up when it was bad.

Randomly found a Groupon for a massage place and went…oh my gosh. It was incredible the difference it made. I still go every six to eight months now and don’t have that problem any longer.

If you can’t find that speciality, sports med massage could work too.

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wkosloski OP t1_ix9d2w4 wrote

Thank you for the suggestion, I’m looking for one in my area right now because I need some relief asap

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Matzie138 t1_ixd8lwu wrote

I so hope it works for you. I didn’t imagine it would help like it did, just figured that at least the regular aches and pains would feel better!

For what it is worth, i had a coworker who had multiple back surgeries trying to fix her discs. Was only in her early 30s. Went to a different doctor and turned out she had arthritis in her back. They killed the nerve there and she’s been so much better. I had no idea that could happen (silly me I guess). She is happy but also frustrated to have suffered for years when her new doctor identified the issue immediately. Massage wouldn’t help something like that, but depending on the root cause, can be amazing.

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DryBop t1_ixd2kca wrote

If you do seek out a chiro, try one that does active release - it's a myofascial technique. My chiro doesn't even crack me anymore, just manual release and personal training - however OP is right to warn you, there's a lot of whackos there. I just happen to be an RMT so I know the industry well enough

​

I also suggest an RMT over a chiro entirely, but I don't want to be too biased ;)

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suckmydicktonight t1_ix964bj wrote

Do you by any chance do cross fit?

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wkosloski OP t1_ix9dbcu wrote

No I do not, I lift weights and do light cardio and some yoga here and there.

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mvsuit t1_ixbvgdh wrote

I know this sounds simple but as a chronic pain sufferer for decades, I suggest trying pillows plus a normal towel rolled up lengthwise and wrapped around your neck for support.

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Sharchir t1_ix97324 wrote

It took a chiropractor to fix my chronic neck pain

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wkosloski OP t1_ix9edhy wrote

Seems to work for some people! But have also heard horror stories lol but glad it worked for you!

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Mieniec t1_ixdhtsi wrote

I have a question. Why? My girlfriend has a frequent one in our hometown, she even took me once while we visited, dude really helped me. I've tried physiotherapists, but compared to the other guy they barely tickled me without helping at all. It's a genuine question, i have no idea what it's all about and would like to hear your point on why should i avoid them.

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suckmydicktonight t1_ixdib5h wrote

Would you like to have a vertebral artery clot or tear which can lead to strokes in the back of your brain which can cause you to be paralyzed forever? Because chiropractic manipulation of the neck leads to just that.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

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kspillan t1_ixe5uxh wrote

I self crack my neck a lot. Should I be trying to stop? It’s a really imbedded habit too, I feel really stiff if I don’t release it once or twice throughout the day.

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violentsock t1_ixwmmlu wrote

Do you mean for America or in general? In Canada, it is a regulated profession requiring several years of post-secondary education and a license to practice

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lauchs t1_ix98ypz wrote

Oh please BIFL community, make this happen.

  • Sincerely, a tired Canadian.
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Lamorra1773 t1_ix9fsgu wrote

I’m a side sleeper and have been using buckwheat pillows for a few years. Takes a little getting used to but the support is awesome and my neck pain is gone.

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Slow_Ad3662 t1_ixaii95 wrote

I've been using the Purple Pillow and I would describe it similarly to how people describe buckwheat. It is made of Purple's uniquely shaped rubbery material. It's pretty thin, but comes with at least one booster. It's pretty firm, but a little softer at the ends. I've been using it for years and it's great, and you don't have to stuff last year's crop into a pillow case!

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ComfyComfy_Pillows t1_ixfx1le wrote

Glad you enjoy your pillow! I'm trying to spread the word about these pillows because they are relatively unknown. They are so unique compared to traditional pillows and more people should try them!

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wkosloski OP t1_ix9kk4e wrote

I’ve seen a few people suggest these on other sites and feel tempted to try! I move around a lot at night so was a little worried about the noise but I’m sure you get used to it hey?

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ComfyComfy_Pillows t1_ixfxipv wrote

These pillows are filled with buckwheat hulls that rustle when shifted around. Once you get the pillow in the shape that feels most comfortable, you won't need to move it and it should be silent. It will take some getting use to but it will provide much more head and neck support than a normal pillow

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Quail-a-lot t1_ix92sae wrote

I am a side sleeper who apparently has a lead head because I flatten my pillows out three times as fast as my husband. I don't know what the hell I do in my sleep, but so far the ones I got from Sleep Country have lasted over three years now and I usually only get a year or two out of most before they start to decline. It was the absolute firmest pillow they had. I can't read the tag anymore to tell you exactly what it is, but it is not down. I find down always migrates on me, so it starts off wonderful, but by the middle of the night my head has managed to hit the mattress. (Spouse really likes the down ones from Costco is mostly a side sleeper so this stuff really varies. On the bright side, although overpriced, you can at least go into Sleep Country and try them.)

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wkosloski OP t1_ix9e5l9 wrote

My husband and I had even gone in to sleep country before we bought those stupid pillows but we didn’t try anything because nothing was down. I should have tried some out. Ugh. Kicking myself for it now. Oh well. I’m going to go back this weekend and try some out then. Do you remember the price range the one you bought were in? Thank you so much for your input!

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Quail-a-lot t1_ix9ghwa wrote

I think it was nearly around that two hundred dollar mark then and I felt crazy buying such expensive pillows but there are not a lot of local options where I live and I was just tired of hunting and I was pretty skeptical of the ones that advertise and have shills everywhere like Casper and Purple, so I knew I did not want those.

Another option is to try places like the Foam Shop or any local versions of that you have. I am restoring a small vintage camper and went in to get upholstery foam and noticed that our local store has pillows and some are fill-you-own style so I could just keep adding more fluff as I flatten future pillows if Sleep Country discontinues mine.

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cosmorocker13 t1_ixbb04y wrote

I love my buckwheat pillows. Very firm for my Elephant Man type melon.

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tillemrj13 t1_ix9kglz wrote

I can't speak to the longevity of the product as I've only had it about a month but the cube pillow has done wonders for my neck

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65Russty t1_ixcuqiq wrote

I agree with @tillermj13. I’ve been sleeping on a cube pillow for a couple of years and I love it. I always slept on the edge of a pillow because I didn’t like how a regular pillow would fluff up in my face. The cube pillow doesn’t do that regardless whether I lay on the middle or edge. And the small size makes it easily packable for when I travel.

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CartographerFew8764 t1_ix9lqpf wrote

I like a firm but thin pillow and have trouble with large poofy pillows, i had a kind of gell pillow for a while but it eventually lost its support. Now i have a buckwheat pillow from dream designs and its my favourite. The pillow is pretty much just a sack for the husks with one side having some extra padding. It can be as thick or as thin as you like since you can take some out or add as you see fit. Plus the whole thing is washable, you pour the husks into a bowl then put the pillow in the laundry and refill once its done.

I know it wont be for everyone as its not very soft a cushy, but its an option to look into if youd like

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Nouyame t1_ix9rxjc wrote

It's kind of an unusual option, but I splurged on a Layla Kapok pillow this year (was 2-for-1, which helped with the sting of USD+shipping).

I'm fairly tall, long neck (chronic neck/should pain), and moderately broad shoulders. I have grown to really love this pillow as a side-sleeper. They're stuffed (you have to fluff them every so often) with chunks of memory foam and kapok fiber. The feeling is overall firm for large movements, but still feels fairly soft to the touch. And because they're stuffed, you can adjust the fill to suit the rise you need. Everyone's different, but I'd say this is a good option worth trying (especially because it's adjustable).

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xy02 t1_ix9vuua wrote

Try Endy Pillow. I sleep on my side and back, you can adjust how much foam is in it. It's foam inside, but regular pillow on the outside. It's the coolest pillow I've had, well I've never tried those hydro ones but this is much cooler than traditional pillows and memory foam

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actually_good_advice t1_ixtfxj9 wrote

Thought these were way overpriced but they're fantastic, I prefer them to my down pillows and just bought 2 more. I don't love the longer king sized one but my wife does.

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Avatar_Goku t1_ix93oa3 wrote

I love my side sleeper pillow! https://boulder.urbanmattress.com/shop/uncategorized/perfect-loft-side/

The casing is awesome and soft. They come pretty stuffed and you can unzip it and pull out the filling until it feels right for you. The shape kinda resembles a bridge so that it can cup your shoulder while you are on your side.

I think my biggest complaint is that my wife and I can never tell ours apart, so sometimes it is uncomfortable, but I'm pretty sure it's because I have her's and she likes it more filled.

My mom swears by Casper pillows. She got us a set from Costco and they seem nice, but it's the pillow I use between my legs because I like my other one for my head. My mom is overweight and very pillow sensitive, so they probably are worth trying

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wkosloski OP t1_ix9ep8z wrote

Aw dang, they don’t ship to Canada. But looks promising! I’m going to try and look for something similar in Canada. Thank you

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redditelr t1_ixb15oa wrote

Sleep Country has a model available where you can take out stuffing!

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kissmeonthehead t1_ix996vd wrote

A Lundtrav down pillow from Ikea really helped my neck pain, but everyone is different! Could be a more economical thing to try before splurging on something much more expensive.

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wkosloski OP t1_ix9f06u wrote

I’ve seen a lot of suggestions on other sites for the ikea pillow. I may just give it a go if I can’t find something else, thank you!

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Lumbridge_Goblin t1_ix9ujfk wrote

I used to be a side sleeper, I recommend you do what I did and train your body to sleep on the back. Makes life way easier and your shoulders will thank you.

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Dahaaaa t1_ix9vqjk wrote

Hmm may not be what you’re describing, but I just bought a latex pillow, and I love it. Feels bouncy, but very soft. And I think it will hold up for a long time.

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kermityfrog t1_ixap51j wrote

I'm a side sleeper who prefers down pillows, and I get them from Canadiandownandfeather. They are sold at HBC, but you can also order them direct online and they ship to you for free. I got the white goose down pillow (with blue water splash picture) and it lasts about 3 years before needing a refill. There used to be a store in Toronto that reconditions and refills down pillows, but now I think you would just have to buy a new one.

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wkosloski OP t1_ixba34b wrote

I was looking on their site before I bought the crap pillows, I have no idea why I didn’t just try it considering it’s risk free for 30 days. And after looking through them again, there’s reviews of people complaining about them getting flat and they say they will re stuff them. I think I’m going to try these out, thank you :)

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butteredbuttbiscuit t1_ixaxa3f wrote

Chiropractor will 1000% make it worse/permanent pain. It may feel better for a very short period but you’ll have to go right back in.

I suggest a massage therapist session instead. They will not damage you. Definitely also do yoga/stretching that focuses on relieving that area.

As for a good pillow… I’ll be reading the comments to see if anyone has a holy grail pillow because I sleep on my side too and can never seem to find the perfect one.

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TrozayMcC t1_ixc3ypw wrote

I really wish I could found out the name of the pillow that I’m using, but there are no tags on it and it was given to me a long time ago… It seems to have a memory effect and I honestly have much difficulty using any other pillow

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Medium_Brood5095 t1_ixd1wn4 wrote

I bought the Canadian Down and Feather perfect pillow (firm model) 3 years ago and it's held up quite well. Currently on sale for $65. For me it's still not enough support, so I fold up a thin fleece blanket or towel and put that under it. Works great. https://www.canadiandownandfeather.com/products/down-perfect-pillow?variant=6457862083&currency=CAD&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&gclid=Cj0KCQiAg_KbBhDLARIsANx7wAxiQrEAs-gwvt-bKEJDbICeMeRss3tncS5ldg1BmsKj67s0dgEcay0aAvB9EALw_wcB

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DryBop t1_ixd3bcw wrote

So, bad news bears. If you're sleeping on a pillow every night, not just a guest bed, you should replace it every year. The amount of pure bacteria build up, oil build up, sheer skin cell shed...

buckwheat and latex pillows can last the longest.

In school, we were told to advise clients to replace pillows every two months - I disagree with this from a purely waste standpoint. But please don't try and buy a pillow for life!

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leetho0528 t1_ixg3c47 wrote

I bought the purple pillow "the flat one" about 3-4 years ago and I love it. I am a stomach and side sleeper. The pillow got rid of my neck problems

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selenamcg t1_ixael2w wrote

I don't know if they ship to Canada, but the "bear pillow" is fantastic. It's a firm pillow but slightly squishy so it feels soft under your head. It's like 100 us dollars. I've had mine for a couple of years now and it has held up nicely.

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Famous_Bit_5119 t1_ixakio9 wrote

I purchased a Leesa pillow. Very happy with it.

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Fuzzy-Support-2361 t1_ixfu372 wrote

The down side sleeper from Parachute. I've tried many, many pillows in all price ranges. This one changed my sleep. I've had it for 2 years and the only maintenance it needs is fluffing in the dryer once or twice a week.

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wkosloski OP t1_ixg42f3 wrote

This looks exactly what I am looking for! Thank you so much

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ninjarita t1_ixg3l25 wrote

Buckwheat hull pillow.

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sweetassassin t1_ixk3f45 wrote

Shredded latex pillow seems to fulfill my needs as a side sleeper. I’ve only transitioned to shredded latex the past 2 months but I don’t see myself going back to poly fill and def no memory foam.

I would google shredded latex pillow and go with the one that you can afford. My budget was $50, otherwise I may have gotten the Ferrari versions of shredded latex pillows.

I like that I can shape it to the level of support I need and it holds that shape well into the night and morning. They sleep cool and don’t hold heat (looking at you devil memory foam), which was a must for me as I enter peri-menopause.

Try a few brands out with guarantees, esp if you’re restricted with budget.

Edit: here’s a good article with reviews

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/best-pillows/best-latex-pillow

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DrywallHoss t1_iy6ajcq wrote

Purple pillows. They don’t deform I use two and I have had no problems. I find that one is a little too low.

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shibomi t1_iy7in73 wrote

My favourite pillow has polyester fibres for filler. Which is soft and firm much like your requirements. Even when your head is resting on it it still feels soft and springy.

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maui_is_calling t1_iyec3nw wrote

Not too sure if it's too late or not, but as a fellow Canadian, I too have had issues
with pillows not standing up.  I was getting a lot of headaches and my neck/back was always killing me.  Sitting at a desk hunched over all day doesn’t help.  At one point I even bought a “MyPillow”.  Useless. 
I started reading some pillow comments on Amazon and came across this:
https://www.amazon.ca/Memory-Foam-Pillow-Oreiller-King-Queen/dp/B07PYRL8QM/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=EnerPlex&qid=1669835725&qu=eyJxc2MiOiIzLjYxIiwicXNhIjoiMi40OSIsInFzcCI6IjEuOTAifQ%3D%3D&rnid=5264023011&s=kitchen&sr=1-1&th=1

What I like is that you can adjust the firmness. My wife and I each got one. She kept hers full, I ended up taking out some of the stuffing. The first couple of days the smell of the pillows was a little much, but still fine. After about 3 days, WHAM. They were amazing. We got these in July so more than 4 months ago. Headaches are waaaay down. Sleeping comfort is waaaay up. We're giving some to our kids for Christmas. Not cheap, but not pricey, considering you'd pay anything for a great sleep.
Anyhow, my 2 cents worth.

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GShockNoob t1_ix9y2hx wrote

I'm not Canadian, but I'll still help you out - if I can.

I'm a side sleeper. Have found that on occasions I will be on my back when I wake up. Like you, i had neck pains like crazy for a good period, a year ago. Was waking up with headaches. Feeling tired all the time. Tried firm side sleeper pillows from Walmart. Conforming foam pillows/memory foam pillows from different manufacturers online. Haven't tried buckwheat hull. Never could get comfortable with those foam pillows. Had chronic pain and would hate that I would have to take ibuprofen to help relieve some of it.

Then someone from my job suggested - My Pillows.

https://www.mypillow.com/mypillows/mypillows-offer

I was skeptical because I had gotten so many pillows already. But, as the pain has gone away and I sleep better because of. It sure has made me a believer. And I haven't had any problems since I got the My Pillows. So, that's my take on it.

If you do decide to check it out, they offer a discount code just got find one. Also check it their sizing chart to get the appropriate size and fill. And I've seen it on Amazon. Let us know how your journey goes.

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Beansilluminate t1_ixaf3nr wrote

Certainly a controversial pick…

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butteredbuttbiscuit t1_ixb7izo wrote

I found a MyPillow in the mix with our bedding after we lived at my in-laws briefly waiting to close on our house. I tried it just see if it was as bad as the founder of the company. In my opinion, it was terrible. It was wayyyy overstuffed and whatever is in those is super chunky/lumpy. It didn’t stay put during sleep. Granted I only tried it for a couple of days before tossing it but I satisfied any curiosity I had about it. 0/10 would not recommend Lindell for literally anything

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cmakry t1_ixfx5em wrote

Dammit! I knew it. I scrolled and scrolled just for shits and Ibedamned…here you are. Those pillows and sheets are crap. Stayed at an Airbnb with it. Worst quality EVER. Plus ew

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