taguscove t1_jdci4q6 wrote on March 23, 2023 at 12:41 PM

Something physical, group based, and preferably repeating. Rock climbing, yoga, circuit training, boston sports club (bssc). Extra good if you go with a female friend, though hard i know

CenoteSwimmer t1_jdcxwtx wrote on March 23, 2023 at 2:38 PM

yes Also any intramural coed sports leagues are good

unfeatheredbird t1_jdlgumi wrote on March 25, 2023 at 7:18 AM

I do not want a person trying to pick me up at the gym or yoga. Let me do my thing!

taguscove t1_jdlmj30 wrote on March 25, 2023 at 8:43 AM

You do your thing! welcome to politely decline in this hypothetical. Repeated interaction in a common physical and social space is a great way to build social bonds. Friend networks are fantastic, but you have to start somewhere in the absence of that. What are your suggestions?

unfeatheredbird t1_jdly3cq wrote on March 25, 2023 at 11:25 AM

I can tell you with certainty nearly 100% of my female friends would be bothered and annoyed if a man sidled up to them when they were taking time to do a personal workout. When most women go yoga class or the gym they are doing this generally solo activity for themselves, not to find a date. I'm in my 40s now but I spent a lot of time in the gym in my 20s and 30s and it was exhausting having men bother me when I was trying to workout. I can't count the number of times I've seen women have to take their earbuds out while they are in the middle of an exercise to talk to some guy who decides to invade their space.

That being said there totally are physical activities that welcome social interaction, intramural sports teams, running clubs, pick-up games of whatever. I think people drawn to these activities are looking for friendship, camaraderie, and maybe a date. A much better situation than tapping a woman on the shoulder in the middle of a workout at the gym.

Aside from those types of activities, there are tons of others that offer a meeting space: trivia nights, karaoke, speed dating, concerts, public lectures and discussions on topics of interest, adult education classes (CCAE has some cool ones across lots of topics), any kind of group class whether it be dance or something at a maker space. And then of course the tried and true option of going to a bar. And of course the dating apps galore.

I have been with my husband 23 years and I found his approach of asking me out by saying "I'd like to ask you on a date." to the point and refreshing. Instead of "Let's hang out." Or something else ambiguous.