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unresolved_m t1_jdbaj2s wrote

Maybe bars like Plough & Stars?

But then they're loud places where you have to yell to be heard...

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unresolved_m t1_jdbe8so wrote

Replying to DanteDakota (#2,313,317)

There's book discussions happening from time to time at places like Trident. I went to one of those and had a mixed impression for the same reason. Great idea in theory, but noise/people eating food kills it somewhat....

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absofruitly202 t1_jdbiz5h wrote

Not the perfect suggestion but maybe become a bartender? If things dont work out youre still making money

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GullibleFrisbee t1_jdcee6i wrote

Speed dating? If nothing else, you get to talk to women as practice.

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lapetitepoire t1_jdcf845 wrote

There are often Skip the Small Talk events I see advertised at local bars, if you're looking for a situation where everyone is looking to meet new people.

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taguscove t1_jdci4q6 wrote

Something physical, group based, and preferably repeating. Rock climbing, yoga, circuit training, boston sports club (bssc). Extra good if you go with a female friend, though hard i know

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Jewtino1 t1_jdcsqjl wrote

I work at a bar in Cambridge and we often have meet up groups that come in at 5 and stay for a few hours.

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CenoteSwimmer t1_jdcwd1f wrote

There are often more women than men at volunteer events- cleanups, political campaigns, soup kitchens, NAACP, refugee assistance. There are also more women than men at book groups- the library offers groups, as does Porter Sq books. FindItCambridge.org has events

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slimeyamerican t1_jddpv5x wrote

Talking to girls at bars is honestly not the socially unacceptable thing you’re treating it as being. Bars are where people-particularly single people-go to meet other people. Just talking to someone at a bar doesn’t make you a creep; when you actually start being creepy, not taking a hint, being overly pushy when you haven’t gotten any reciprocation, not noticing social cues that they don’t want to talk to you, etc.; that’s when you become a creep. If a girl goes to a bar and takes any attention whatsoever as being creeped on, that’s on them frankly.

If you follow all the social rules for not “being creepy” ever in any situation, I’m sorry, but you’re probably gonna stay single for a long time. It’s just a sad reality of human behavior that the line between flirting and creeping is very very thin and depends on being very conscious of how the other person is perceiving you.

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cptninc t1_jderu5r wrote

Replying to DanteDakota (#2,313,317)

Anyone at a bar has consented to being talked to simply by dint of being at the bar. If they're offended by someone saying hi, that's entirely on them and maybe they should just stay at home.

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acute_elbows t1_jdi0kqn wrote

There’s always adult kickball. It’s been many years since I did it, but there was a lot of mingling happening.

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taguscove t1_jdlmj30 wrote

Replying to unfeatheredbird (#2,349,649)

You do your thing! welcome to politely decline in this hypothetical. Repeated interaction in a common physical and social space is a great way to build social bonds. Friend networks are fantastic, but you have to start somewhere in the absence of that. What are your suggestions?

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unfeatheredbird t1_jdly3cq wrote

Replying to taguscove (#2,350,113)

I can tell you with certainty nearly 100% of my female friends would be bothered and annoyed if a man sidled up to them when they were taking time to do a personal workout. When most women go yoga class or the gym they are doing this generally solo activity for themselves, not to find a date. I'm in my 40s now but I spent a lot of time in the gym in my 20s and 30s and it was exhausting having men bother me when I was trying to workout. I can't count the number of times I've seen women have to take their earbuds out while they are in the middle of an exercise to talk to some guy who decides to invade their space.

That being said there totally are physical activities that welcome social interaction, intramural sports teams, running clubs, pick-up games of whatever. I think people drawn to these activities are looking for friendship, camaraderie, and maybe a date. A much better situation than tapping a woman on the shoulder in the middle of a workout at the gym.

Aside from those types of activities, there are tons of others that offer a meeting space: trivia nights, karaoke, speed dating, concerts, public lectures and discussions on topics of interest, adult education classes (CCAE has some cool ones across lots of topics), any kind of group class whether it be dance or something at a maker space. And then of course the tried and true option of going to a bar. And of course the dating apps galore.

I have been with my husband 23 years and I found his approach of asking me out by saying "I'd like to ask you on a date." to the point and refreshing. Instead of "Let's hang out." Or something else ambiguous.

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