Greater Danbury or greater Bridgeport seem like the only two options. Make sure your wife only has an hour drive at the most. (10 hours a week) and you get easy access to the train, probably be a 3.5 hour round trip door to door, so only going three times would be 10.5 hours a week, sounds fair.

If you wanted to spend more time travelling but give your wife less, while securing lower housing costs, anywhere in greater new Haven would work.