Submitted by Somekick t3_1244zma in Connecticut
My company just told me I need to be in NYC 3x a week for work while my wife needs to be in West Hartford everyday. Does anyone know what town and route would be best to commute from? My company reimburses parking and trains/public transit if that helps.
They're in a very tough spot, but I'm guessing these are very good jobs. I still think my answer of Milford is the best option. One metro north train down to NYC, and a 60 to 90 minute drive to West Hartford.
There is no job worth this. There are studies about job satisfaction and commute and these are just not worth it. They’re each looking at a 2+ hour commute each way, best case scenario. 4+ hours per day, each. Nope.
2+ hours each way from Milford to West Hartford? Is she walking?
No, 2 hours roundtrip
I mean, I drive about an 1.5 hours from Trumbull near the Merritt to Stamford, and that's one way and only like 25 miles.
and thats also the rush hour corridor. Thats a fairfield county thing
An hour and a half from Trumbull to stamford? That's ridiculous. What time do you leave?
Probably ~7?
I used to leave at 6:30 from Shelton to get to Norwalk and 60 seconds later would change my ~50 minute ride to hell to a longer one.
I do a similar commute and if I'm in the car at 7 I'm in Stamford in 50 minutes. I'd say they are either exaggerating or leaving around 730, which puts you right in the mess of things.
Between 7:10 and 7:15 and nah on average I get in between 8:30 and 8:45.
I have to go past downtown Stamford, so it's not high ridge road or something.
I do Farmington to Trumbull every day, it’s not great
I did west hartford to Trumbull every day. I do not miss those days
It wears you down after a while
My Subaru didn’t like it much either..
Dude it’s bending my Ford over and making it rough
“Built Ford … rough?” I’m sorry
Lmao it’s all good. The car is 11 years old and I’m surprised it’s lasted after all the shit it’s gone through
right
They wrote “each way”, they must’ve meant “each day”
Edit: nope, yeah, they wrote it twice, so yeah, wtf are they talking about lol
> They’re each looking at a 2+ hour commute each way
What? It literally takes 2 hours to get from West Hartford to NYC. This is mathematically impossible. Yes, traffic is a factor, but if OP lives close to a Metro North train station and his wife is driving against traffic the majority of the way, neither of them should be going much more than maybe 80-90min max from a halfway-point home.
You’re also wrong on your timing to nyc. Once you get to grand central you then need to get to the office and even if located in midtown it’s still another chunk of time. In order to have only 90 minute commute to nyc office, you’d need to at least be in Norwalk and then that’s an 80 min drive to West Hartford.
>In order to have only 90 minute commute to nyc office, you’d need to at least be in Norwalk and then that’s an 80 min drive to West Hartford.
Does that not meet the criteria of being "80-90min max for each person"? Proving that it is possible.
Google Maps shows 2 hours flat drive time from WeHa to Manhattan. 2:20-2:40 with traffic. Of course if you are riding the train instead you are adding to your commute time. But even if you settle on a cautious estimate of 3h travel time from WeHa to NYC, splitting the difference still doesn't work out to be 2h per person.
Your original assertion that both parties will have a commute over 2 hours is wrong. If OP moves closer to Hartford in order to reduce his wife's commute, he may be commuting upward of 2 hours, but his wife obviously will not. If OP moves closer to New York (ie FFC) to reduce his own commute, he will clock in at or under 2h door-to-door, and so will his wife. A reverse commute from any part of Fairfield County to WeHa will not take more than 2 hours barring extraordinary circumstances (major accident, snowstorm, etc). The only way they could possibly both have more than 120min one-way is if they moved somewhere completely out of the way.
It does not take 2 hours from WeHa to Hartford. I like in Woodbridge and commute into Midtown once a week. 20 mins to Milford train 1 and 40 min express train to GC and then however long it takes to get to your final destination in the city. From WeHa to west haven station which would be the best option is 50 mins. This would be a 3 commute at minimum.
if the moneys there id commute two hours 🤷♂️
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i didnt expect that thorough a response 💀
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To be clear on this - you're slamming this commenter for not providing a response, then saying that everyone would do x for y until faced with the consequences..and then saying you'd have a terrible commute to NYC for a six figure salary? Unclear how you can be holding those two positions.
bro had to delete that essay he used to reply to my one liner
That would have to be like 200k+ lmao
That wasn't the question. It was how to do the commute. I have been in a similar scenario in my life. I used to hate talking to people about where I lived or worked because of assholes like you. Keep your fucking opinions to yourself.
What? We’re giving input to people here. No wonder you’re a bitter asshole - you’ve been doing this shitty commute your whole life!
Nowhere there did he say is this feasible or should I get a new job or ask for any advice other than what is the best way to accomplish it. So you did not give any "input". OP already know it's difficult.
The commute to West Hartford from Milford will be atrocious. It'll be better to live off of the I-84 West of Waterbury area for them. Milford is not ideal.
The only right answer is ditch the NYC commute.
Edit: Ask questions: For how long? Is this permanent? Why am I needed in NYC 3 days/wk.? How does this benefit the company and me as an employee? If you’re a top performer, this is an opportunity to stand your ground OR ask for more money. If you have to be in NYC 3 days/wk you’ll either need accommodations or you’ll be spending a shit ton on gas/train tickets. Either way going to NYC 3 days a week will cost you more money so IF you’re going to stay, they need to give you more money. Otherwise, 🖕🏻✌🏻.
He literally said he gets reimbursed for the travel in the OP.
Wallingford. It’s 30 minutes to weha and 15-20 from New Haven train station, or you can go a little further down 95 for a shorter train commute
Amtrak runs daily direct trains from Wallingford to nyc.
Wallingford was my first thought as well, and not a half bad town to boot
And it’s got any fast food you could ever want as well as Walmart, Stop&Shop, BJs, Aldis, and a ShopRite.
Also one of the few towns that isn't controlled by eversource IIRC
Yeah it isn’t
Not even UI.
This is true, they have their own town-owned power company. It's dirt cheap and seemingly always online. We never lost power when I lived in Wallingford in 2010-2011 even during those giant snowstorms that took everyone out.
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This is the way.
I agree with the New Haven to NYC connection and easy ride to WeHa. That general area is the sweet spot for this situation. I was thinking Hamden. Good luck, it won't be too bad.
This is the way
What’s a weha?
It’s slang for WEst HArtford weha
Yeah, but why?
Should we head down to NeHa after hitting up WeHa? But not before stopping in WaFo!
It is what it is
WEst HArtford
I just got confused because they didn’t refer to New Haven as NeHa.
A new job, unfortunately. Bad situation to be in, you'll probably lose a year off your life in the next decade waiting in your car
Somewhere along Route 8. Train to NYC from bridgeport. Drive north to west hartford.
As repeated by many posters, this is a terrible commute to balance for the two of you.
I said, basically, the same thing (Litchfield). My dad used to commute to the city by RT 8, etc.
I would look for a place to live in West Hartford/Newington/New Britain/Berlin as housing costs are more affordable there compared to the shoreline, and OP can take Amtrak straight to New York City from either the Hartford or Berlin station and have OP’s employer buy OP Amtrak Ten Way tickets from Hartford to Penn Station while OP’s wife has a more reasonable commute.
This is the true right answer. OP’s company will reimburse the travel and the 6:40am Amtrak from Berlin has no transfer so it’s direct to Penn with far fewer stops than MTA. Sign up for Amtrak rewards and bank a ton of points for awhile on the company’s dime for future personal travel. Parking is $2 and there’s zero fight for parking spots. After a few weeks you can become a pro at napping on the train and the ride is pretty relaxing without the transfer in New Haven. Comfortable seats so throw in earbuds, catch some zzz’s, Set an alarm for 10-15 mins before you hit Penn and you’ll be set. Transferring to subways from there is easy. For your wife - From Berlin, it’s 72 to 84 or 9 to 84 for weha and not a bad drive at all.
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Don’t forget that the train ride is much easier than a drive and doesn’t feel the same. Yes, it’s a longer round trip but the trip is being expensed. If they move farther south, the additional car expenses (gas/maintenance/mileage) will be significantly higher and out of their own pocket.
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Fully agree on it not being ideal 3 days a week and not mentally sustainable long term. Hopefully OP’s company will cut down the in-office days after a few high monthly/quarterly expense reports go through and they rethink the 3 day req
Could also live in Berlin + drive to New Haven and catch express train to grand central (metro north)
This is an alternative, although with the company reimbursing it, you might as well take the faster and more comfortable ride down. Amtrak has 3 stops between NHV and NYP so if you miss the express MTA train, you’re making 11 stops and it’s a 25-30 min longer trip
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats!
3
+ 11
+ 25
+ 30
= 69
^(Click here to have me scan all your future comments.)
^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)
Can you afford to rent a place in the city? Maybe you could stay over a couple nights a week?
This is the only thing that would make sense to split that kind of commute, otherwise I'd suggest one or the other find a new job.
Nights in nyc are $500 each. How many nights are you saying, per week?
Since OP didn’t mention their budget I have no idea what they can afford. I’m assuming they have high income to even be considering the situation described in the post.
I am in the same position as OP, and you have to understand that the “high income” number is the gross number, and hotel bills come out of your net income. If you make $300k per year base, before any bonuses that sounds like a lot; almost $1000 per day in pay. Then comes the tax man and 401k savings, and health insurance. It turns out they all want $400 every day from you.
When the net is $600 out of 1000, and the hotel man wants $500 of that? Not a good plan.
Nobody made you take those jobs though lol. Trust me I live in Boston now. I appreciate that high income doesn’t mean wealthy. But you make a choice on career and location and spouse and house etc.
And that’s why I live on the upper west side now. Paying the rent here is far less than paying for hotels.
Stay in White Plains
You need as in NEED to be east of Route 8 unfortunately. 5 days a week going from Fairfield toward 8 will get old real fast with traffic. It’s not as bad that direction but it still exists. For NYC on at Bridgeport or Fairfield for Metro North via 95. If you’re not in midtown, then you can audible gasp drive into NYC after about 9. Leaving is a fucking bitch though.
My wife and I do this. We moved out of Brooklyn to Milford, easier commute for her but tougher for me to get into the city, train is quite long but it’s doable if it’s not everyday. We bought a house in Fairfield and this has proved to be the most equal in terms of commute misery. Takes my wife about an hour to West Hartford, takes me roughly 90 minutes by train to grand central.
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Do you need to come home every night? Could you do one or two nights in a NYC hotel each week to avoid the daily commute?
500 per night. We tried this.
I worked in the city and did hotels on late nights and it was way under 500. Usually 150-250 for a decent hotel.
We live in Berlin and I regularly do the trip In to NYC, New Haven to GC is pretty good if you can time it right to get the express out on NYC (it says the first stop is Bridgeport but in reality it always also does a pickup at Fairfield). You can get the train from Berlin but it’s a PITA, best to drive to New Haven, if you have an EV you can charge for free and just pay parking. The trains in to NYC are always busy but getting on at New Haven gets you a seat of your choice….the express trains back are maybe 35% full until you get to Fairfield.
Driving to West Hartford is 20mins and dead easy.
Having done this length of commute for many years in England I can say it’s a drag but better the longer trip be done by train.
This is the way
It's true the longer commute whomever has it, should be by train.
Agree. I do the same drive to New Haven and take the express to Stamford (sometimes to NYC). We’ve probably been on the same metro north train many times - what time are you usually riding in the morning?
Sad situation friend
Bethel is a pretty good answer and you don’t always have to switch trains if you get on at the right time. If you can get some work done on the train it’s a decent solution.
Danbury line is slow though, and infrequent. And uncomfortable. Most make the drive to southeast train.
Danbury
Ridgefield? Maybe?
Seymour or Oxford would be decent, and are good places to live
Good luck finding something ..
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Someone needs to quit.
One of you needs to find a new job...
I think people are overreacting a bit here, depends on your life situation too (kids, pets, etc). Metro north into the city is fine three days a week. Depending where in west Hartford you can get off 91 before hitting traffic coming from south of Hartford. Milford is a good option, plenty of other people commute to Stamford/Hartford area from there, it’s obviously not ideal and will get old, but it’s not that bad
Milford.
There's a metro north station right there in downtown. Plenty of restaurants for you and your wife to try as well. If you have kids the school system is good. There's beaches too.
I usually take the train from Bridgeport for 75 to 95 minutes depending on if it's a weekday or the weekend, so my guess is that Milford is 1 hr, 45 minutes. It can't be more than 2 hours, since that's the distance from New Haven.
I googled the drive to West Hartford. It says 57 minutes, but I would say 90 minutes realistically. No more than 2 hours if traffic was awful. I went to college close to West Hartford over in New Britain, and sometimes drop off day had traffic, but it never took us more than 1 hr and 45 minutes from Trumbull.
I will point out OP needs to be in NYC three days while they're wife needs to be in West Hartford five days. So I would make more sense to live closer to West Hartford. Especially since OP can do productive work on the train.
Depending on how much OP is getting paid, it may be worth it just to get a hotel Monday and Tuesday night if he can do three days in a row in NYC. Especially if it’s a high burn job that doesn’t end until 6/7pm.
Eventually see if either wife can move to a job closer to southern CT or NYC metro area. Or push his office days to just one day a week.
You’re suggesting $1000 per week in hotel bills.
OP would be staying two nights a week, on non-weekend nights, and would have flexibility in the type of hotel he can pick. OP can find places for under $250 a night in Manhattan and cheaper if he’s willing to travel to Li city, Brooklyn or Queens.
I have already had to go through this, myself. Sleeping outside of Manhattan negates the up side of not going home and sleeping in the city. Also a business man does not have a wide breadth of choices for overnight stays. He’s not a 20-something who’s willing to share a toilet with multiple guests. I literally was paying $500 a night, 8 months ago, for a good hotel near to my building.
No corporate hotel chain (Marriot, Hilton, Hyatt) has you sharing a toilet with others. All of these hotels have locations in Manhattan either midtown or FiDi that are around $250 for April 3-5th. If OP’s company is quite large, it’s possible they also have a corporate discount to use. There are at least 20+ choices between the big three chains and other places like Yotel or The New Yorker.
If you’re paying $500 a night, you’re paying for luxury. Maybe OP can afford luxury with his NYC salary but he only needs about $500 weekly.
Yeah - plus Hartford traffic is notoriously terrible. I’d advise against more than a 45m daily commute to Hartford given the likelihood of accidents and serious traffic jams that can add a ton of time to the commute. Not to mention when there’s the slightest bit of snow falling!
The NYC commute is certainly no cake walk, but Metro North is pretty reliable and consistent, and time on the train can be used to catch up on work or just relax. That’ll help OP because unfortunately, on their travel days, they wouldn’t have much other free time no matter how you slice it - though it would be somewhat balanced out with 2 wfh days.
I say this assuming both jobs are roughly equivalent in terms of either merit, salary, growth potential in the respective field, etc.
What town would you recommend? Milford like me? Danbury like someone else said? Somewhere else?
Probably somewhere between New Haven and Hartford. It's two hours from New Haven to NYC. Less than an hour to West Hartford anywhere in between. Really depends on what the budget is.
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3 days a week isn't so bad if you can avoid rush hours....so like noon to 7 hours in NYC. If your boss permits this it'll save you hours of driving each day.
Absolutely no reason to drive into the city especially if their company will reimburse transit
I prefer being in my own car personally to public transit. Plus if his job isn't near grand central, he'd need to take a cab or subway after metro north. Driving into NYC isn't that bad if you time it to avoid rush hour.
You realize that the rush hour part is the problem right
Not if he can start and end work a few hours later, like I said previously.
Greater Danbury or greater Bridgeport seem like the only two options. Make sure your wife only has an hour drive at the most. (10 hours a week) and you get easy access to the train, probably be a 3.5 hour round trip door to door, so only going three times would be 10.5 hours a week, sounds fair.
If you wanted to spend more time travelling but give your wife less, while securing lower housing costs, anywhere in greater new Haven would work.
I agree, either the Danbury/Bethel/Brookfield/Newtown area or the Fairfield/Stratford/Milford area would be the best options.
User name checks out
Take the direct train in for now, look for a new job
I mean, you can weigh out personal preference of public transit or driving but either way, it's going to take a toll on you. Even if the money is good and you LOVE the job, it's going to take a toll. I just left a job that was good money that I loved because the 50 min each way commute was harder than the acutely mentally unstable patients I served all day. Literally. I wish you luck!
New Hartford is arguably one of the best towns in CT that's worth living in, plus it splits the commute in your wife's favor. Happy wife, Happy life. Nature lovers dream with all conveniences within a short drive. Ski Sundown Best fly fishing Mountain bike trails for life Hiking trails everywhere
Oh, ya, plus 30 mins to West Hartford 10 mins to Rte 8, which depends on the time of day you can be in NYC in 2 hours, but you'll love in a town worth the commute. You're only going 3 days a week. A bunch of my friends do the commute weekly, too. I also have a friend who does the 2 hour commute to Boston from the same town. Think of it as a ride with the opportunity to listen to podcasts. Or if you grab the train along the way, you can do work or watch a movie.
I grew up in Litchfield, in northwest CT - it's close to RT 8 for an easy commute to the city and not far from W. Hartford. Check it out
New Haven. You can take the express train which is 100ish minutes to the city and back. Driving from New Haven to West Hartford is 45 minutes.
Yup, this. My spouse takes the train from New Haven to NYC three times a week, and 45 minutes to the Hartford area isn’t bad at all on the other side.
Danbury is an hour from West Hartford on I-84 and has a Metro North train station.
I'd suggest Newtown. Drive to Brewster, NY for the NYC commute, and 84 to West Hartford. Far from ideal, but Newtown would be a nice place to settle.
Newtown to the Southeast train is 30-45 minutes of driving depending on traffic and then another 90 minutes of train time, and then probably cab or subway unless the office is close to GCT. I would not suggest this.
I wouldn't suggest what op is trying to do. All of the solutions suck, OP just needs to find the one that sucks least for them. For me, a semi rural location would be a nice feature, and Newtown has a lot of that with good access to 84.
It does, but you have to switch off at the South Norwalk station for a second train. Out of Milford you only need one train. Danbury schools are ok, but the Milford ones are better, if this person has kids.
Bethel. A town closer to WH. On Danbury line. Better schools.
I'm still concerned about the train thing. They OP would still have to ride down to South Norwalk and switch to a different train.
I’ve taken the train out of Bethel and switched in SoNo or in Stamford on occasion. It’s like three minutes standing on the platform.
I'm spoiled taking it out of Bridgeport (I live in Shelton). Just one train down.
From the Danbury area you can also jump across to the Harlem Line in New York. I’m pretty sure you can take it right into Grand Central without any transfers
Yeah it would make more sense to use Brewster or Southeast Station.
there are direct trains during peak. Still goes through SoNo, but no transfer.
Maybe Fairfield? I live on the Fairfield/Black Rock boarder and was working in NYC until recently. It’s about an hour drive to West Hartford and the train from Fairfield Metro is about 80 minutes to Grand Central. Not saying it’s great but it is definitely a manageable middle ground, in my opinion.
Relatedly, the Fairfield Metro (not ffld downtown) station is great for commuters. Enormous parking lot and it’s easy and quick to navigate/walk into the station from the lot… that may sound granular but in the mornings sometimes these little things make a difference! It’s much much easier than leaving from more crowded stations with packed parking like New Haven, and parking fees are low. If you don’t move to a town with a station right in town, this is still an easy station to park at and commute out of. It’s ~1h20m to GCT, no transfers.
If this person wants a richer town than Milford, as I recommended, than I would say go with Trumbull. Fairfield to West Hartford would be traffic heavy, since they have to get past Bridgeport first. The drive from Trumbull to the Bridgeport train station is really quick, and there's a parking garage (OP's post said company covers parking and the train). The drive from Trumbull to West Hartford is a little better too, and I'm kind of biased because I grew up in Trumbull, but I think it's better than Fairfield for a fraction of the price.
I’ve never used it, and it might just be shit, but Waterbury and southward have a metro north line. Maybe look along rt 8? Closer to west Hartford. I guess it really depends how long the train ride is and how frequently the trains run.
Sometimes it even runs!
The metro north Waterbury to Bridgeport is often a bus route when the tracks are having issues or the small train is having issues. They are renovating or have renovated? the parking there but I don't recall as it's been a while though it's still not the best place to leave your car frequently. You're better off getting on the Hartford line in Walliingford or Berlin and getting an express from New Haven to Grand Central or Penn.
This seems like better advice as it seems to come with some first hand knowledge. All I know is that the Waterbury line exists on maps. I also tried to word my post ambiguously enough to not recommenced Waterbury itself either. I wouldn't suggest anyone live in Waterbury. But somewhere near 84 and route 8 could be good.
It depends on what time you commute. There is super express train from New Haven that is ideal. So I'd you hut that it's not terrible. Ao you could live north of New Haven maybe
First place that popped into my mind was Danbury/adjacent towns (Bethel, Brookfield, possibly some parts of New Fairfield or Southeast, NY) . Long but easy train ride into the city from Southeast (90min + however long it takes to drive to the station), and roughly 1h drive to West Hartford, against traffic the vast majority go the way.
Danbury area? Straight down 84. Train into NYC
If you are only going in 3 days and the wife five, I’d say look for place in Cheshire Wallingford area. Your commute will be longer but the wife’s more manageable.
Naugy, Beacon Falls maybe Seymour. If you want a quieter town i grew in Prospect and its only like 10 mins from the station. but then She can shoot up rt8 to 84 and be work in like 35mins and you can park at the stations in those towns and go to NYC
I have a similar commute, and I find the trumbull/orange area isn't bad either way. I hike up rt 8 to 84 and hubby leaves from the Bridgeport station. We used to be in Norwalk, but it was a just no commute.
If you like driving and he is OK with the trains you will be OK.
I’ve done both commutes from Seymour. You’ll make a short drive to Bridgeport to catch metro north. Bridgeport is great because they have a few express trains that only stop in Stamford. Train ride will be about an hour and twenty. I hope your job is near grand central because if not, it will become unmanageable. The drive from Seymour to west Hartford should be about 45-50 minutes. I agree with others that said you’ll want to be in a town along route 8.
Hi! Ct realtor here. Odd circumstance - I previously lived in West Hartford (Elmwood section) and my wife commuted to Darien/New Canaan. Let me tell you now - there are no easy solutions.
We ultimately moved to Milford - very, very happy here. Along the train line for commuting toward NYC, and still accessible to West Hartford, albeit, not necessarily easy. It's either the Wilbur Cross to 691 or straight up 91 to hit 84.
Let me know if you need help finding a place. Trumbull is nice, albeit a little more expensive. Depends on your finances, really.
Milford has had multiple years of decreasing mill rates and has been dubbed "the next Westport," for what that's worth...
I've done this and this is terrible but manageable. New Haven or around that area. The drive up to West Hartford isn't too bad of a commute with some traffic and you'll take the train otherwise you can have fun driving both ways which will be a nightmare.
Have you looked at Cheshire?
Fairfield is 1.5 hours from NYC and 1 from West Hartford. I have the pleasure of going to law school in west Hartford but needing to be in NYC frequently lol
Had this exact situation - We did Fairfield. Happy with the decision
Clearly it’s Waterbury. The Brass City. Cheap real estate. 35 minutes to West Hartford. Nice hourly train directly to NYC if no one shoots up the train.
Hourly service on the Waterbury branch? You’re the one shooting up if you believe that.
Shoots up the train?
It's Waterbury.
Ask if your company also pays for hotel 2 nights a week. Otherwise looking for another job. The money won’t be worth it unless it pays 160k+.
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Fairfield is probably only viable one. She drives to her metro north. But ya it’s gonna be brutal after a year or two. Start looking for options to switch.
As someone who used to commute from central CT to NYC I'd say find a spot to take transit from. It's so much better when you can nap, read, or otherwise relax. I'd also suggest finding a new job because there is no quality of life - wake up, commute, work, commute, sleep.
Honestly? my recommendation is to min/max it. Live in West Hartford, or NYC, give one of you basically zero commute, and the other the full pull. My recommendation is to live in west hartford. Having no commute is amazing life opening experience. If you split the difference you will have two miserable people. Living in west hartford you'll have one miserable person
There’s no easy solution. Someone’s commute will be miserable, no matter what. If you split the difference, both you and your wife would struggle. If your NYC office days are consecutive, consider renting a hotel room for two nights to stay in the city close to your office because the grind of the commute from central CT is going to be unbearable after a few initial weeks. You can also look for another job.
Cheshire
Cheshire- Merritt to Milford take metro north to NYC
I'd say Meriden area. You can get to New Haven in 20 mins to take the train and she'd be able to drive 20 mins to WeHa.
One question that hasn't been raised is: for your three office days in NYC each week, what hours do you have to keep?
Several years ago, I spent one day a week in an office near Wall Street & Water Street. I live near Bradley, and I took Amtrak from the Windsor Locks station....but I only needed to be in the office from "around 10" until "around 4". Those were really long days, however....and not something I would have wanted to do more than once a week.
My suggestions:
I would choose just east of the Danbury area since it is closer to NYC and lots of train access there, NOT the New Haven area. Take 84 right to West Hartford. No matter what it will be quite a commute for both of you, not anything I would want to do several times a week.
Southington. Drive is easy to West Hartford. Then you can go into Waterbury to get on train right into NYC.
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I’d say anything down the i91 corridor south of Cromwell. You can take express train into city from New Haven. She can avoid Hartford traffic by going up Route 9. Depends on how long you’re willing to drive to New Haven.
Middlebury would be a decent choice. I used to make the drive to Hartford from there daily and it's not terrible. You can catch a train in Naugatuck to Bpt and then direct to NYC.
If you're in West Hartford it's best to take I-84 West into I-684 into White Plains, NY, and shoot down I-87, or I-287. It'll be around 2-3 hours each way.
Or take I-84 to Route 7 South, and catch I-95 in Norwalk, and then straight into NY, or catch the Train in Stamford, or Norwalk.
The best town to live in is Redding, Ridgefield, or New Milford, worst case Southbury.
Meriden to West Hartford is about 20 minutes but the train to NYC is 2 hours. Anything north of New Haven is good for WHTFD but sucks for NY. South is the opposite. I use to live in Orange CA and work in LA. It was horrible. 5 hours round trip and it was only about 40 miles away. Just turned down 2 jobs in NY paying in the 250k range. I'm too old for that headache. Good luck, it's a tough decision.
Where in NYC? If not extremely near Grand Central you’ll need to factor in that additional commute time as well. I think Milford is a good bet of being both on a direct metro north line to GCT (no transfers) and potentially less than an hour commute each way to West Hartford. I agree with others though this is pretty brutal even as a best case scenario.
Milford would be the best of the worst options. Hopefully you don’t have to commute every day.
I’d go with maybe somewhere in the middle like Cheshire?
The best route to commute is finding another job. That's absolutely asinine of them to request that of you.
Southbury
There are a variety of options. Living in north haven/Wallingford area would put you close to getting in metro north in New Haven. You could also do Naugatuck or beacon falls area and get on metro north to connect in Bridgeport. I’d consider other factors as far as what you’re looking for in a town as well. If you need a realtor lmk!
Divorce and get two places
I would suggest Middletown area. Not a bad drive to New Haven or WeHa from there. Then jump on the express train from New Haven.
Depending on times you have to go, you could even go up to the Berlin area and jump on a train from the Berlin station to New Haven then get on an express train. Your commute will be longer, but you’ll be able to do work on the train. Also, your wife will have a shorter commute and happy wife, happy life.
I love Middletown. Routes 9 and 91 are your friends. Somebody did say you could get Amtrak nonstop out of Berlin or Wallingford. AND it’s FAR better than any commute that involves I-84 during rush hour. But I suspect that Berlin, Wallingford or West Hartford itself would be best. I-84 will just lead to Murder or a divorce - especially if she has to drive from anywhere west of Waterbury! 🤣
Great advice in here but it’s worth echoing the fact that this scenario sucks. I work 4 10-hour days in my pajamas. I recommend it.
New Haven!!
Definite New Haven. Train right into Grand Central (express) and wife can either drive the ~40 minutes to WeHa or take the Hartford line to a bus or cab (if you are interested in mass transit options.)
The CT Rail line runs up and down the center of CT from Springfield MA, to New Haven CT.
New Haven is a rail hub for commuters. Metro North Rail and Amtrak both can get you into NYC every morning from that rail hub. Amtrak even provides direct service to NYC from points on the Ct rail line, so you don’t have to initially commute to New Haven.
Commuter rail works in the northward direction too. If you were to live in Wallingford, one person can take the train to nyc and the other can take the train to Hartford. Then a daily Uber to their office’s front door.
New Haven - CTRail Hartford Line to Hartford from New Haven for your wife, and the MTA New Haven line or Amtrak Acela for you.
It's the best for your situation, but still going to get tiring for a while.
Newington/Berlin
Bethany
Old Saybrook.
84, 95, and 91 are all Mad Max hellscapes, but Rt 9 is actually a really easy drive. 45 minutes between West Hartford and Old Saybrook if she can time it to avoid rush hour in Middletown, 1 hour if she can't. From Old Saybrook you can drive to New Haven in about 35 minutes for a direct train, or take the train from Old Saybrook to New Haven then transfer. If your employer will pay for both legs of the train ticket, that's a big savings. Old Saybrook train station parking area even has pretty good pizza or chinese you can pick up on the way home, or excellent coffee & breakfast for the morning commute.
Given that you have to go only 3x per week, move to west hartford to optimize your wife's daily commute. You can drive to the new haven station and take the train 3x per week.
Then one of you can look for a new job.
Milford/orange
How about Westbrook? You could jump on the train in old saybrook and she would drive 45 minish
West Haven or New Haven. You can take the train from either spot for New York and then a 1h to 1.5h ride to West Hartford.
New Haven: You can take a train from GC to New Haven and another one New Haven to Hartford. Uber to WH.
So I live in West Hartford and have done this many times as I had a job where I needed to be in Brooklyn once a week. Plus I lived in NYC for 5 years so sometimes I would go in to see friends.
I have tried a lot of combinations and it’s always rough. My round trip from weha is 7 hours and weekends when I went in to visit friends it was closer to 5.
I recommend maybe living in a town off of route 8 because usually that’s a faster option than 91 to get down to some of the towns with the best train times.
Honestly, you could also live in New Haven because your wife will be doing a reverse commute to Hartford and it wouldn’t be that bad compared to the other way around . However, the train schedule to New Haven is the worst to New York City. I usually go in and out of Darien because of how frequent the train goes through there.
Send me a picture of your wife, maybe I could take care of her, sounds like you won’t be around much
poboy212 t1_jdy0x94 wrote
There is no right answer. This is an awful situation.