Submitted by Lucky-Front7675 t3_z34u26 in Connecticut
Husband’s job is in NYC and mine is in Boston. We’d have to be in the office 2x a week. Wanna move to a good, family friendly suburban location in CT that would work for both of us via train and/or car with good school district. Thank you!
This
Under-appreciated comment here
Hold up, we don’t know if OP is a masochist. Don’t kink shame.
Or at least look into work from home 100%
That's what I do 😅
The drive to Boston is going to suck.
The last 12 miles can easily take over an hour depending on what time you need to go in.
I used to commute from just outside Providence RI to Boston and some days it would take me 2-3 hours in one direction.
The train is not all that much more convenient if your work isn't within walking distance of back Bay or south station. It can take just as long if not longer than driving if you need to take the train to south station then subways from there.
Great answer. An alternative work schedule like 10AM to 6PM could work, I did it myself for a couple months. But, if you are stuck going in at peak time unfortunately there are very few good options other than planning for a 2-3 hour commute in the morning and almost as bad coming home. The Mass Pike is probably your only way into the city in a car no matter where you live in CT, and it can get rough in the morning. Getting to a MBTA commuter rail station is going to take extra time. Before you believe anyone saying you can take the train from CT, first check the schedule, necessary transfers, and ticket costs that it would actually take to get to your work place.
Two days a week though means you can sleep on the train or work. I've done day business meetings to Boston often without it killing me. Not ideal, but it could be worse!
At the time I looked at it like I was getting paid to sit in traffic since I was making almost double the money by getting a job near Boston.
Those 12+ hour days were rough though. Out of the house by 6-630, home between 630-730.
I did It so we could afford to have my wife raise our kids when they were young instead of sending them to daycare.
thankfully I am completely remote now.
The money sounds good BUT what is your time worth? We don’t get that back
[deleted]
I would think the New Haven area would be ideal for the Acela Express. Boston isn't that much longer as there is less train traffic and the train operates at higher speeds between New Haven and Boston.
This is a solid idea. The Accela into Boston is pretty fast compared with driving. It isn’t cheap, but 2x per week is probably manageable.
I had to refresh my memory. $120 each way, 2 hours. Milford to Grand Central is 2 hours, though obviously cheaper.
$2,000 in Amtrak fare per month isn't an easy decision - for me, it's a business travel expense. It's also an easy choice as there is no need to stay overnight, saving on hotel costs.
There’s monthly/10-ride passes for much much cheaper that OP could get
I didn't know that, if only because my travel to Boston is irregular. Might make it more regular though!
Yeah, and they get cheaper if you buy in advance.
NHV-BOS is $55 cheapest on Acela but it needs to be well in advance for that price.
Milford to GCT is definitely under two hours especially with express service.
Yes indeed, 1:37 from Milford to GCT on my train. And the fares are insanely cheaper than Amtrak.
My thoughts exactly
This is going to suck.
Best option for train transport is going to be somewhere between New Haven and Old Saybrook. Your best school choices will be Madison and Old Saybrook. Guilford and Clinton are good secondary choices, but again, your commutes will suck.
Better to move to Newton or Cambridge in MA while your husband finds find a new job, or move to Westchester while you find a new job.
One of my best friends growing up had two very smart parents. His Mom worked in Providence at Brown and his Dad worked for I think Intel in Boston. They both had 2-3 hour commutes after they got on the train which was hours more. They'd leave before the sun came up. It was a disaster. I remember going to sleepovers when I was 8, 9, 10, yelling at his parents to please stop screaming at each other on his birthday.
If you want to have a healthy family, one of you has got to bite the bullet and take a hit professionally. If that's not important to you, do as you please.
[deleted]
You are both going to have awful commutes if you are midway between the two.
According to Meetways the halfway point between the two is Rocky Hill which provides a 2 hour 5 minute drive to New York and 1 hour 45 minute drive to Boston. If you have to drive during rush hour you can add 60-90 minutes to each of those times.
Depending where in Boston and where in NYC, rush hour could more than double those commute times. This is going to be hell for both of them, the train seems like the most manageable solution (assuming it’s even manageable), and that won’t be cheap.
Rocky hill isn’t the greatest place to live compared to other towns. Close to highways though not sure about trains
Not sure what's wrong with Rocky Hill? Good schools, taxes are low, there is a wide range of housing options, it's near the highway and two major routes. Assuming they are both driving its a very good option.
It’s just not a nice place. It’s more cookie cutter, no personality. Lots of traffic. Higher crime. Just my opinion. Take care
Fuckkkkk that
Old Saybrook or New London, but be prepared for 2+ hr train rides each way.
Old Saybrook has a nice train station.
Don’t try to “split the difference”. Find a location that works good to great for one of you and make it so only one person has pain. Pain from commuting is non-linear with time (i.e. the pain increase from a 2->3 hour commute is less than a 1->2 hour commute). This will allow at least one of you to have more of a semblance of a normal life.
It’s going to suck, a lot, but it can work. I’ve done this for most of the time I’ve lived in CT - with jobs up and down the eastern seaboard, but I’ve never had an employer in CT or RI.
Yes to this concept. Have fam with similar situation in Socal. They chose to live near her work bc housing more affordable, and he suffers the commute. At least now it is not daily. It was when they started.
If either of you have two consecutive days in the office it might make more sense to live closer to the other person’s job and have the person with the two consecutive days take a hotel room near their office one night per week.
Good luck, ur gonna need it
I live in Southbury. Its about 1.5hrs to NYC and 2hrs to Boston. The school district her is really great. Family friendly community as well
2 hours by magic carpet? That’s a 2 1/2 hour ride into Boston without traffic. 3+ during rush hour.
High chance your kid grows up racist though there's like 2 black kids in the high school.
Dumb comment
ok
I’m more optimistic than some of the other posters. For the last 5 years I’ve had to do office visits to both Boston and NYC. it’s not as often for me as you describe, but it’s doable and still a lot cheaper than the cost of living in either city. We’re in the South Windsor area. There’s no good train option for Boston, but if I leave early enough I can consistently make it in less than two hours driving. Yeah there’s days where it becomes 3, but usually only if I get a later start. For NYC, I’ll either take Amtrak from Hartford or Windsor, or drive down to New Haven and take Metro North. Either total trip is about 3 hours.
Old Saybrook for sure!
[deleted]
I'm sorry but your drive to Boston is going to suck..... ouch most ppl who work in NYC lives in Norwalk, Stamford, Greenich, etc those are extremely far from Boston.
West Hartford or New London. Check train schedules.
Unfortunately you can’t get from Hartford to Boston by train because we suck at public transit. The only option is southern CT on the Amtrak line. The drive is rough, when I went to Boston from western CT once a week I left at 4:30am to not get stuck in that last leg of rush hour backup between Natick and Boston.
Woodbridge or Cheshire (husband can park in New Haven or West Haven for Metro North train). Or, maybe Guilford or Madison with Shoreline East train to Metro North to City.
OP’s likely going to drive to/fro Boston (or, Riverside or even Framingham MBTA commuter rail lots), and want to find place to stay 1 night/week. Suspect OP or husband may end up searching for new role within year.?
Towns listed above have good schools, and enable convenient access to New Haven, good restaurants, theater, Yale museums, etc). Milford, not quite as well respected also a possibility. Good luck OP.
Come to Stonington or Pawcatuck. To commute to NY, drive to New Haven and take the train in. To go to Boston, drive to Providence and take the train in.
Old Saybrook for sure. Right on train line where Amtrak stops.
I would check with HR or your manager to see if you could be full remote. They may allow an exception if you explain your individual situation. Commuting to NYC isn't great, but it is possible. Many CT people do it. Commuting to Boston on the other hand is awful. It's just too far.
YOOOOO
Create an LLC, deliver yourself to work as an. independent contractor, & write $.63/mile off your taxes.
Then live anywhere with all that extra moneyyyyyy
Worcester, MA. You’d have an hour drive or 1.5 hour commuter rail ride into Boston. He can take the JFK shuttle out of Worcester airport.
Did you forget the /s? They said suburban with good schools.
Came here to add you cannot rely on Amtrak. For instance Hartford to NYC on Amtrak route isn't bad. It's comfortable and quick and lately the price is great 1 week ahead.. but only .if it is on time. Most mornings it's OK but the return trip is delayed almost every day. Often by 2 hours. Simply unreliable.
Don’t depend on the train to get into Boston
Hi, I'm a freelancer, and I have to work in NYC and Boston. I live in West Hartford.
Since you're only going in 2 days a week, it won't be that bad. I'll happily give commuter advice for each of you if you'd like.
As for you commenting that they need different jobs, that's some solid armchair quarterback advice. Bravo.
Not doable
We live in west hartford, and I work in Worcester, often going in to boston. West Hartford is right on 84, and just about halfway between NYC and Boston. I think its about the best you are going to do, balanced commute wise, but just be aware my commute to worcester is about 75 minutes each way, much longer if you hit the bad traffic.
I commute from the Hartford area to NYC, it’s a little under 3 hours door to door. I drive 40 min. to West Haven then take Metro North, then it’s 1:45 on the train and a 20 min walk (or 5 min subway ride) to my office. Boston is going to be tougher. One day I hope a commuter train connects Springfield to Boston and you can take the Hartford Line all the way up. Until then, it’s Amtrak (which isn’t really feasible for commuting) or driving. Driving is doable, but it’s a grind (even just 2x/week). I’d aim to negotiate that down to once a week while you look for something else. While Hartford is equidistant from NYC and Boston, NYC has a larger commuter radius thanks to better transit options. Much of Fairfield County commutes to NYC, and even a few maniacs like me are out as far as Central CT. With Boston, CT and even Western MA aren’t considered commutable (though Lamont and MA business leaders have been pushing for a Springfield to Boston connection for years). I could cut a half hour off my commute by driving, but there’s too much day to day uncertainty with traffic, and 4+ hours in the car in one day is too much. I can relax on the train, catch up on work, or take a nap if I need it (and frequently do).
[deleted]
It’s a little cheaper and faster, but for me it’s a 1:15 drive to Brewster vs. 45 min to West Haven, and 84W tends to be less reliable than 91S (especially through Waterbury). Also parking in West Haven is painless.
[deleted]
No, it’s cheaper than New Haven though, and much easier to get in and out. I think it’s $7 daily, but I do the 6 month pass for $300. It’s free if you roll the dice, they seldom check (the guy who parks next to me has a pass that expired in June and hasn’t been ticketed yet). I used to live in Danbury and remember Brewster parking being a hassle, but that was many years ago and may have changed.
[deleted]
Try coming to CT and doing the commute from New Haven area and then somewhere around Manchester the next day. Probably have LinkedIn open while riding the train - I can’t imagine you would still consider it 2x week.
Farmington, much lower municipal taxes than neighboring towns and great schools.
Go rent some hotels and then test the commute
Your options are picking a place both of you will hate life or just the one going to Boston will suffer. I wouldn’t do that commute for less than 400k a year even one day a week. i had a radiology class at boston university and even coming from the north I left at 330 for a 8 am class with mins to spare, the only flight I’ve ever missed was going to Logan left at 4 for a 1140am flight from. Groton ct
You would probably be better off living near one job and the other person spends the night near work and does 2 days consecutively.
I like Ledyard and you’d get to live in a quiet town expect 2 days a week.
Damn we had the same thought was just about to suggest ledyard too! We’ve got decent schools, proximity to both shoreline east and Amtrak, and is roughly a midway point for highways (traffic permitting)
We like to walk around the casinos when we’re bored too. Not a bad area.
[deleted]
West Hartford works for NY commute via Amtrak takes 3 hours. Commute to Boston would be via car which is not the best as others have mentioned. My two cents - pick a town you’ll be happy in. Things change quickly and you or your spouse may end with a different job/different work location. West Hartford is a great place to check out.
There is a bus from Hartford to Boston that I used to rely on about once a month (or two). You should check the schedule as they have reduced the number of busses during covid and have not gone back, but it is still workable.
For access to trains though, New Haven or thereabout is the best place to be for going to Boston and New York.
You’re going to drive to TF Green and take MBTA commuter rail to Boston. Amtrak on short notice is absurdly expensive and there aren’t many trains. Guilford to TF Green is ~ 80 miles. That’s the best New Haven suburb.
That makes for two soul-crushing commutes.
Bostons not gonna work
Good luck. Both of those commutes suck. Somewhere along 95 would be my suggestion.
There are @ 100 min express trains (fewer stops) from new haven to grand central. My company was walking distance from grand central. Having to jump on another subway from there will also had time and headache. Took about 35 -40 minutes to drive and park in new haven from a town just south of Hartford. All in all it averaged about 2H 45m each way. Driving in is possible, but you are looking at needing to leave very very early.
I now drive to Boston one day a week from the same area and leave around 5. Arrive just before 7. DM me if want more info.
New haven and take the train.
New haven has an express to NYC, if you live further up the shoreline (old Saybrook etc) you’ll probably have to take a transfer in new haven.
Pre-Covid I went to New York two days a week and Boston one day a week. New Haven, Branford, Guilford would all be good choices for both of you to access the train station in New Haven
My brother lives in Sturbridge, MA (about 50min outside of BOS) and works in Cambridge. His commute home has been known to take 3 hours.
[deleted]
I can help you find a home that you can both commute from with ease - I’ve got some ideas, I’m a realtor and work the entire state. Let me know if you want my help.
Berlin CT is the winner here. Center of the State, Train Station, access to all Highways. Great Schools.
Old Saybrook would be your best choice!
NYC commute is very popular Boston hall nah
Depending on your budget, check out Westbrook and Essex/Ivoryton. Grew up in both of these towns my whole life (Mother in Essex, Father in Westbrook). Very very safe neighborhoods, great small schools and they are both around a 10min drive from Old Saybrook Amtrak station. Hope this helps.
You're asking for too much buddy
Stamford - right in the train line for NYC or Boston and some real nice areas/apartments on the waterfront if required
Isn’t there double taxation too if you live in CT & work in NY or MA? That could reduce your chances of getting a tax refund.
I would say New Haven area. Branford is very nice, very suburban. You would have everything you need in Branford or within a 15 minute drive to get to wherever you need, and the train station is fairly newly rebuilt and is quite nice. It's also sort of centrally located to both NY and MA.
You can take the train from Springfield Mass to NYC and driving to boston from there isnt to bad
Close to 4 hours on the train, each way? That’s a 17 hour workday, twice a week. Hard pass from me.
Glastonbury
Hartford station to NYC is ~3 hours one way using Amtrak. Doable once or twice a week but otherwise an impossible commute if you need to do it more often.
This was my first thought too. There or on the shoreline for the train.
Squirts_Faygojizzer t1_ixkahce wrote
One of you should probably get a different job