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ACatInACloak t1_jbccf87 wrote

Imposter syndrome is a bitch aint it. Do I suck? Do I need to be this hard on myself to stop myself from doing a bad job? Am I actually doing a good job and being to hard on myself? When people tell me I'm doing a good job are they being honest or are they just being polite?



hauntedadrevenue666 t1_jbdd73f wrote

Then ya follow up with uh, “am I even good enough to have imposter syndrome?”


ACatInACloak t1_jbdh270 wrote

Oh God.... I never even thought of that one before.... thats gonna go into the rotation now


c4k3m4st3r5000 t1_jbeqj58 wrote

Thats like a dream within a dream stuff. Now you've given me a whole new platform to pull myself apart...


sileter0000 t1_jbg104t wrote

this is me when they told me about imposter syndrome. Like, yeah, no, I'm not good enough for that.


abaram t1_jbcqnqp wrote

Yo I go through this thought process every hour of my work life


PM_ME_SOME_SONGS t1_jbd2fxr wrote

Why not motivate yourself in a positive way? Who said that you need to be hard on yourself to get anywhere? Questions from my therapist.


smr120 t1_jbd5gk3 wrote

Because I tried that, and it did not work, and this seems to work for me. Seems like an easy choice to me.


White_Mocha t1_jbe2jzt wrote

Sometimes it’s easier to be hard on ourselves than taking the hard way and believing in ourselves.


PM_ME_SOME_SONGS t1_jbrci7j wrote

This is probably it. Motivating yourself by being hard on yourself sucks, but it works.


WraithNS t1_jbeezx7 wrote

Duh, because I fucking suck.

Answer to my therapist.


TishTashToshbaToo t1_jbg0vlu wrote

How would one do that? I read somewhere (probably in a meme) that you should talk to yourself the way you talk to your pet/child when they succeed at something small. 'Go you! You're so good at this!' or maybe just 'Stop eating that! Drop it!'


wasabi2knz t1_jbcy3fe wrote

It’s ok - it eventually gets better - unless I am just failing massively and no one is telling me and I am doing a terrible job and oh god oh god.

22 years in tech, 7 in consulting……


TheChef_ t1_jbd9rk3 wrote

Great post, I can totally relate. 15 years in tech, 6 years in Consulting here.


Baebel t1_jbdzt57 wrote

Use to have a team lead that would try to benefit in gaslighting the hell out of me while I was in the middle of this, and a rapidly growing state of depression. Not fun.

Things are better now, especially after she was eventually fired. I hope to never return to that state of mind ever again.


White_Mocha t1_jbe38xp wrote

Had a shooting partner who did the same. After I pulled myself out of depression, he forced me back in a crazy way that could create a couple of TV seasons.


howard416 t1_jbe82vu wrote

What is a shooting partner? Firearms practice?


White_Mocha t1_jbeh0en wrote

Could mean several different things, however in my case, it means someone I made YouTube sketches with. I was (or perhaps still am) an actor with an eye for cinematic quality and he’s a comedian. His toxicity made for great and highly viewed videos, but when he brought that into real life, it was way too much to deal with.


ganskidrums t1_jbethbv wrote

This is where comparing oneself to others actually makes sense, within reason. I agree it’s a mistake to judge your life based on milestones or achievements made by friends and family because we all have different goals and definitions of happiness.

However, in business or athletics or anything else where competition is a key component, we really need to know how we’re doing. With nothing/no one to compare ourselves to, its impossible to know whether we’re crushing it or about to be replaced.

I encounter a LOT of people who are afraid to ask for a raise when they need it, afraid to go home at the end of the day, afraid to take a full lunch break…all because they’re racing this invisible ghost and they don’t even know whether they’re winning or getting lapped.

Know where you stand. If you don’t know, ask.


darkthrive t1_jbdzm00 wrote

self reflection is always good, self criticism is also good but only if its constructive!


Karter705 t1_jbcgdx4 wrote

Okay, but the way in which one should change their behavior in each of those situations is vastly different...


morosis1982 t1_jbdx5n6 wrote

Here's the rub though, until you try one of them you won't know which is true. You just gotta start somewhere.


VG88 t1_jbcqsp8 wrote

Yeah, but change it in what way/which direction?

Come on, meme. Make sense, lol.


400Smithy t1_jbdtlh0 wrote

Either I completely suck... Or I'm too hard on myself. Either way I must change my behaviour.

Gotta read between the lines bro x


Teirmz t1_jbe3vlw wrote

I thought this meme was meant to be mocking at first. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't.


abaram t1_jbcr7d4 wrote

So do I relax and try to give people around me a sense of stability and comfort? Or do I put in extra work to make sure that I create work for everyone?

Those actions have opposite vectors and if I do one thing when the other is needed, I’m gonna be burning some bridges.

Either way, work is miserable and I don’t like it


jerber666 t1_jbcxbwh wrote

If being hard on yourself worked then it would have worked by now.


thrilledteashop15 t1_jbdap0x wrote

Man this hits hard for me. I’m 32 years old, I thought I’d eventually feel comfortable with myself as I got older. But I absolutely hate myself, every success is minor or a fluke while every mistake is the worst mistake anyone could possibly make. I thought therapy would help, but it hasn’t yet. It’s such a weight, I feel so tired, hating myself. But I can’t seem to give myself any grace at all. 🤷‍♀️


Maleficent-Aurora t1_jbeh7wb wrote

If you're not in a DBT program you should try it. It's different than usual CBT talk therapy


LunaMoth116 t1_jbdftjx wrote

I really don’t care for these “motivating” false dilemmas. Never mind that they encourage negative self-talk (which we could all use more of, amirite? 🙄). These are not the ONLY options for why you are not successful, or don’t believe yourself to be. What happened to mediocrity? Being average? Just being “okay” at something? We are not all “A” or “F” students in the school of life; the “C” student deserves attention too, because they are no less worthy of motivation or praise and no more deserving of contempt and condescension than the outliers are.

Maybe you don’t completely suck at something, but you’re not that great at it, either. So what? If you enjoy it, can support yourself, are respected by your peers, etc., isn’t that good enough? Maybe you’re too hard on yourself, but that doesn’t mean you should get a swollen head either. Why not just be self-aware enough to know that, like everyone else, you’re a WIP who’s doing their best, and you can never stop improving?

Either way, false dilemmas are irritating and deserve to be called out for the BS they are. 😑


Porpoise555 t1_jbecgqg wrote

I think the issue is that average is slowly not becoming good enough. Soon the average person will have difficulty putting food on the table.


zukeen t1_jbdug7j wrote

Everyone fails, but you usually only see your own failures very clearly, while everyone else hides their own and presents their strongest points.

The key for me is to compare myself to my yesterday-self, have I improved in any way or am I stationary? If I am stationary, what is the smallest achievable improvement I can make today? Remember that even 5 mins of (repeated) practice on something is good, you don’t have to become a specialist within a week. It is also okay to take a day, or a week off without feeling guilty about it.

On the other hand, if you consistently put in the work and still don’t see any results after multiple months, even after changing your approach, you need to take a hard look in the mirror, be honest and consider if you should further pursue that activity or look at something else. That is still fine! We are not all built for the same things.


burgersnwings t1_jbcsdk0 wrote

But the method of change depends on if it's one, the other, or both.


froginbog t1_jbcjxre wrote

Damn this is so spot on


crayon_paste t1_jbdkma5 wrote

I had this mentality when I would set a goal for myself and not finish it. What I did was rationalize the thought process behind making the goal. The goal was to improve myself and to do something out of myself, not a way to punish myself.


LubaUnderfoot t1_jbdl983 wrote

Not an either or. You can suck and be too hard on yourself. You can be doing your best and still do better, too.


MauPow t1_jbdog9r wrote

Why not both?


NiroThomas t1_jbd1g15 wrote

If you truly believe in yourself you will be able to accomplish anything you put your mind to, convince yourself fully that it is possible, and you will succeed!


vag1ne t1_jbd3ei1 wrote

I know u in real life Ramin


antfinn t1_jbd4knc wrote

I mean, that's fair


[deleted] t1_jbdi5pf wrote



booglnoodl t1_jbdo5g0 wrote

My life in one picture. How did you know.


the_other_irrevenant t1_jbdslqz wrote

That's not that helpful given that the changes you have to make are completely different depending on which is the case.


Bread_crumb_head t1_jbdsqbh wrote

Always default to being kind to yourself. Even if you have things in your life you need to change, you can still speak to yourself with love and kindness.

Think of how you might try to explain to a kind but troubled best friend. Most wouldn't berate or demean, they would be kindly but truthful in their own way.

The best part about being nice to yourself is that over time you'll be nicer to everyone as a side effect.

I hope whoever reads this has a lovely day :)


Beliahr t1_jbdvqnw wrote

Yes, my thoughts also always stop about there.


Qud90 t1_jbdx2vo wrote

Either way🤪


Schniiic t1_jbe108y wrote

I see myself in that picture and I dont like it


the_greatest_MF t1_jbe1s5c wrote

if you suck, make sure it's hard. if you are hard, find someone to suck.


iplayvideogamesnaked t1_jbedt3j wrote

I usually scroll through this subs posts, but this one made me come back. Damn


charliechin t1_jbeepjs wrote

For some reason i find this picture very wario ware like. I like it


monii_boo t1_jbef1kb wrote

I set an alarm to wake up early and workout. I was scrolling through Reddit until I saw this post. It made me get up and get my Pilates and yoga in. Thank you.


YesAndNo888 t1_jbekz5i wrote

I'm honestly the best person I know. In a lot of areas. And I'm extremely hard on myself. Figures.


Trippinbill3 t1_jbf1v9r wrote

If you don’t have family that makes it natural for you to be happy with yourself, then get friends that do. Memes and quotes are temporary, but god friends are forever!!


rookirab t1_jbf5ot0 wrote

100 Push ups, 100 Sit ups, 100 Squats & 10km run EVERY SINGLE DAY


garry4321 t1_jbf70sn wrote

Doesnt really help when the two actions you need to take are completely different....


chainsawx72 t1_jbf9jua wrote

I completely suck... but really so does everyone else in their own way.

Maybe I should stop being so hard on myself AND others.


GlubSki t1_jbfadwq wrote

Kinda need to know which one it is though. If I think I'm being to hard on myself but actually do in fact suck - and I end up changing my behavior towards being less hard on myself - I would just end up. Sucking more. Help.


jagulto t1_jbferd9 wrote

Or... You're perfect exactly as you are and the only thing you need to change is to stop worrying about it


Responsible-Win-4348 t1_jbfgrlu wrote

The latter. You are great at something. Have confidence in your abilities.


CarBombtheDestroyer t1_jbfh274 wrote

If you do better at one of those you tend to also do better at the other.


[deleted] t1_jbfntei wrote

I definitely completely suck and need to change


MarwanMero t1_jbfq6ma wrote

"you have to negotiate with yourself not tyrannize yourself" Jordan Peterson


wickedmonk00 t1_jbfrinv wrote

The balance is to find happiness in small things and focus less on mammoth dreams and desires if you live your day right you make your life right and you stop feeling like a looser


Not_Larfy t1_jbgizvp wrote

I cannot accept compliments confidently.. it always ends up with me downplaying what I was complimented on.


Shower_Handel t1_jbcsjhb wrote

Relief finally came when I stopped blaming myself and started blaming other people 😤


ChuCHuPALX t1_jbdqthf wrote

...or you just completely suck and lack the literal ability to achieve your goal. Sometimes acknowledging it's time to stop and move on is better than failing unnecessarily.


Dryandrough t1_jbcumyg wrote

You're just a low self esteemed narcissist person, you can do this!