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vamanaswk t1_jbdu9zi wrote

That’s fine in and of itself. But the problem is not trying to get closure , rather being forced to continually deal with the same person over and over again


AmargithHuld t1_jbe0keo wrote

And, that’s when I cut him out of my life, your Honor.

I hear ya, though. Took me 5 years and there’s still pressure to ‘make up’.

This shit is never fucking easy.


chevymonza t1_jbhmx97 wrote

Sigh, members are difficult to eliminate from one's life entirely. Forced to cross paths now and then.


AmargithHuld t1_jbim3wq wrote

I hear you.

I was «lucky»

I was taken abroad by my husbands promotion, so I only see them when I go back.

About 2 years ago, I made it clear i was no longer interested in seeing my father or his side of the family, so I stopped flying over for Christmas.

Now I only go back for my mom and friends and during an event for her side of the family, where I endure my brothers - for now.

We’ll see how long that lasts.

But honest - it’s lifted a weight off my shoulders in a way I wasnt expecting.

And I finally get to enjoy the Yuletide ❤️

100% recommend ;)


chevymonza t1_jblssc5 wrote

That sounds wonderful!! I tried to move to Europe after my first visit in my early twenties. Didn't work out, but I've been telling my husband that if his company ever has jobs over yonder, that he needs to consider it!


or10r t1_jbilcy6 wrote

Bravo. I don't see this text saying that you should put up with bad behavior from the people in your life. Get clear of them. Just don't look for them to try and amend the harms they have done to you. Let them go. You cant run the race of life you are called to run carrying heavy burdens. Life is far too short and far too precious for that.


SweetJ138 t1_jbedlq7 wrote

yep. i'm forced to live with the person because we're broke and have kids. i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.


kdavido1 t1_jbeqfti wrote

Or worse, the person who is causing the harm comes at this from the perspective of the ‘hidden gem’. I.e they are abusive but it’s ok because their feelings are valid, etc. I firmly believe that messages like this text enable toxic behaviour.


writerchic t1_jbfast3 wrote

That can be true too. It depends on who gets this advice.


walking_deadinsides t1_jbhqwrk wrote

100% yes. This resonated with me and my situation with my best friend. 26 years of ups and downs. We have taken 4 breaks in 26 years bc of her being insane and letting her BPD/Bipolar take over without any regard. This will be our 5th time and hopefully the final break. She snuck into my room while I showered with my husband to snoop on our conversation. I feel so violated and sick. How do I know she did this? She told me in her 10’page text rant/meltdown. I can see her posting this “hidden gem” or sending me this as a jab of sorts.


DibEdits t1_jbhpe08 wrote

Its like how can you heal a wound when the knife is still stuck in you?