Hi there — I don’t know you, but I am grateful you’re alive, happy to have reached you, and wanna throw some positivity your way. [Discussion]

Submitted by Snaab t3_11n2d9h in GetMotivated

To keep this short and abide by the rules, allow me to address whatever you might be struggling with to say this:

Your feelings are valid, and they matter. I want to encourage you to not fault or shame yourself for being human and having emotions. Life is a lot to handle, but part of what makes it so difficult at times is exactly the same reason you are going to get through this — change is constant. Everything else is temporary. It cannot be over-emphasized just how incredibly significant of a difference a slight change in perspective can make.

So with that, I’d like to remind you of all the little ways you are doing great. There are many things you are and do that deserve recognition. Be proud of yourself for pulling through, and it will get better in time. And always remember that there are countless people out there, myself included, who are rooting for you.

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YewKnowMe t1_jblcq7g wrote

Thank you for this; I've been struggling for a couple of weeks, but have been holding it together for the most part & trying to deal as best I can.

This was really nice to read, thank you again kind stranger

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Snaab OP t1_jbm6o8o wrote

Happy to help! Spread the love!

You got this.

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DaLiftingDead t1_jbmbugv wrote

Good job holding it together during whatever you have been going through. I am proud of you!

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_rflctns_ t1_jbl9u7b wrote

Thank you so much! As someone with mental health issues and neurological differences, I really appreciate you taking your time to write this positive message! 🫂

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Snaab OP t1_jbm6inl wrote

You’re welcome!

I have had my fair share of mental health turmoil due to a neurological disorder, myself. So I can relate.

Finding medication that works helps, but otherwise it’s an ongoing battle worth fighting.

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JustKimNotKimberly t1_jbm5haf wrote

Thanks. That’s extraordinarily kind. We all need more of that.

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Snaab OP t1_jbmab8p wrote

You’re welcome. And I agree.

“Be the change”, right?

I bet you are :)

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family_456_man t1_jbm2qv8 wrote

Thank you, been okay the past few weeks from life being life, today was just different and i needed this. Thank you

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Snaab OP t1_jbm9vs1 wrote

You’re welcome. I’m glad I could help even a little bit with your rough day.

And hey, I just asked, and tomorrow says it’s got your back. Keep on keepin’ on, friend.

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Rushb87 t1_jbmkegm wrote

Thank you, just got dumped by my GF of 3 years yesterday, trying to find that motivation to keep on going and living life.

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Snaab OP t1_jbmyud8 wrote

Aw man, I feel for you. Getting broken up with is one of the worst feelings; especially, during the phase you’re in right now where you’re abruptly being forced to come to terms with the structure of your days being so different. It’s unavoidable.

For what it’s worth…thankfully, the best prescription for a broken heart works its magic whether you want it to or not — and that’s time.

I’ve gone through it myself (by the woman I truly believed I was going to marry). I felt like I was never going to find anyone as good as her again. I tortured myself over “the things I could have done better” and turned to dating apps to try to quickly fill the void she left in my life, but it only made it hurt worse.

Before I knew it I found myself in a deep depression that I had to climb my way out of through weekly counseling sessions. In my case it took about 3 months for me to get back to the point where I was “standing” and could honestly tell someone that I was “okay” at any given moment. Then it took about two years after that, as well as a few more trial relationships to find the woman I’ve now been with for 4 years, married for 3, and can’t wait to grow old with if we’re lucky.

And you know what? While I definitely could and should have done some things better that might have made things work with my ex, hindsight has me 100% convinced that we simply weren’t right for each other.

I know you didn’t request any advice on your current situation (if this even qualifies as advice). I just wanted to offer some insight into another dude’s experience with what you’re going through. Wish I could tell it to myself back then. Hang in there man.

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DaLiftingDead t1_jbm27me wrote

I've definitely been going through a rough patch so thanks for this.

I'm rooting for you too!

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Snaab OP t1_jbm7zoy wrote

Much appreciated!

I have been too for the last while, but suddenly I see the light at the end of the tunnel (and those warm Spring days around the corner should help, am I right?)

Here’s to being able to keep moving forward (even if we have to crawl) through our rough patches and coming out stronger and wiser :) Keep it up!

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DaLiftingDead t1_jbm88gs wrote

My mantra is: Nothing lasts forever, including the bad.

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Snaab OP t1_jbmaiwd wrote

Love it. Words to live by.

Helps you not take for granted the good. Keeps you from losing hope during the bad.

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DaLiftingDead t1_jbmbpx6 wrote

That and "Comparison is the thief of joy" which is a phrase that hit so hard that I got rid of Facebook and social media except reddit; together they got me through the worst of it.

Best of luck, and feel free to DM if you even need someone to vent to!

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Snaab OP t1_jbmcbd5 wrote

Dude me too, lol. Never going back.

That saying is so true.

Thanks a lot, same goes to you.

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daveinthe6 t1_jbmhvy9 wrote

Thanks Op. I’ve had the shittiest of shit days and you made it a fraction better.

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Snaab OP t1_jbmqsz3 wrote

Sorry to hear that, but happy to help.

Tomorrow is a new day, let’s focus on the “controllables” to make it a better one!

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Confident_Cause4866 t1_jbmk3y4 wrote

Today has been a rough day (given my deep lack of sleep of last night), this week has been long. Life has been rough for the last while, & as much as am keeping myself up & performing to better myself for me, I surely needed to read these words.

Thank you, kind stranger! I wish you the best, & support you too !

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Snaab OP t1_jbmrzbz wrote

Hey you’re welcome, and thanks for sharing — I appreciate the response. Keep hanging in there, and always remember that we’re in it together as long as we choose to be!

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Confident_Cause4866 t1_jciqdwd wrote

I wanted to give a small update - been working on my self these past couple weeks. Kicked my butt to workout again consecutively. I've started stretching again each morning after wake up & before going to sleep at night. Also picked up my slack in brushing my teeth every single day. These small things, are keeping me going, grounding me back to earth a little more, & feel accomplished & able to take on the day ahead (or relax for the night).

I hope you're doing well!!

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Snaab OP t1_jcjcp89 wrote

Hey! It’s good to hear from you, and I’m glad to know you’ve been taking positive steps in your day-to-day life. You’re spot on — getting on top of a few little things can make a massive difference in how we feel overall. It’s one of life’s simplest hacks that is, somehow, far too easy to lose sight of or even forget about entirely. So keep it up! Those might be small things, but they truly matter.

I’ve been doing better with brushing my teeth lately, too. Staying on top of the kitchen is a hard one for me, and it’s spotless right now! As far as exercising, I recently bought these 12-sided “workout dice”. Two of them have various common exercises on them, and the third has both reps and durations (in seconds). I was having the hardest time for a while waking up in the mornings. So now I keep those dice — along with my phone, a glass of water, and my medicine — out in the living room. When my alarm goes off, the long walk to turn it off, then chugging a full glass of water with my meds, wakes me up enough to at least not unconsciously immediately snooze and fall back asleep. Without skipping a beat, I roll the dice and do whatever they say. Then I re-roll and do round 2. By the time I get done with a third little exercise that takes no longer than 90 seconds, my blood is flowing and I feel energized and ready to give the day my best shot haha. As a bonus that whole process has allowed me to be super consistent with taking my meds! Total game changer.

But anyway, I’ve been meaning for a long time now to get into the habit of stretching (and meditating) every day. Hearing about your progress has inspired me to start today! So thanks for the update. I’m genuinely happy you’re doing well :)

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aghrivaine t1_jbmmg9u wrote

I needed to remember that what’s hard now will change because everything changes.

May the good vibes you’re putting out return unto you tenfold!

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Br0donnell t1_jbmxh47 wrote

Really needed this. Thank you friend

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Snaab OP t1_jboksr2 wrote

Any time! I appreciate you stopping by and letting me know I helped you even a little bit. Doing so helped me back, so thank you. Take care.

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tcriverrat18 t1_jbn57a0 wrote

Very helpful words right now. Thank you so much for posting this. I keep fixating on all the things I’m doing wrong or not enough of, but I’m overlooking all of the changes that are moving me in the right direction.

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Snaab OP t1_jboldw1 wrote

Exactly, I really relate to that. It’s all about the trajectory, not necessarily where we are at any given moment. All we can do is keep trying! And it never helps to tear ourselves down.

You’re welcome, and thanks for your response.

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Libre_man t1_jbna42t wrote

Being human is so weird, we are super evolved creatures capable of so much, yet we are fragile and unstable to our very core. But every day is good if you love, even if that love isnt another person, it maybe a pet or a sport, or a science...

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Snaab OP t1_jbom079 wrote

I appreciate your thoughts. I agree, it is hard to believe sometimes what we are capable of, on both sides of the spectrum. We as a species can accomplish seemingly impossible things, yet the smallest stuff can effectively cripple us at times if we let it. And you’re totally right that love is the best way to get through just about anything. Thanks for the thoughtful response.

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iamCaptainDeadpool t1_jbn5w7t wrote

You don't even know me. You are lying about when you say you were happy to see me. most people aren't happy to see me cause I am a caligula like figure in their lives.

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Snaab OP t1_jbokcjk wrote

I admitted I don’t know you, but wasn’t lying when I said I am happy to reach you. I figured someone like you would show up to doubt my authenticity, and that’s okay. I myself have seen comments similar to my post and rolled my eyes at strangers “pretending to care about each other”. But I’m in a different place now.

I really do care about you, despite not knowing you, and even if you don’t care about me back. I hope you are doing okay, and I highly doubt that you’re a “Caligula like figure” in most people’s lives that cross paths with you. Try not to let unhappy people jade you against the rest of us.

If you ever wanna talk, feel free to reach out. Take care, stranger.

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iamCaptainDeadpool t1_jbombc6 wrote

I was kidding when I said that I am caligula like figure. I am fun at parties and that makes me Stalin. When I am not sending people to the gulag I am sarcastic with them. When people don't laugh at my jokes gulag it is. So my point is why didn't you laugh at my previous joke about me being caligula. You have about 5 second window to laugh and if you don't. It's gulag for you.

P.s- thank you for tolerating my foolishness. Thank you for caring for me. I care about you too... in a non creepy way of course. BTW can I have your home and office address for research purposes of course.

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Snaab OP t1_jbp2l4o wrote

Well I am absolutely terrible at detecting sarcasm, and admittedly had to look up what caligula meant, so that certainly didn’t set me up for success :P

But your P.S. did get a good laugh out of me, so thanks for the reply. As someone who doesn’t go to parties, I won’t see you there but I’m glad you’re having fun and making people laugh.

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iamCaptainDeadpool t1_jbp6ma0 wrote

Aww you are sweet... BTW my previous comment was also riddled with foolishness. Stalin was actually a horrible man he was the dictator of ussr. And he wasn't great at parties. Also gulag isn't a nice place either. So the premise of this foolishness is that a stupid guy (me) comparing himself to the most terrible person there was. My jokes usually gets funnier when I explain them. Also This is what funny people do they explain their jokes way too much. If you want more explanation feel free to DM me. And please to make up for my misreble life and my neediness Laugh at my joke Also your Laugh should be visible in the comments section.

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Snaab OP t1_jbp9im7 wrote

Huehuehuehuehue

How’s that?

I do know who Stalin is, and what a gulag is. And I’m also well aware of the indisputable fact that only the funniest people know that you need to say “just kidding” in order to unlock the full potential of comedy. I should know, I have to explain my jokes, and I make people laugh all the time. It used to happen everywhere I go. It still does, but it used to, too. At least now I know they’re laughing with me while I cry, rather than at me.

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iamCaptainDeadpool t1_jbpb6f4 wrote

First please Don't cry I'll hand you my imaginary napkin. Now I got that you have a problem with people Laughing at you. What I do in this case is I make fun of myself and even if they are taking it too far you have to come clean and tell them. Make fun of yourself that's what I do.

P.s- the napkin is infected with the new zombie virus. You are a zombie now.

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SketchKYR t1_jbnbc4x wrote

Thank you. I’ll try to believe every word of this, but I’m currently struggling with suicidal ideation…

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Snaab OP t1_jboquov wrote

I’m so sorry to hear that. Just to throw it out there, I experienced suicidal ideation too in the past, when my circumstances were different. Now it’s been a long time since it’s happened to me, but I never rule out that it might show up again.

My best friend still experiences suicidal ideation off and on. It used to be pretty much constant for him for years, but at this point it is few and far between, lasting just a few hours when it happens. He has accepted the fact that it is just something he experiences, but has learned that it never lasts. He tries to tell me when it does. And even though it doesn’t “make it go away”, he says it always helps just to hear me say I love him and that am here for him, whatever he may need — even if it’s just to know I care.

So now I am saying the same to you. And there are many other people out there who would do the same. If you ever need someone to talk to you can message me on here and I promise to respond! And if you can think of anyone you know personally in life who you trust to know how you feel, who can show you they care without “freaking out” or being overbearing about it, I highly recommend reaching out to them.

Just know that it will pass, and that — aside from how you feel/think when it comes vs. when it goes — the fact that you matter stays the same.

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kirstyau t1_jbndqml wrote

Thanks struggling with the conflict of separating or staying with my husband, and having back pain.

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Snaab OP t1_jboy4du wrote

Sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I of course don’t know your specific situation, but hear me out:

My mom and dad got divorced just last year. After the initial, inevitable hardship my siblings and I went through while we processed our new reality, we are all better off; especially, my parents. They are still every bit as committed to each other as they ever were during their 36 years of marriage. In fact, they text or call every day. But now they get to truly live their lives every day, without having the stress/pressure of trying to cohabitate with another person who naturally exists almost completely opposite from how they each want to. Having their own space and being able to rebuild their independence has empowered my parents to bring their healthiest selves to every family get-together, and they are both amazing grandparents to my brothers’ kids.

My uncle and aunt also got divorced, about a decade ago. She (my dad’s sister) is still obviously around. But he moved back to Canada and no longer comes to family get togethers. They both have healthy relationships with their 3 kids, but they don’t spend any time or keep in touch with each other anymore. Regardless, they are both out there living their best lives.

I also know a couple who got divorced. They then both remarried. One of their partners died. The other got divorced a second time. And then, after 30-odd years, they reconnected and have now been married and loving life together for the last decade.

Finally, there are countless examples of people working through the hardest of times, practicing self-growth, learning how to compromise, and ultimately salvaging a healthy, lifelong marriage that was previously on the verge of collapsing. It requires equal participation from both parties, and it’s hard as hell, but it can be done!

My point is that no matter what happens, whether you end up leaving your husband, or collaboratively rebuilding your love from the ground up — it’s going to be okay. I’m sorry you are going through it, but you are going to be okay. You can handle it, and you’ll come out of these exceptionally hard times a better, stronger person. I wish you the best through it all.

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kirstyau t1_jbpvcky wrote

Thankyou so much this has helped me more than you know.

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selfietuesday t1_jbnt9mr wrote

Thank you friend I too needed to hear this today. It’s been a long week.

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Snaab OP t1_jboyzs6 wrote

You’re welcome, and it’s good to hear from you. Great job getting through your tough week! I hope this weekend is exactly what you need. Cheers.

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badpanda t1_jbo175v wrote

A really wonderful thing to write and much needed for me to hear. ❤️

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Snaab OP t1_jbozrpy wrote

Then I’m glad it found you. Take care ❤️

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maomeowmao t1_jbo2vne wrote

Just took a deep breath and really accepting this grace. Thanks friend! ❤️

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Snaab OP t1_jbp09f7 wrote

You’re welcome, glad you stopped by!

And thanks for the reminder to take some deep breaths :) I’m a notorious shallow-breath-taker lol

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Organic-Lemon-9496 t1_jbo53bz wrote

Doesn't look like anything to me Eugenia

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Snaab OP t1_jbp1f22 wrote

Not sure how to interpret this, but I am a fan of Westworld.

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Organic-Lemon-9496 t1_jbrgb1x wrote

My grandmother and Dolores ate kind of the same person when I was growing up as a kid.

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Purple-Ad-4629 t1_jbovps2 wrote

HEY!! Right back at ya fella!
You are also important and and something special. And if you’ve ever doubted it yourself, know that there are a small handful of people out of the 8 billion here that would do this with no prompt. Good on you. Good on you friend!

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Snaab OP t1_jbp32f1 wrote

Thanks a lot, I really appreciate the kind words!

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alxotl t1_jbozdhl wrote

Thank you for posting this. My depression has been giving me hell for the past month and this made me feel good about myself even for a short amount of time. I can’t say how much it means to me hearing this. From the depths of my soul, thank you

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Snaab OP t1_jbp49o6 wrote

Hey I’ve been there, and I’ll likely arrive there again. But then I will eventually find my way back to feeling as decent as I currently do, one way or another. That’s just life. Keep going, friend. Thanks for reaching out, and best regards.

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alxotl t1_jbp69od wrote

Thank you so much. I wish you the best as well

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apiorifa t1_jbpvh1a wrote

I can’t stop drinking to save my own life!!! I don’t wanna lose the love of my life over it…

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Snaab OP t1_jbryvi7 wrote

Oof, that’s a real tough one because of how widely and relentlessly alcohol is woven into every corner of society. I’ve never had a problem with booze, personally, but I do know addiction. And in my experience, professional help is paramount in overcoming/learning to navigate the nuances of addiction.

I believe in you!

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