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k4Anarky t1_jby8u86 wrote

People tend to forget that to change, you sometimes have to give up something (I like the story of Odin giving an eye and bled for 9 days for knowledge) or completely break yourself down.

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sptlssmnd t1_jbylh02 wrote

I feel this. Like being in a comfortable, but ultimately unhappy relationship. The change is rough and you’ll “emotionally bleed” for a while, but sometimes it’s for the best.

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No_Key_6276 t1_jbze2tt wrote

Thank you for the comment. Doing exactly this

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sptlssmnd t1_jbzkrdg wrote

Me as well. Hang in there, even though it seems rough now and you may miss the other person dearly, it’s change that is needed for a much happier future.

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forte_bass t1_jc08v9f wrote

Been there, hold strong. You probably know why it needs to be done; write down some of the reasons while you're motivated, so when you're inevitably feeling weak later you can look at it and remind yourself why it was the right choice.

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sptlssmnd t1_jc0ht0h wrote

I agree with this method. Surprisingly I have written a list in the form of questions to remind myself how unhappy I’d be if I went back. So I recommend others in my current situation to give that a try as well to reinforce the change, because it will be very tempting to find those old comforts again.

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forte_bass t1_jc08uns wrote

Been there, hold strong. You probably know why it needs to be done; write down some of the reasons while you're motivated, so when you're inevitably feeling weak later you can look at it and remind yourself why it was the right choice.

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Ok-Seaworthiness7207 t1_jbysjh0 wrote

I'm a student worker with a past I'm not proud of, and this marine who works in the office always talks about how "nobody changes", and it seriously puts me on the verge of a panic attack.

Sort of irrelevant, but I seriously hate that mindset, if I believed that, I'd have killed myself already.

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[deleted] t1_jc01cwe wrote

Everyone loves a comeback story! Change is in our nature. We are the most adaptive species on the planet.

Don’t let someone’s admission that “I will never change” become an iron law in your mind of “people never change”. They change all the time!

Change is rarely comfortable though. So your fears are reasonable. Marines are fun but they aren’t exactly known for their people skills….

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Moonblaze13 t1_jbzusbx wrote

Love this elaboration. Appreciated the original post, but this bit extra feels vital.

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