Hey, have you considered that the feeling that you don’t deserve anything good was taught to you? Considering and I mean connecting the dots here from how you feel bound to your mother, that she potentially taught you that? And realistically, how does one single person have a say in your entire sense of self, present and future? I don’t see how genes and blood is related to anything about what you’re feeling, considering the strong underlying sense that you need to be like your mother for no reason! You do not actually need to agree with what you were taught. And you actively try as you mentioned, to learn new things and be better. “Nobody believes in me”, Of course nobody believes you, because you yourself don’t have a strong sense of yourself enough to separate yourself from what your mother is, and feel like you will just be like your mother. It is unfair, that is how it is because others around you will only observe what you show them. And if you behave in a manner that is attached to your mother so deeply that you feel nobody knows you, and that you worry you only think you’re like your mother, I mean what do you think it shows and reflects of you on the outside? People who are responsible for you should do better in recognising this, but it’s a reality isn’t it, that it’s tough what you’re going through and it surely doesn’t seem to be changing. But you recognising it is definitely right, and I wish you the best on what you’re going through, I just wanted to comment cuz it kind of related to me in my past as well.