Hey, have you considered that the feeling that you don’t deserve anything good was taught to you? Considering and I mean connecting the dots here from how you feel bound to your mother, that she potentially taught you that? And realistically, how does one single person have a say in your entire sense of self, present and future? I don’t see how genes and blood is related to anything about what you’re feeling, considering the strong underlying sense that you need to be like your mother for no reason! You do not actually need to agree with what you were taught. And you actively try as you mentioned, to learn new things and be better. “Nobody believes in me”, Of course nobody believes you, because you yourself don’t have a strong sense of yourself enough to separate yourself from what your mother is, and feel like you will just be like your mother. It is unfair, that is how it is because others around you will only observe what you show them. And if you behave in a manner that is attached to your mother so deeply that you feel nobody knows you, and that you worry you only think you’re like your mother, I mean what do you think it shows and reflects of you on the outside? People who are responsible for you should do better in recognising this, but it’s a reality isn’t it, that it’s tough what you’re going through and it surely doesn’t seem to be changing. But you recognising it is definitely right, and I wish you the best on what you’re going through, I just wanted to comment cuz it kind of related to me in my past as well.

Thank you for the insight

Cut those people the f*** out of your life. You’ll make new friends (and family) when you get to where you’re going, but you’ll never get there if you stay in the same place (with the same community, influences, and relationships). Make better friends. Aim to be surrounded by people you look up to.

Don't listen to people who try to be discouraging. People who are too scared to try things themselves will try to keep you from succeeding.

I know you are young, but many abusive spouses behave this way. They think that if they convince a girl that she is worthless or incapable of doing anything right, she will never get brave enough to leave them.

I am a mother and my daughter is 18. When she was your age we had a real hard time. She was really rebellious and was doing really dangerous things. It worried me and I was constantly triggered because she was also extremely anorexic from the ages of 13-15. I have a lot of ptsd caused by that time period for us. I made a lot of mistakes during that time that probably made her worse. Like telling her she “just needed to eat” when she was starving herself which is one of the absolute worst things you could say to a person with anorexia I later learned.

I try the best I can, but truth is parents have to learn a lot as we go. Parents are considered the “teachers” but tbh we learn more from you kids. We learn how to live with our hearts outside our bodies (that’s you our kids) and sometimes it’s really hard for us. Some of us are more graceful than others but I am a single mom and I work a lot so I’ve been guilty of having alot of worries in my head my kids don’t always know but probably feel.

Another story is I was driving in the storms a few weeks ago because I had to travel for work. It was a road trip with one of my girl friends of 25+ years. My mom called me on Bluetooth and started borderline yelling at me anxiously telling me not to go because she was concerned about me driving in the rain. I thanked her for guidance and told her I loved her and got off the phone. It was quiet for a minute. Then my friend sitting in passenger said to me “good job not listening to your mom all these years” we both started laughing.

Remember that even though you are a kid and your mothers child you have your own wisdom and truth. There’s alot of “noise” out there learn to tune it out. Sometimes that noise can taint us, make a practice of safeguarding and protecting your energy & your peace. This isn’t always comfortable but be ok with discomfort and you will grow! And you will change and adapt and be better!

Sometimes we need to create a boundary with people we love. Doesn’t mean they are bad just means it’s not for us and that’s ok.

Happy birthday dear! You’ll be alright :)

Hi, I'm sorry. You're struggling and I don't think a few words online would help. I'd seriously suggest finding a counselor to talk about these feelings if you can. However, having had these exact feelings, I can tell you a trick that worked for me. I am a firm believer in science and the scientific way. Scientific studies have shown that neuroplasticity is an undisputed fact. This means that at any age, your brain can and does change embedded habits- as long as you keep ignoring old (bad) habits and repeating the new (good) ones. This isn't an opinion, it is absolute fact. So when the voice in your brain or the miserable jerks in your life try to act like know it alls and pull you down, just remember - YOU ARE NEUROPLASTIC. Change is the only thing that is constant in the universe. Change is essential to all life forms. It's stagnation that is unnatural and leads to destruction. Go forward and shine your light, friend and may you get stronger and better every year.

“I feel out of place like there is no point in trying because I know I’ll never change and I’ll just end up where I started.”

Not with that attitude.

Start with the attitude. Then go for the surroundings.

If you are an actor on the stage, keep your spotlight on you. Focus is everything. And life is hard to change if you focus on too much.

Try to remember where your at is only temporary….you have a big , long life ahead of you kiddo-don’t give up ❤️

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