Life has been so good to me. Can always be better, but I had really almost forgotten that that was me too when I was fresh in university. Over 20 years ago. I went from top of my class to bottom, and dropped out, in one term. Life was just one big disillusionment, nothing made sense. I didn't want to be here. I didn't care about those who wanted to help. Things started changing when people close, who I looked up to, became friends. And I learned that people freaked out when you spend too much time around them and that I had to withdraw into my own world and things long before that could even start happening, got to leave them with a sense of curiosity, admiration wanting more. Like they do for you. Only very rarely do you meet soul mates who you really never can get too much of... And oh does it hurt when you thought that that's what it was, but it wasn't. In those times I also started a diary. Sometimes I got stuck in the echo chamber of my mind, that only other people could get me out. Other times I got to know myself. I wrote anything and everything I dreamt of, thought, wondered about, all the impossible things I thought weren't meant for me. One of the most surprising feelings in life is discovering those entries you forgot about, and realized that you had done all of that, without even thinking or knowing about it at the time. Life is mysterious and magical. Every moment a grace. It's clear to me now that nobody is better off or worse off, it's just how we feel about our current situation, and that's the hardest thing to see, accept and change. And just time is not enough.