I can absolutely relate. There are days where I can barely summon the strength to roll out of bed let alone go to work to provide for myself and play the part of an upstanding citizen. But sometimes just doing the bare minimum to get by is more than enough. You can’t commit more energy into your life than what is available to you in the moment. A lot of times I’ve found that being hard on myself for feeling down and out having my feelings of futility brew into an existential crises is what really drains me to the point of wanting to give up. You’re not a failure for feeling powerless. You need to count even the smallest of efforts you make towards your life, social, professional, merely brushing your teeth and taking care of yourself, as personal victories. Not because they are great, but because of the great effort it took for you to carry them out. It will get better, with time and patience with yourself. Not everyone understands how strong you need to be to live with severe depression. But you can learn to live with it.