I would see a therapist first and Formost.

Second. Yeah it all ends but it's hardly meaningless. The smile you gave to a random stranger might have made their day. You gotta live for things. The next sunrise. The next dog you pet. The new movies or shows coming out. The smile when you hug someone. Life is a deeply personal experience. A journey with good and bad all thrown in together. But that's what makes it exciting. Every day might be different. Bet if you try you cab find one thing at least different from today and Tomorrow. Doesn't have to be you just yet. Look around! The world is alive and breathing. You are a legacy of everyone that came before you and will have a legacy that will outlive you. Even if you haven't found or made it yet, there is still time. You have your whole life after all. But you have to keep pushing forward. One thing. If you don't like the way your life is going change something. No matter how small. It' could be turning a rock over. You got this :D