I read your post and I instantly related to that feeling. I have cancer. It’s stage 4. The only thing I can do is bide my time and hope the medicine I’m taking keeps it shut down. It won’t. I have 5 medicines I can go through until there are no more treatments. I’m on my second. There are only 3 more to go. Other, than a daily pill my life is completely normal. So, go to the store, go to work, come home I look like anyone else. I just have the weight that at any second I could be gone. Maybe a weeks notice. Maybe not.

I’m literally living your fear. I gotta say it’s not as bad as you think it’s going to be. I still learn new things, I still do new things. I still plan for the future (with in reason). I have to say though for a while it was very difficult to push myself to do anything that I didn’t want to do. Study for boards? Nah. Clean the house, nope. You have the idea. Life is precious and fleeting. Why would I spend one second doing something I don’t want to do?

Life when looked at from far enough out is meaningless. The only thing that gives my life meaning is my experience my perception. I probably won’t make a big impact on the human race. But I can make a huge positive impact on a few humans. And as my time runs out that’s what I try to do. Tomorrow is coming. I have no idea what it will contain, I want to reach it prepared to live.

And I echo something that’s already been said. Go to your university’s mental health clinic. Meaninglessness is a sign of depression, losing interest in things you used to enjoy is another. I know you’re not suicidal, but not everyone who is depressed is. Wouldn’t it be a bitch to find out that happy existence has always been just a pill a day away from where you are now? Wouldn’t it be a bigger bitch to never find out? Go see someone.