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thegreatestpitt t1_ir1afgl wrote

My dudes, I think the sentiment refers to people that for whatever reason feel behind their peers in life, or ahead of them in an awkward way. For example. A guy that had to drop out of college because he was suicidal and really needed to take care of his mental health for a few years, and by the time he starts college again, all his friends are graduating, so he feels left behind, or maybe a a gifted kid who feels isolated because he’s in college at 14 or something and he doesn’t really feel like he can make friends with the 18 year olds, or maybe someone who had to leave school to support their family and now will have to wait for years for the chance to go back to study (idk why all my examples were about school but you get what I mean). The message of the post isn’t to lay about doing nothing while watching life go by. It’s about being kind to yourself if the circumstances of your life placed you outside the status quo and the “must be”.

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fAppstore t1_ir304m3 wrote

You will see words getting twisted in the comments of pretty much every post in this subreddit to fit a cynical view of said post. It's sad to see that some commenters here are never trying to understand the point of a message, only saying "well in case x it doesn't work so it's dumb", like if you're not trying to get motivated why are you in the getMotivated subreddit

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Bob8644 t1_ir457o5 wrote

That's just the theme of Reddit isn't it?

" BUT WHAT IF THOUGH???? "

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ZenKB t1_ir4z4b2 wrote

*the whole fuckin internet

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lemon31314 t1_ir5az4f wrote

In most cases the feeling of being left behind is valid and reasonable. We should instead encourage people to learn to process negative emotions rather than run away from them by convincing ourselves you “shouldnt” feel a certain way.

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nokinship t1_ir41drb wrote

For me it's I did everything right and got fucked. Then mental health issues started because I could never get the full time job which got me in a hole that's impossible to get out.

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bvogel7475 t1_ir42y7w wrote

I hear you. Been battling bipolar disorder for 35 years. Worked my ass off and have had a pretty good life. Now I have lung cancer and I never even smoked. I am only 56 as well.

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blackluster26 t1_isw8aqc wrote

Another example would be me I guess, have 2 cousins who are rich now (one is younger than me) and a classmate back in college who is also rich now. I was like "Nice, good for you". It never crossed my mind that "why I am in this state or I should be like them by this time as well etc." Even with my parents/relatives keep comparing me to them.

My problem has always been a clear goal, getting motivated is not a problem for me which I recently discovered. Example, study some stuff for work to make it simple, fast and efficient (which I don't need to but somehow motivated to do so out of my own will or I'm just lazy to do the long method that my co-workers do). I'm still trying to figure out whatever that goal is.

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siler7 t1_ir5ar5v wrote

OP: X

Comment: What OP really meant was "X plus a bunch of other stuff, aimed at a particular audience", so that's what you have to respond to, as if OP had actually said that.

I see this so many times, and I do not understand why people are so quick to defend vague, useless bullshit.

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TLPF t1_ir1j0t9 wrote

Thanks, i really needed this.

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redditcreditcardz t1_ir1q5nq wrote

This was my biggest problem growing up. I always felt so far behind in life. So much so that I had given up on achieving the “right” path. Find what interests you!! If there is absolutely no money in it that’s ok. You can hustle to pay for your dreams. Money is a necessity, in most cases, to achieve your goals not the goal itself. If you chase money, you will never be happy. Chase what makes you happy and fulfilled. Also just be a good human. That will always take you far in life 💛

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JesterRaiin t1_ir1jerg wrote

> What's early?

Having kids.

> What's late?

Having kids.

> Compared to who?

To yourself.

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PostHumouslyObscure t1_ir4lpy4 wrote

The woman's womb would have to disagree with you. Like I said, you can wait, but would it be better for the kids health to have him at a younger age which has less probably of something going wrong?

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lostharbor t1_ir59kxp wrote

I’ve seen this argument on fake “health gurus” in regards to geriatric pregnancy being a fear tactic. It’s truly sickening the misinformation they will spew these days. Are you 100% going to have health problems if you have later - no, but the odds are a lot higher and why risk it.

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lemon31314 t1_ir5b5zw wrote

Because you don’t have to have kids. If your situation is less than ideal, don’t do it like you wouldn’t put yourself in debt flying in a private jet around the world.

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cookiesmsher t1_ir5mbya wrote

This comment doesn't even make sense given the topic is about the dangers of having children later in life. If you aren't having children, the conversation is a none starter.

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bvogel7475 t1_ir42qcm wrote

It’s still hard to watch friends of mine inherit millions while I had to go in to debt to put my kids through college. Try working hard and balancing family and finances with a serious mental disorder.

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ace400 t1_ir13cu1 wrote

I dont agree to that sentiment always... dont compare yourseöf always to others, but try to be the best you can without needles stressing yourself. Dont get into the semtiment that you have enough time to do everything and do nothing now.

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Rajat2757 t1_ir2akip wrote

Needed to hear this I've been struggling to get a job it's taking a toll. Thanks for this.

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SpaceLemming t1_ir29nm1 wrote

“All you really gotta do is live and die, I’m in a hurry and don’t know why”

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egoVirus t1_ir2v9ux wrote

As a teacher, I absolutely feel this, and proselytise this. We are not clocks.

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Tyalou t1_ir1rf9m wrote

If you don't pull that gatcha banner now, it's literally losing you money! I really feel that our society has weaponized FOMO more than ever.

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Jephta t1_ir2eqta wrote

Tell this to women who keep stubbornly insisting that there's such a thing as "too late" to have kids. Tell this to the 80 year old man who still wants to fulfill his dream of climbing Mt Killamanjaro. Don't be so limited by physiology!

If you miss chances, that's on you and you should hold yourself accountable. So start living today instead of relying on always having a responsibility-alleviating bullshit excuse like this.

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D_Winds t1_ir3fs3z wrote

This is what I tell my boss when I miss the bus.

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ExoticWeapon t1_ir4wn7m wrote

Comparison is the thief of joy.

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Keusian4509 t1_ir246kj wrote

purely thankful to hear it ..

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Cash907 t1_ir42zp3 wrote

I mean I’d like to hit some life goals before I’m 60. Compared to who? Try compared to what: a GD finite existence. There’s a ticking clock on all of this, thanks.

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EvilSpock1 t1_ir4gqcy wrote

Thanks, I needed to see this.

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sylsau t1_ir4hdem wrote

You are unique. You are therefore different from others. And this is your greatest strength to succeed in life!

So you must stop comparing yourself to others. You will achieve your success at your own pace.

Patience, motivation and hard work will make the difference. Everything will happen when it is supposed to happen to you.

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ChessieJackson t1_isf6lgg wrote

This is 1000% bullshit, at least in my life.

Patience, motivation, and hard work has got me shit all over and got me crazy.

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MarionberryThin7556 t1_ir4xtma wrote

keep reminding myself of these things as I study in college its taken me on and off seven years to finish my associates (im 24) but i still plan to move on to my bachelors. I use to be insecure by it but i realized by the time im 30 i will have the same degree as most people like the end product is the same so who cares how long it takes its better earlier than later!

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acmesalvage t1_ir6rbg0 wrote

“A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.”

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lesliemcdermid t1_ir889ap wrote

Yes! This is so good!! I love the 7 billion people can't do everything in the same order.

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enduring_student t1_irdirxm wrote

Thank you SO MUCH. This is precisely what I needed to hear.

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mathaiser t1_ir239iq wrote

Yeah, well, there are some people who certainly get there faster. And falling off that track… there’s no way to get back on it. Just delayed.

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noslippin2nite t1_ir3cr5c wrote

This is not a motivating post.

This is a post excusing, congratulating and promoting stagnation.

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thethunder92 t1_ir3nwbw wrote

Sometimes I put my pants on and then my underwear

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superarts t1_ir3snr6 wrote

人无远虑 必有近忧

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SpicyTriangle t1_ir44nlu wrote

I dunno I feel like this is just saying don't bother being motivated. If your life schedule is to be without a job or a home and the ability to do what makes you happy shouldn't everyone do everything in their power to change their schedule to something more personally sustainable.

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PostHumouslyObscure t1_ir4lhep wrote

I think the only thing that does have a time limit is women having kids. You can do it at 40 and above, but should you do it? Are you willing to wager the health of a child to have kids later?

Only thing I can think of right now that has a time limit.

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AdNew1234 t1_ir4sulp wrote

We all take different paths. For me it is just a little difficult. I had a plan when I was younger: to become a social worked and have a stop motion company on the side. After that I desided to become a captain on a boat and do snorkaling tours with tourists. This did not work out but I was still making animations. I worked my ass of to earn money at a tourist oriented job and I saved up to move back to my home country, this took so long because my parents demanded me pay a big sum of money for rent. They did this to keep me from moving. My parents wanted to start a boat company like my 2e idea was. They kept me on a line that that might happen and they slowly made steps to made it happen but in the end they did not and it started to piss me off and coused them arguing because they could not agree on anything. I wish they lended me money so I could start a small company for myself, but I desided to move to my home country with my bf and try college again. I studied mediadesign and I was supposed to be done when I was 27, but the pandemic was very hard for me and I desided in 2021/2022 to go for my BA in Communication. I stopped making stop motion animations, during my mediadesign degree I tried out many digital skills like editing, 2d animation, 3d animation, writing articles, film, photograpy, illustrating and some more. Now in Communication I focus more on the way and advice stide of things. I do still kind of feel like I want to write about fantasy and art or paint miniatures as commissions in the future.

It is hard because I already wanted to have a job and start considering kids. The pandemic thought me that a lot of unexpected things can happen. Jobs are not easy. Kids take a lot of time and cost too much space and money, I will not be able to buy a house with my student loan debt. So I need to adjust my expectations and plans. It makes me really sad I probably will not have kids. Other then that I have a loving bf and live in a nice rental apartment just living our lives...

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Hey_captain t1_ir4tsur wrote

Yeah well not really…we do have a limited time on earth and if you’re wasting it being lazy and procrastinating or doing stuff that doesn’t make you happy and fulfilled, there is no getting it back. Sorry but that’s the reality.

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grandpapotato t1_ir4yc84 wrote

Stop comparing. You do you. Most probably you are average (we have to be..) and will have a regular common career. Its fine if you do something you like. We get one ride. Enjoy it.

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TonyVegeta t1_ir50eqt wrote

Well some things do have a time limit. Having children in your fourties is a high risk thing. But overall I mostly agree.

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GothCatButt t1_ir522c1 wrote

As someone who’s family makes them feel bad about not having their license yet at 23.. i needed this. Thank you

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KiT_KaT5 t1_ir528ex wrote

"To compare yourself to others, is to insult yourself"

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ZachMartin t1_ir52kwl wrote

Compared to whoM. Thank you for coming to my grammar report.

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Te4646 t1_ir53c1d wrote

Unless you didn’t buy a house in the last 5 years then you are truly behind

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cavegoblins75 t1_ir54eho wrote

And one should be aware that having a different path gives you more perspective

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Nouseriously t1_ir55362 wrote

I can’t stop myself from comparing what I’ve done with what I could’ve done by now.

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fishcrow t1_ir58sim wrote

Comparison is the thief of joy

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cookiesmsher t1_ir5lxub wrote

This is a great take. It can become very daunting when you live in a very successful community and you feel left behind. This can be especially prevalent when you have a society that thrives on showing off; that person could be in severe debt, but looks like they are living the dream.

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whangdoodle13 t1_ir37699 wrote

This sounds good, wish I could believe it.

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CapitalParallax t1_ir4xoqw wrote

"Motivational" shit on the internet is so often just acceptance of mediocrity.

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r0ndy t1_ir189ft wrote

Horse shit. It's called preparing for retirement. Aging out of jobs. Losing friend circles that mature at different rates. A thousand things. This post is toxic.

You HAVE to make an effort. If you just "wait till it's your time", you're throwing your life away on the chance of a lottery ticket to life. It just doesn't happen like that

Edit: and just a fucked up example. Kids don't need to have babies, there ARE timelines worth following.

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[deleted] t1_ir28qoy wrote

[deleted]

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Smarterthanlastweek t1_ir2rsnm wrote

> AT BEST completely broke within 3 years of retirement unless I almost double my expected wages.

Or just never retire.

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hotmaildotcom1 t1_ir2tav8 wrote

It's the only option.

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Smarterthanlastweek t1_ir2u1nb wrote

I've accepted I never will. My plan is after I'm old enough to get medicare, and am more likely to get fired due to old age in many jobs, I can switch over to contract work, which cost employers less and still be employable. Maybe even buy a winnebago and travel around a bit to different jobs.

If I get so I can't work then disability.

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cryptoripto123 t1_ir3dgka wrote

> Financial projections from my manager show I will be AT BEST completely broke within 3 years of retirement

Yeah then your financial plan is a failure. Make more so you can save more. If you can only save enough to survive for 3 years that's an absolute failure. You're not even 30 as you said, so you have at minimum 30 more years of working, and that's the best you can do? Or your projections are totally off.

Just so you know, $20 / month translates into $70-$80k in 40 years. Even after inflation that should be $30k or so in today's dollars.

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cryptoripto123 t1_ir3dyv5 wrote

Reddit is next to terrible in terms of financial planning. Most people here will sit here and make excuses forever about how they can't afford to save. Even $20 / month ($9600 gross in 40 years) turns into $77k or so after 40 years of compound growth. It's sad most people don't realize how important this is in the face of inflation.

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reddituser5379 t1_ir0gv82 wrote

Yeah this is absolutely shite. There is a time table on MANY things in life. Go get it, stop waiting around for things to happen.

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100LittleButterflies t1_ir0rcvx wrote

I spent my 20s on my mental health. Now I'm only just working on a house, marriage, kids. I may look like I'm behind but I'm the only calm head when something bad happens.

We all take different paths.

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reddituser5379 t1_ir0vtd2 wrote

Im glad it worked out for you. I followed a similar path, marriage, house, kids all came later for me than my friends. But you and I both know, Kids for instance have a timetable, cant wait forever to have them. This messaging is fine and all for 20 somethings or younger but this starts to stop making sense when you are in your thirties. IMO of course, wish you the best.

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100LittleButterflies t1_ir11o85 wrote

That's a good point and something I noticed.

School aged people 100% have a timeline. For their school grade, physical, mental, social, and emotional ability. Missing mile markers is often cause for concern.

But in your 20s there so many different paths you can take but in your 30s some of those paths become harder to return from for simple biological reasons.

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Smarterthanlastweek t1_ir2rg5c wrote

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”

― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

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EldritchAnimation t1_ir1zmuv wrote

Contrary to the downvotes, this is a completely reasonable thing to say.

There aren't timetables on everything, but there are on some very important things.

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Random-Rambling t1_ir2dyig wrote

>There aren't timetables on everything, but there are on some very important things.

Nuance, in MY Reddit?

But yeah, people have a strong tendency to put things in "all" or "nothing" boxes.

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Smarterthanlastweek t1_ir2rmg1 wrote

If it doesn't hold true for the important stuff, why post it at all?

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Mayzerify t1_ir3yqr0 wrote

What's important?

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Smarterthanlastweek t1_ir52i6b wrote

Like other's have said, having children when you're not too old to help them. Have people around you who love and care about you is what makes a good life.

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maxheartcord t1_ir4rzj4 wrote

The time table is made up. It's a figment of the human imagination. There's nothing wrong with following a time table, but it's still is a function of our individual brains.

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Steve_Austin_OSI t1_ir1fxsd wrote

False. If you aren't on track to retire by 60, You are behind.
Stop excusing laziness.

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Tyalou t1_ir1rj9r wrote

What about retiring at 40? Keep up buddy.

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