This is also a great quote on the topic:

“All of our lives are too unique to copy the path of someone else. To bring meaning into your life, to bring value into your life, you need to learn and master yourself.”—Master Shi Heng Yi

Not understanding (mastering) yourself could be another reason why so many can’t be themselves—they just don’t know what/who that is.

I’ll also add that bullying is a bitch and toxic environments can burn even the brightest stars out

That’s definitely true

That reminds me of an illustration called “The Thinker of Tender Thoughts”

If you give it a google search I’m sure you’ll think so too!

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I think a big part of it is abuse in one form or another. Many of us have been told from a young age that we are not good enough. I think a big part of staying motivated and mentally healthy is having a supportive or at least healthy work/family/and social environment.

Some get stuck in a cycle of always having to "pull them selves up by the boot straps"... but it's for life. If our childhood families don't demonstrate healthy socialization, if we become a favorite person for ridicule in young social settings... overcoming that and building healthy relationships can be very difficult later in life. So some of these people are more isolated and having to go through life mostly alone while also dealing with the additional burdens of not being able to laugh off bullies or say no when we really should.

I think you make an extremely important point

A lot of hardship early on can beat down on our confidence too hard and so we never feel comfortable enough with the vulnerability that comes with expressing yourself

Thanks for that

Try being a black sheep dressed in white sheep wool trying to not be fed to the meat grinder.

A lot of times, "the world" encourages young people to "be themselves" and then when they try to be themselves, the world says, "no, not like that."

Damn that’s so true

Have definitely witnessed that first hand going through university

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I had a time where I was myself all the time which turned into a form of narcissism. Hurt people I didnt want to even though I was a good guy in my own words and actions. Didnt really understand people anymore. Didnt respect them either even if I said so. I'm not saying that you should always listen to others opinions, but its healthy to check how others react to your behaviour once in a while.

It's a eye-opening, life-altering topic. I see it as wearing a mask. We are fake to strangers all day, then come home and let our true selves out in a terrible way to the ones we love. Weird, huh? This has been a long journey for me. But I think it's something we all struggle with because it is part of a theory called Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. It's a pyramid of basic human needs, or what all humans need to survive. This topic nearly spans all sections, and goes high in the chart. We need to feel like we are "normal" or fit in. We want a good reputation to be able to fit in and have ppl like us and have a lot of friends or following. (Especially as "like-culture" grows). Even in self-actualization- we want to have good morals as according to other people's morals. My favorite quote is "When you give yourself permission to be yourself, you allow others to be themselves". unknown.