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TreatThompson OP t1_ir5zbaw wrote

It makes me think of this quote too:

“Man surprises me most about humanity. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the results being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”—Daila Lama

We can get so frantic about living that we forget to live.


ResidentAssumption4 t1_ir6e5f6 wrote

The best thing you can do is find a companion that isn’t addicted to the corporate rat race. Someone you can live in the moment with. You might never change how you’re feeling, but you will feel a lot better about your current situation.

Also delete FB and Instagram that shit is poison. Don’t compare yourself to anyone. Compare yourself now to yourself last year. Make your goals for yourself next year based on yourself today.


isaaclowman t1_ir6ra6b wrote

Comparison can be the killer of joy, all social media sucks for that.


ShongoMcForren t1_ir828bq wrote

Yeah it’s funny how people throw around the term “influencer” as like a job title, like a doctor, and look up to them like role models. It’s hard to believe that so many don’t understand that’s exactly what they’re paid to do: Influence you into believing their life is better, so you should buy this to make your life as good as mine. And be sure to follow me for more ad- I mean content. It’s so obviously predatory, but because it’s popular and has 3 million likes, you’d be outcasted to think otherwise. Pretty ingenious of them tbh


TreatThompson OP t1_ir6fhug wrote

Finding a companion like that is an understated point to make

Definitely needs to be emphasized more


jeIIy_badger t1_ir8dqgq wrote

DELETE YOUR FUCKING INSTAGRAM. Sorry for the abrasiveness but this post is so relevant for me right now. 28 y/o guy trying to get it all at once. I deleted my Instagram and Facebook last week and my anxiety has dropped a lot. I didn’t even realize how much it was affecting me.


AliBarberTheSecond t1_ir7be1m wrote

That quote is incorrectly attributed to the Dalai Lama when it was actually by Albert Schweitzer.


TreatThompson OP t1_ir7bo83 wrote

Thanks for that! 🙌

Do you know of a source to confirm it?

Just want to update my notes with the real source


AliBarberTheSecond t1_ir7cnnl wrote

Of course now that I've claimed that, I can't find the source to the quote. In any case, it's most definitely not a Dalai Lama quote


TreatThompson OP t1_ir7dlf5 wrote

Haha no worries! I’ll try to dig it up

Thanks for letting me know


PM-your-noodz t1_ir6756q wrote

As an older dude who thought the same thing many moons ago, Billy Joel is correct.

Relax, enjoy every stage of life. Your twenties is about enjoying the moment, gaining experience and setting up your future.

No need to win the race at this stage, just make sure you do t lose it this early.

So slow down, enjoy the moment, relish each experience and set yourself on the path to where you want. (It's the trip which is important, not the destination as some would say).


Wooden_Health_7129 t1_ir68se6 wrote

What are your thirties about?


REALLYagressiveMold t1_ir6cegj wrote

Gaining wisdom and life experience, that you then use to tweak your course appropriately in your career and otherwise. I'm in that change course phase, I know I need it, just having trouble figuring out the mechanics


PM-your-noodz t1_ir6bm48 wrote

For me they were making a success of my career. Still not where I wanted to be, but getting that experience was crucial.

And having a child and watching him grow up was THE ultimate rush in my thirties. It showed me that it's not all about me.

You'll experience in some form or another tough times. Good times. Memorable times and tiles you'd like to forget.

Again it's about living the moment. And focusing on being happy where you are. I didn't do that for far too long, and probably missed out on a lot of good times because of it.


ah-tow-wah t1_ir8fdrv wrote

And here I thought you were going say your 30s were all about noodz.


bloodyyuno t1_ir7ss1e wrote

Your thirties are about finding comfort in stability and beginning to truly discover what your specific body needs to be at its best. You slow down, take more time to relax and enjoy the world around you.


sunshinecygnet t1_ir7v9fa wrote

Finally starting to accumulate the basics in life that eluded you in your 20s. I spent my early thirties paying off my debts and then finally having a savings account. This summer I bought a really nice mobile home (not like anyone can afford a house right now…)

Also, patience. I stopped wanting to achieve instantaneously and started doing the small steps so I could achieve things eventually. I’ve achieved a lot more by doing this.


booglemouse t1_ir885q9 wrote

Absolutely this, and for me, finally beginning to live the life I couldn't in my twenties. I was so busy alternating between scrambling and zoning out, I hardly ever did anything for myself that was really memorable. I was stuck in a loop, work and exhaustion, rarely making time for anything else. Now I have a supportive partner, a greater priority on deliberately making memories, and just enough extra money to not feel guilty trying a new restaurant every week or two.

I have gotten so much more out of the last two years than I did in the five years before that, because I'm deliberately choosing to do things like go for a lil Saturday morning walk instead of scrolling endlessly in a duvet. In my twenties I didn't even realize how much time I was letting slip away.


TreatThompson OP t1_ir67o91 wrote

Wow that’s a great insight “just make sure you don’t lose it this early”

Guess it’s important to have direction, but you don’t have to get there as soon as possible

Do you think that frantic feeling something that every generation feels early on? Or do you think it’s particularly unique to today?

My gut tells me there are no new issues, and each generation goes through the same things


PM-your-noodz t1_ir68zfp wrote

I think that every generation has felt this. The big difference for me is that in the past we compared ourselves to our friends. Our communities. A few exceptional people made the news, but essentially that was it.

Nowadays you can compare yourself to hundreds of people you've never met. And this goes for all generations today. LinkedIn compares our careers. Tinder our potential partners. Facebook anyone and everyone. And you only see the sides that people want you to see. So it's easy to believe that everyone is ahead of you.

I had a teacher that reminded me often that even presidents have to poop. So focus on yourself and let the rest go.

If you can do that, it's half the job done.


TreatThompson OP t1_ir6a0d5 wrote

Yeah that’s a great point

Now there’s an infinite source of comparison in the world. More than just “did you hear what x is doing”


HollyDams t1_ir68ogh wrote

Great insight indeed. But I feel the issue we all have nowadays is choosing a direction.
I mean, everything is changing so quickly that, the direction you take can make you bankrupt and become completely irrelevant by the time you master the things involved in that direction.
I can’t say every generations have lived the same things because we’re the firsts generations to live through that incredibly fast evolution.
Our reptilian brain isn’t made for internet and the flow of information it comes with. And the societal and technological changes it brings with it.

And here I stand, lost in the middle of thousands of directions. I can’t choose one and stick to it since I can’t tell what will still be relevant in 1, 2, 5, 10 years. I’m talking about skills that allows to earn a living but I think this point of view is for every choices we have to make. Everything is going too fast and nobody can keep up the pace anymore.
At least, this is what I feel.


TreatThompson OP t1_ir69c6v wrote

That’s true there’s a lot of new interesting avenues that still haven’t been solidified as “safe” career paths or “safe” to invest a bunch of time into

I don’t even have an idea of an answer to offer—but I definitely feel that


UncomfortablyLucid96 t1_ir82br2 wrote

Freedom is both a blessing and curse, because you have the freedom to do anything, but what do you do?


TheKardia24 t1_ir7zfkx wrote

Yet I'm doing nothing in my twenties to set up my thirties. Which means my thirties will be just as miserable.


meta_ironic t1_ir65fbr wrote

Comparison is the thief of joy. People on social media always will be doing better than you, whether you are running, or not.

Set your own definition of succes. Not that of others.


TreatThompson OP t1_ir660qj wrote

Thanks for that! Great points. And comparison being the thief of joy couldn’t be any more true

At the end of the day it seems like it’s best to just go at your own pace and not feel rushed


Nordseefische t1_ir68qug wrote

Sitting in my flat in Vienna I assure you Vienna defenetly doesn't wait for me, mate. But it sure as hell gives me a good hangover from time to time.


Mentalfloss1 t1_ir67use wrote

NEVER compare yourself to others because way too many of us either overestimate the success and happiness of others or underestimate it. Either way provides false perspective.

Life is meant to be lived and we should strive to be happy and good. Many “successful” people are miserable and many we might deem to be failures are very happy in life. Treat yourself kindly. Forgive yourself your shortcomings and strive to learn from mistakes. And do not fall into the stupid generation stereotyping. Everyone, or even most, in any given generation are not alike. Within ever generation there’s wide diversity.

I’m an old guy and continually dream up new challenges, new things to learn, new plans. And I follow up with most. Put down the screens and go live life.


TreatThompson OP t1_ir69opk wrote

Thanks for sharing that wisdom! And I love the lifestyle you’ve mentioned at the end that you’ve adopted

That consistent tinkering and taking on new challenges definitely seems very fulfilling


Mentalfloss1 t1_ir69wgf wrote

Keep the mind and body alive!!! (I’ll be 77 in a few days.)


OutrageousRhubarb853 t1_ir6grzs wrote

I will say that burnout is a serious danger. I was immune to burnout, I was a bright shining star that could do anything and everything, I tore it up and achieved more than I could ever have expected. And then it happened, I started to struggle, but I could “push through this” because I’d done it before. But it ground me down, I didn’t see it until it was too late. One day I was sat on my bed crying for the smallest of things, my brain could not figure out the simplest of things and I was terrified. It’s two years later and I still not the person I was before. Maybe that’s a good thing.

Now I take my time, I am not (and never was) immune.

Look after yourselves, hopefully the journey is long.


bx995403 t1_ir6kzva wrote

Reading your comment makes me realize just how much this fits me at my current employer


OutrageousRhubarb853 t1_ir6lvhy wrote

My employer gave me so much support, I was out on full pay for a while and they have helped me get back in to my role.


TreatThompson OP t1_ir7849a wrote

Wow this is such a helpful comment

It really is one of those things that we just doubt and underestimate until it happens. One of those invisible diseases. Luckily people are starting to be more considerate about it. I’m sure before it was just expected to power through

Thanks for sharing that! 🙌


OutrageousRhubarb853 t1_ir94g08 wrote

Actually my boss was telling me to be careful, they mentioned my work ethic a few times. I wanted to power to my goals.

The best way to describe how it felt was like a big ball of rubber bands. The brain should’ve full of flexible connections so we can think and innovate and grow. My brain ended up like a big solid rubber ball. It takes a long time to do that, it takes just as long to untangle it change the way we work/live.


ValyrianJedi t1_ir69d9l wrote

There is honestly something to be said for both, and neither is right or wrong depending on what you really want and what your goals are...

I definitely haven't been of the "slow down and enjoy it" people. Most of my 20s when I wasn't in school I was working anywhere between 70 and 100 hour weeks, making every penny that I could, every connection that I could, and getting a side gig going on top of my time in the office. Definitely wouldn't say it was enjoyable, didn't get to see my wife nearly as much as I'd have liked, was perpetually sleep deprived and constantly had stress levels that were through the roof... I'm in my early 30s now though, and keeping up an insane pace in my 20s made it where now my 30s are significantly more enjoyable than they would have been otherwise. Have a nice house, lake house, get to take good vacations, have kids on the way and know we'll be able to take care if them, send them to good schools, etc. Plus my job situation in my 20s being brutal set it up to be great in my 30s onward, and all the driving myself crazy to get a side gig going then has it where now it's running super smoothly and I can make a good bit of money from it while just coasting...

So yeah, there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking things slow and at your own speed, but some goals and things you want can require that you don't. And sacrificing in the present can definitely be worth the future that it allows.


TreatThompson OP t1_ir6agc9 wrote

Wow thanks for that perspective

Seems like that frantic pace and grinding it out during your 20s is paying off now.

Would you do it the same way if you got sent back 10 years? Or would you take it easier having gone through it now?


Wowwowwowwaaw t1_ir6c9qx wrote

To counterbalance the previous comment: I had my children when I was in my twenties. Now that I'm in my forties I'm very glad I didn't spend all those years chasing a career, rebuilding a house,... as so many of my peers were doing. I'm glad I saw my children growing up and could always make time for them. So it really depends on what is important for you. However if you have a Big Dream, now is definitly the time to start taking steps towards that goal.


TreatThompson OP t1_ir6db3y wrote

Yeah the definitely makes sense too and is extremely valid

Guess at the end of the day it comes down to each individuals circumstances


ValyrianJedi t1_ir6dre4 wrote

It's hard to say with hindsight being 20/20 and all and survivor bias coming in to play. Knowing what I know now, that it did work out and end up being worth it, yeah I'd do things the same. If it was a matter of doing that today though, when I have more responsibilities and have kids on the way that I want to spend time with instead of being a workaholic, I can't say that I would make the same decision today. So I'm glad that I did it between 20 and 30 and would do it again, but can't say that I'd do it between 30 and 40.


TreatThompson OP t1_ir6fb8t wrote

Okay yeah that makes complete sense

Again thanks for that comment 🙌 Super helpful food for thought


TencilCatButt t1_ir6cv1t wrote

I am turning 28 soon and in a similar spot. 70 hour weeks for yearss. House almost paid off, homestead with some side income etc. finally looking to get a promotion as a “review” position vs the “preparer” positions ive always held. I hope i can relax a bit as I am experiencing burn out. I also splurged on some music/guitars etc recently and trying to remind myself to enjoy


ordinary_kittens t1_ir6enzj wrote

When I was younger, I had a parent that would go on about “serendipity” and how much the good things in life can sometimes be totally unplanned. As a young person, I hated the thought, I hated the idea of not being able to plan my life. You want to work hard and you want to know that your hard work will pay off, right?

But, the older I get, the more I see that hard work is not something that has a linear relationship with happiness, or even success. Yes, you don’t want to underprepare. But a lot of job interviews, or sales contracts, or work/business opportunities, come out of a combination of preparedness as well as totally out of the blue. It’s not enough to be the hardest working person with the most education/credentials/skilled hours under your belt. Sometimes it can come down to building a connection with someone you used to know in college. Sometimes you get a job because the job interviewer is really impressed with your stories about how you backpacked around Europe by yourself. Sometimes you win a business contract in part because you used to play golf with the CFO’s brother and he tells everyone that you’re awesome and smart.

It’s good to want to learn and build skills, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve come to realize there’s a limit to the success you can have with that approach. Being a balanced human being comes with its own share of opportunities not just to relax, but to meet interesting people you didn’t expect and to discover opportunities you didn’t think about previously.

And you can spend your whole life preparing for the wrong thing. People can end up planning for one type of life only to have a totally different life come their way, after the birth of a child, death of a spouse, unexpected marriage, unexpected opportunity…life can be unexpectedly wonderful or terrible.

If you want to work hard, work hard. But remember to be mindful of how much is out of your control…as the saying goes, we must have the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.


stepwax t1_ir6fj5t wrote

I made it to Vienna 4 years ago. The entire trip was amazing, except the fact that I had a lump I knew in my heart was cancer, so the entire trip I was inwardly congratulating myself on making it to Europe before my demise. The song crossed my mind many times on that vacation, and I still wonder if I had have lived with less stress and took more time for myself if I would have been able to prevent getting sick. No one knows, but I can tell you that now I live a far more balanced life. I want to make a success of myself, but not at my own expense. I take time for the things I like to do rather than working late, and I cut all the toxic people out of my life. I do regret not doing it sooner. Life is so much better without all the pressure I was putting on myself.


TreatThompson OP t1_ir6tc1y wrote

Wow I’m so sorry to hear that. Your perspective and insight is so valuable! That’s definitely going to resonate for me.

That’s a great piece of wisdom “I want to make a success of myself but not at my own expense”.

Thank you so much for sharing that, I’m going to hold on to this wisdom! 🙌


ashgallows t1_ir6ej2u wrote

it always makes me laugh when 21 yr olds freak out about not being some titan of industry with a marriage, a mortgage, and a family.

most people aren't even really adults until around 35. My observation anyway.


TreatThompson OP t1_ir6g49e wrote

Haha no you’re right, I can definitely acknowledge how silly it sounds when at that point you’ve barely been treading long in life

But I also in that moment, that’s all the experience you have, so it’s everything to you


ashgallows t1_ir6xg3z wrote

You're (probably) doing fine. Super young people that make it big usually pay a price. sort of like an olympic athlete. they train all day, everyday. And then at the end they're depressed because it's over.

meanwhile, plenty of people their age didn't get a medal, but lived lives they're quite happy with.

is the price worth it? it depends on you. But, I'd say for vast majority of people the answer is probably no.


WontFixMySwypeErrors t1_ir6at9w wrote

>I’m overwhelmed with the feeling to not spend any time leisurely. I feel guilty if I don’t spend most of my time building towards what I want.

But what you want is the ability to spend time leisurely. It's why we do everything. If you're already there, even for a bit, not taking the opportunity goes against your own ideal!

There's a balance... It's the child with a marshmallow experiment. Will the child eat the marshmallow now, or wait and get two marshmallows later? Eventually you have to eat some amount of marshmallows, or the experiment ends.

Taken to it's extreme, you can work all your life and retire with millions of dollars, and find that you squandered your youth and now have an old and broken body that can't enjoy the money.

Even if you had a billion dollars, you'd always be working toward something. Even if it was just spending time managing your employees, finances or charities. So there's always work. You have to blend the leisure, your actual goal, into the work time, the time that's spent getting to be able to enjoy leisure.

We all have a limited time here. Don't overspend it on the work side of the equation.


TreatThompson OP t1_ir6bgbw wrote

That’s definitely a good point if the goal is having the ability to take free time and leisure time

If you can already take it now, then you’re already “winning”


RSwordsman t1_ir6plcp wrote

Sorry if it has been commented already but I'm a big enough Billy fan to know the story behind the song "Vienna." He was (oddly enough) sitting at a café in Vienna when he noticed an old woman sweeping outside of a storefront, smiling and seeming as happy as can be. He must have gotten to thinking about the struggles she had in life before getting to this point, and evidently it all worked out alright for her. So the message of the song is that everything will eventually be okay.

It is one of his very best songs so I'm glad you have put so much thought into it. :D


TreatThompson OP t1_ir74hxq wrote

Yeah I read up on the history about the song—you’re spot on!

I believe he said to his dad “isn’t it sad that she has to work that type of job at her age”

His dad replied saying no it’s amazing she’s doing that. She’s doing her part in contributing to the community. It’s giving her meaning and a sense of belonging.

Which got Bill thinking, we really push elderly to the side and expect them to just sit back and not do anything, when it still counts as time on Earth

Thanks for sharing that!! The back story is amazing, and the meaning of the song is amazing! 🙌


ah-tow-wah t1_ir8fpt2 wrote

I'm also a huge Billy Joel fan and hearing him describe the part where she was contributing to her community at an elevated age literally changed my view on life and how I go about my life.


runningdreams t1_ir6ky29 wrote

My grandma once told me “your life begins at about 35. Everything up til then is just practice.”


emilyanne12345 t1_ir717gc wrote

This is amazing. You captured my recent feelings in this post, and seeing all the replies are so uplifting so thank you all for being honest and vulnerable enough to share. I’ve been leaning heavily on my religious beliefs to overcome these feelings, (my personal way of feeling better, not recommending this to anyone or looking to be criticized over it), but it’s refreshing and calming to know others feel the exact feelings I am, and feel rushed to “catch up” with others around us.


TreatThompson OP t1_ir72dxd wrote

Honestly i feel that exact same as you do!!

This comment section is great—so much compassion and wisdom


therealrubberduckie t1_ir74qui wrote

Movement does not equal progress. DOING doesn't always get anything done. Inversely, doing nothing also gets you nowhere. If you have big dreams, no one will fault you for busting your ass to make them a reality. However, work efficiency, be thoughtful and conscious of what you are doing. Is it important? Is it going to progress you toward your goals? If not, and you feel compelled to so something, make sure it's to your benefit. Even going to mountains for the weekend and not being "productive" can be productive none the less because you took the time to enjoy your life aloge the ride.


TreatThompson OP t1_ir77h5n wrote

That’s definitely true—amazing points

Can’t be faulted for wanting to bust your ass, but also need to remember that movements doesn’t equal progress


Klesea t1_ir6hll1 wrote

As someone who recently turned 30, I can deeply relate to feeling “behind” my friends who are homeowners and having babies, etc. I think the only thing I regret not taking care of in my 20s is my health. I know I still have time to turn a new leaf in my 30s, but it is exponentially more difficult than it was when I was 21. I stay beyond grateful I found my life partner in college and we are still together and married. If I have to work a little longer to become financially stable and become a mom, that’s okay!


RexManning1 t1_ir89fn3 wrote

I was far ahead of my friends and will retire in my 40s with nobody my age able to offer companionship, because they will all be working and taking care of their kids.

It’s all relative. The grass isn’t always greener.


TrenchardsRedemption t1_ir7o50c wrote

OK, think Values instead of Goals.

Once you've achieved a goal, there's a sense of accomplishment, but followed by a sense of been there, done that. How you you top climbing Mt. Everest? You could find another goal, then another and another, but what do you do when you've run out?

"I'm gonna clean this house" is a goal. But that house will just get dirty again, so why bother? "I like a clean house" is a value. It motivates you to clean when you have a chance without worrying about it getting dirty again.

"I'm gonna travel to London" is a goal. But in your single-minded determination to get there, what else have you done? What are you going to do when you get there?

"I like to travel" is a value. Get out, explore look around, learn ways to appreciate what you're doing, learn about what you like about visiting new places, whether it be the art, the history or the food. One day, you'll get to London with the ability to appreciate where you are and have a far richer experience because of it.

"I'm gonna get my degree" is a goal too. How about instead "I really value education and want to expand and share my knowledge of X topic"?

Goals are fine , but don't make your entire existence into the pursuit of one goal after another. Turn your goals into values and life will feel more fulfilling and won't feel as rushed.


TreatThompson OP t1_ir7oqo9 wrote

I loveeeee that concept

I think James Clear talks about something similar with habits. He called them “identity based habits”

So instead of saying “I want to lose 10 pounds” you say “I want to be someone who’s healthy”

Thanks for sharing that! Definitely great to keep in mind


mrhaluko23 t1_ir8gwwc wrote

Why the fuck did the moderators remove this?


TreatThompson OP t1_ir8i57p wrote

Wow that is super disappointing, was really getting into all the great comments

Saw your comment notification and quickly opened the app to see this :(


mrhaluko23 t1_ir8jojd wrote

Probably because it wasn't a tip or something stupid smh.

People engaging in discussion isn't somehow connected or relevant? I found this particular post really thought provoking.


TreatThompson OP t1_ir8k3wo wrote

Honestly, needed to be more hustle-y I guess :/

Glad you found it thought-provoking at least🙌

Hopefully we can get a good discussion going in a future post


SEND_PUNS_PLZ t1_ir6ag38 wrote

Just don’t think about it so hard


irvingstark t1_ir6d02t wrote

It means nothing to me ahhh...


David_Umstattd t1_ir6e74u wrote

The quickest way to depression is living life to try to make YOURSELF happy.


millscuzimhot t1_ir6jskg wrote

while i completely agree with everything said above, i will still continue on the path of trying to do as much as i can in 10

my 20s are where anyone has their most energy, so if i work hard enough, i can enjoy the rest of my decades in peace


hermaddness t1_ir6kq1o wrote

I'm 25, so I'm right there with you. I feel that desire to be all I can be immediately, especially when I compare myself to my friends. Many of them have high paying jobs, live on their own, some are engaged already. I have to wait for those things because I have to go to school again (minimum 3 years more). 2 years on top of that to get the licensure for the job I want. And then Lord knows how long before I can get the private practice of my dreams. I might not be 40 until I have the same stability that my friends have now. But I'll get to my dream. My mom said one day "the time will pass either way, you might as well make those years how you want them." Vienna waits for us. They say youth is wasted on the young, I think they're right. We forget to stop and enjoy ourselves sometimes.


autumn_leaves0 t1_ir6ljtc wrote

If life is always changing, then youre living right. But if you stop going with the changes thats when you fail.


yardgnomefriend t1_ir6o325 wrote

So weird, I was listening to this song when I read this post.

I'm in my 40s, and at this point I feel more that life is just meant to be lived. Achievements are part of that, but they aren't all of it. I try to take a little from each day. Moments of connection, moments of meaning. I do the things I need to do because they make my life better and the lives of the people I love better. Better can be a tricky concept, always just out of reach, but there is also joy in making life more comfortable, fun, pleasant.

Achievements are fun. Making the world a bit better is satisfying. But your life is for you, and it waits. It will wait for whatever amount of time you are blessed with.


TreatThompson OP t1_ir7y5qs wrote

Haha what a coincidence!!

Thanks for sharing that wisdom. And that last chunk is particularly sticking with me: Your life is for you and it waits


Cronerburger t1_ir6ol6s wrote

Vienna Sausages? They dont wait for noone you snoose you loose too yummy to left un opened


----iwishamfwould t1_ir6s9iw wrote

Child of vision by supertramp

I feel like you would dig this song op and the album


TreatThompson OP t1_ir7yjci wrote

Dude wow what a good song

I saw 7 minutes and got overwhelmed, but it’s actually so well done

It packs those lyrics in in a minute, and then you’ve got the perfect sound for like 5 more minutes to reflect on what you just heard

Thanks for the recommendation! 🙏

Def going to check out the rest of the album now


ImplementTheFunk t1_ir6sybt wrote

It’s important to remember that social media is an idealised portrayal of one’s self. No one is posting their struggles and day to day shortcomings online, they’re posting a romantic depiction of their own lives


theenglishsisters t1_ir7321o wrote

The curious thing about slowing down and living in the present is that time expands and surprisingly you will find that you are Vienna. Smiles from The English Sisters ❤️❤️


maestro-tomas t1_ir7417y wrote

Blah! So many self hatred posts. You can't learn to drive in a parked car. You know you want it - so just start your journey and hate you less step by step every day. Not an overnight solution. Trust you can achieve it if you wanna be your ally you gonna spend lots of time with together


TreatThompson OP t1_ir75355 wrote

Didn’t want it to come off as self-hatred at all! I’m confident in my path in life

Was really just curious about people’s thoughts on the two different philosophies, and then I used my personal thoughts/emotions as a background to that question

But I definitely agree with you, just being in motion and figuring things out along the way is important! Thanks for sharing that🙌


maestro-tomas t1_ir790lk wrote

Thanks 👍 but there will be people who lag behind, due to past traumas and serious issues that cannot be fixed. They should use hermit crab metaphor to navigate: hermit crabs survive on a sand, on a bay. One side is washed by waves of the ocean, and other side beyond is scorched by sun. Don't let the waves to drag you down to the point of no return, and better not go too far to the hot lands, dry on the sun and let predators eat you. Find your shore, your sandy bay and keep surviving!


fukitol- t1_ir76dv7 wrote

Similar in message, also conveniently in song lyrics:

I'm in a hurry to get things done

Oh I'm.. rushin' rushin' 'til life's no fun

All I really gotta do is live and die

But I'm in a hurry, and don't know why


TreatThompson OP t1_ir774wp wrote

Haven’t heard that one before but I like it!! Definitely a similar tone


fukitol- t1_ir7a1mv wrote

If you wanna hear the whole song, it's pretty good: link


TreatThompson OP t1_ir7nuks wrote

Thanks! Listening right now; I’ve never heard of Alabama before


fukitol- t1_ir7pq3t wrote

Enjoy some 30 year old country music. If you like it, that was the golden age of American country music, there's probably plenty more you'd like.


[deleted] t1_ir785dk wrote

Hurry slowly


TreatThompson OP t1_ir7nxg3 wrote


Gonna have to chew on that one for a little


[deleted] t1_ir79ria wrote

Yeah. You are young now. When you get old you don't have the energy nor do people really want to live the same type of life. So it's important to burn those years well.


GelflingThings t1_ir7ept3 wrote

I'll be 37 this year and up until I was about 25 I punished myself about how I should be much "farther along in life" than what I was. I thought by then I should of been married, had kids, found a desk job- basically what was expected of a woman (also because this is what my mum and sister did) I'm so glad I didn't go the expected route. Looking back I've done some great things. Went to Africa solo when I was 18 to work (unpaid)on a safari lodge, studied game design, volunteer reptile zookeeper for 5 years, worked for too long in hospitality, married at 30, had my second child 6 months ago and I'm planning to start my own small business in about 2 years. I mean, financially I'm poor af but I am very rich in experiences and things are still happening. It took me too long to realise that there's no rush and that I'll still be experiencing new things for decades to come.


Icy_Back_8332 t1_ir7g6jq wrote

Most people showing off on social media are living a lie it’s okay bro I feel the same way too


TreatThompson OP t1_ir7nqrc wrote

Like people always say: social media just shows the best parts


pete1729 t1_ir7jagk wrote

One of the things I really enjoyed about my 20's (and my 30's too) was the ability to just grind out jobs. The jobs weren't especially memorable, but I remember fondly the stamina, and exercise thereof.


Munchies4Crunchies t1_ir7n746 wrote

You smoked smn before you wrote that header huh lmao regardless you’re right, it’s exactly how i am and ive been stuck in that feeling for years, and i try to unravel it and make it make sense all day every day while i run around doing random menial shit, and when i say that i literally mean it ill spend entire days going to different parts of my room, sitting, panicking and over exaggerating and spiraling and generally digging my preverbial hole or as i call it “thinking” and absolutely nothing else. Instead of thinking i need to do this that and the other thing bit i gotta get a good start tomorrow and then staying up til 5 in the morning high as shit eating anything my eyeballs can sense, i could get up at 1 tomorrow instead of 4-5, go work out, cook some good food, not eat all of it, and get some work done. And i wanna tell myself thats what ill do too.


TreatThompson OP t1_ir7nmc4 wrote

LOL now I see it definitely sounds like high thoughts 😂

But what you’re saying is relatable for sure. It’s easy to get caught up in a frantic pace, moving around, but not making equal progress.


ToiletSpork t1_ir7vjc8 wrote

Vienna waits for you, but only the good die young.


arcadebee t1_ir7xb7a wrote

I’m 32 and only recently felt like I have a direction for life. I feel more secure in myself and feel like I have a little foundation to build on. Now is the time where I start building on that foundation in the general direction that makes sense to me right now. In my 20s, even my late 20s, I felt completely lost and a mess. No idea what I wanted out of life and felt like I’d made zero progress to getting anywhere.

Looking back, I wish I hadn’t stressed so much over it at the time. We’re all just plodding along trying to find something that clicks for a moment. Just keep doing things you feel passionate about and spending time with people who love you, and something will click eventually.


NEYO8uw11qgD0J t1_ir7zl6g wrote

In my sixth decade here.

I regret many things about my twenties: not having as much stupid fun as my peers, not taking more risks asking out the opposite sex, not feeling free to fuck-up and experiment (within reason). But I do not regret not trying to achieve "everything" by 30. I mean, it never occurred to me try. Why? Because two little gems of wisdom from my Dad stuck with me: (1) none of what you care about in your 20s will matter in a hundred years, and (2) if you rigidly plan your life in your 20s, it will have changed by your 40s, and if you regroup in your 40s and tell yourself "now I'm going to buckle down and do what I need to do", everything you prepared for will be blown away by change in your 60s. In other words, don't try to find the "right" path. Because it doesn't exist. Instead, seek the flexibility of mind that will allow you to land on any path and say, "Hey, this looks interesting ... let's see where it goes!"

(Obviously, such flexibility still requires a certain level of discipline to achieve: don't get anyone pregnant, don't become pregnant, don't go to jail, and take care of your body.)


jziggs228 t1_ir87xab wrote

Subscribed to your newsletter


TreatThompson OP t1_ir881u1 wrote

Happy to hear that!! Can’t wait to share with you 😄😄


HobbyPlodder t1_ir6kymo wrote

Is Billy Joel a "great thinker"?


T-Flexercise t1_ir6ltik wrote

I think a lot of it is that we as a society only portray beautiful young people as being happy and successful. It doesn't matter if you travel the world if in all the pictures you're old and fat. Our stories of someone going on an adventure to achieve their dreams all portray young people. Then after that is just happily ever after. We don't often see films about some 43 year old fulfilling a lifelong dream to climb a huge mountain, even though that happens all the time. Your dreams will be just as great if you accomplish them when you have wrinkles. And you will be just as happy getting married now as you will be 3 years from now when you've lost 50 lbs.

Challenge your internalized notions of what a happy successful person looks like. Most of them aren't 25.


Ellie79 t1_ir6n5ph wrote

In my late 20’s, I listened to this song on my regular playlist for several months while I was working this shitty, abusive job 50+ hours a week, in which I was being sexually harassed and accused of having an affair with my married co-worker (my harasser, incidentally). This was supposed to be my dream job and I wanted more than anything for it to work out.

I ended up quitting the job, moving cross-country to accept another job in a place where I knew no one, and met my now-husband.

Not saying it was all thanks to Vienna, but it’s what I think about whenever I hear/see a reference to this song now.


MajorMustard t1_ir6qbyt wrote

The answer is a really really harsh reality:

Life is a race against yourself because many many people don't make it out of their 20s. Either literally by death or by dying while alive.

I'm 30 so I feel like I'm just exiting this phase. I've known 2 people who died unexpectedly through no fault of their own. One was 19 the other 23.

I know countless others who will never get the chance at a normal/typical/ full life after their 20s. Just a few examples

  • 23ish playing soccer, friend jumped too high and fell on another player, wrecked his back so severely he is basically paralyzed.
  • 31 chose his job over his potential spouse, last few years he's turned into an alcoholic and shell of a person. Could turn it around, but I doubt It.
  • 22 one of the smartest girls I knew, drove drunk with friends and died. 3 people dead.

And those are just the ones that immediately sprang to mind. So I think the reality is this, Vienna waits for you if you don't fuck it up or die by accident. And lots of people do one or the other.


Therubestdude t1_ir6qmew wrote

Gravity is always pushing down on us. It's time to push back


that_one_wierd_guy t1_ir6vibs wrote

if you don't enjoy it then does it really matter what you accomplish or what the timetable is?

and if you're passionate about something, sure there's the drive to get it done as soon as possible, but you also want to get it done right.

we don't all start at the same place, so comparing where you're at to where someone else is at doesn't make a lot of sense.


BubbleBoJangles t1_ir6w62h wrote

Be in this world but not of. Follow ur passion and wealth and happiness will follow


weird_black_holes t1_ir7ckae wrote

I don't feel rushed to accomplish much, but there are some things that you can't live your whole life working towards. As a woman in her mid-30s who kind of wants a kid, that is all I am focused on. Career, home, travel, I have years. My own kid? Not much time left, especially since I want it with a partner. I want a family. That's ticking away painfully quickly.


h2man t1_ir7g4h2 wrote

I was very lucky, I achieved a lifelong dream at around 32 and the there was this void. I was well away from my peers and didn’t really have much objectives to complete.

On the other hand, there’s a lot of fake on Facebook... like your friend that toured 15 European countries in 3 weeks?? What did he accomplish? An European tour of airports and railways?

There’s something I usually refer to which is the essay/song “wear sunscreen”:

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Perhaps jealousy is a strong word, but it derives from the same place of what you’re feeling.


yanbag609 t1_ir7yxko wrote

and then one day you find 10 years have gone behind you no one told you when to run you missed the starting gun


Rich4718 t1_ir84ad6 wrote

Vienna not only does not wait for you it actively escapes you as you age. If you don’t make every attempt and your entire ambition to reach it you’ll never get there.


enzovrlrd t1_ir8a22k wrote

There are many nuances to this. Everyone literally has the rest of their lives to live - the joke is on the duration. Selling your present for some comfort on your future is not just advisable, it is expected; it also adds as "payments" for the period of your life where you did not work and still had a measurable attached cost and investment. We pay that back on our children (at least usually).

Having that thought is very healthy but only up to the point where it doesn't prevent you from doing better. It doesn't matter how much money you make as humans can always find new ways to top up comfort and we get used to good things terrifyingly quickly. It's safe, then, to put some thought, and some effort, towards your future. I believe that song is good in the sense that it creates thoughtful provocation but nobody has a way to see the future. WW3 could create a nuclear winter and it would be the end of life as we know it. Have you lived a good life thus far? Is your path aimed towards one? What can you do to steer it? Those are the questions that shouldn't haunt you but shouldn't go unanswered either. Life is short for those who find a way to enjoy it; best things being free is always said by those who don't know the issue relies on access. To healthcare, education, a safe environment. Appreciating the small things can only come after you have a full belly, a safe and warm bed and the peace of mind to enjoy it. Those things have prices, too; not being willing to pay them brings consequences. Like previously stated, many nuances to consider


Old-Necessary t1_ir8a70z wrote

Vienna is but a sausage, a sausage in a metaphysical can


GlendaleActual t1_ir8aux6 wrote

I didn’t even realize I was doing it, but I spent my twenties fostering a love of freedom of time, and laying the foundation to have as much of that as I could while still leading a normal life. By the time I was ready to settle down back in the tiny town I grew up in, I knew I must always have as much freedom as possible. I’ve been self employed since my late twenties and even though I could make double the money doing what I do for a large company, my family lives comfortably and I’d never trade the freedom I have. Having a wife and children is the best part of life, and I want to make sure I soak up as much of it as I can.


TW_JD t1_ir8bot7 wrote

Reminds me of Andy in The US Office: "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them."


QuestionWhy21 t1_ir8cmju wrote

As someone who is 51 and doing her very best to live every moment fully to ‘make up’ for past mistakes - I LOVE your post and the quote.

I didn’t take the time to enjoy things or do what I wanted when I was younger because I was trying to live up to the expectations of others. After some major life changes (newly diagnosed life altering health conditions), I realized that life is too fucking short to be unhappy. Stop doing what others think is best and do what is right for you. We have one life and I want to make sure I experience as much as possible.

Here is the quote I try to live by…”In the end…people will judge you anyway, so don’t live your life impressing others, live your life impressing yourself.’ ~ E. Infante


l4derman t1_ir86e0c wrote

Vienna sausages are always on thee shelf waiting.