Submitted by the-doctor-is-real t3_xy9y5p in GetMotivated
Sometimes I just can't get myself to do any chores, no matter how badly they are backed up, yet others I feel like I can clean the entire building inside and out.
Does this happen to you? what do you do when you just can't do anything?
I admire your confidence
Definitely been there. Usually this happens to me when I am not meeting my own needs. That is when I go do something for me like get coffee, go to yoga, lay down and rest, eat something, go for a walk, open the windows, shower, or just anything that will help me feel taken care of.
I can get really stuck in pacing around and not actually accomplishing anything, so I really try to pay attention to where the lack of motivation is really coming from because like I said this usually happens to when I am not meeting my own needs.
This is quite normal, I think. I take a break, do something refreshing, like a short nap, meditation, or sometimes a walk outside helps. Then I try again.
If the motivation is still tanked, I weigh up how urgently the task needs to be done, and if it can be broken down into steps. If it must be done and I can do some of it now, I'll find a tolerably small piece of the work to do, and do that. Then after that's done, I'll reassess. Often doing a little leads me to finishing the task, but sometimes I'm still tanked and I just let it go until the next day, but I'm reassured that I've at least tested the waters.
Motivation ebbs and flows. Have a listen to Huberman lab on YouTube, he has some interesting talks on the science of motivation and some tools to help.
Might be adhd manic episodes, do you find stimming aka self medicating with tons of caffeine or high intensity workouts or high bpm music helps?
i have trouble sleeping so I avoid caffeine, but when i do have it or amp-it-up music playing, it might make a little difference but not much i think
Yes. This is me all the time. Some days, I am super productive, and enjoy doing house and garden projects. Other days, I just want to nap and watch the Flintstones or some shit, and the thought of taking on ANY project feels overwhelming. I'm aware of it more and more as I get older.
I’m definitely in that boat now. I find a physical to-do list helps. Just keeping it in my head seems much easier to ignore. The first step is the hardest. So on really bad days I’ll pick something simple and relatively enjoyable first. And that sometimes help get the ball rolling. Another thing I do is give myself time limits. It helps if you have someone you can tell that time limit too. Even if it’s just texting a friend and saying “I’m feeling lazy, but make sure I finish ____ by noon!”. Having someone else counting on you is one of the best motivations.
When this happens grab some music , podcast and go for a long walk. Make sure you're outdoors.
Absolutely I do on occasion but I just grab the weights and go for it. We are our own worst enemies when it comes to procrastination.
Break it down into the easiest possible steps. If I want to go to the gym. step 1, put on socks. Then somehow I'm at the gym. Just doing that first stupid thing, like putting on socks, that starts the snowball.
I’m not lazy when it comes to doing other stuff but when it comes to stuff that’s important to do and impacting my life, I just don’t do it. I proscante or just feel scared to face that situation. Like I will avoid doing my important tasks like learning to drive a car or emailing professor but I will do my house work and other stuff. Its like I don’t know how to explain but it’s overwhelming
Are you super competitive?
I always thought "oh I'm competitive & so is my family" bc I grew up playing board games w my family (including grandparents, aunts/uncles etc) and it always felt like the game was not about "family fun" instead it was about "WIN AT ALL COST"
But then I met my hubby & his family and I realized my family was healthy (well at least healthier) than my hubby & his family. And it was not just board games either, any kind of sports the kids were in, holy cow did my oldest son & middle daughter have my hubby's INSANELY competitive gene, meanwhile my youngest son & I were like "umm isnt point of a FAMILY BOARD GAME NIGHT to have fun + learn thing - not lose your mind if you lost at Yahtzee"
Then when our oldest son gave us our 1st grandson is when I realized that the "insanely competitiveness" is an actual gene passed on genetically bc one time we were sitting on floor w our about 9mo old grandson & we had that toddler game of a ball with different cut out shapes all around it & then matching shaped blocks to put in each matching hole. So I started it out by SLOWLY showing grandson how it worked. And he was doing well at it, enjoying it until my hubby came & dumped all shaped blocks in a pile then he tried to speed through the game and when he quickly put all shapes in threw his hands up yelling TIME! My grandson was laughing & clapping BUT had been watching INTENSELY so that after hubby he made me put blocks in pile and then he started trying to RUSH THROUGH as fast as hubby did it. And OF COURSE he could not do it like that but he got SO FRUSTRATED that he started almost hurting his hands to shove blocks into holes until I took it away bc he was NOT having fun, not learning & hurting himself and he was PISSED! And at that moment I realized that there is competitive & then there is the type of competitiveness that pushes great athletes- WHO GET THE FRUSTRATION UNDER CONTROL! Our oldest died about 2 wks after our grandson turned 1yrs old & our daughter in law remarried a man who was different than our son. And when our grandson got old enough to start playing sports that unsportsmanlike competitiveness came out & altho I understood where it came from his parents were not understanding & he did really well in band from 5th grade - 8th grade bc he was still competitive but it was in ways that were not hurling a ball in anger but more like pushed himself to learn new music PERFECTLY & his parents didn't have to get him to practice he was so hard on himself if he had a bad practice that he would go for hours practicing on his own. Then during his summer going into High School he joined golf team bc his other set of grandparents played golf & really pushed him to quit band & join golf team. Which he did but during his Christmas break his grandparents sent him to like an anger frustration management camp bc he just couldn't get his rage under control bc he expected to b the best right away and when he wasn't he would lose his mind
Anyway I'm telling you all of this bc our middle daughter was same way. She is now 33yrs old and even tho she has a college degree, bachelor of science w a major in biology minor in chemistry graduated number 14 out of graduating class, she has yet to have a job that she has stuck w except she walks dogs. She married a man who wants to b the next Tony Robinson .. and they have come to realize that my daughters "competitiveness" has basically paralyzed her bc she is so afraid to help her hubby out w even the low end admin stuff bc she is too afraid to fail. So she is in therapy to help her but I KNOW her biggest problem in life is she expects the best FROM HERSELF & if she does anything that she perceives as failing then she just shuts down completely.
Sorry for long reply but I now see how if you are SUPER competitive that it can actually paralyze you from doing THE BIG THINGS - especially if you have the thought process of #2 is just the first loser - if you are not number 1 then you are a loser - that kind of mentality will paralyze you from doing important tasks
Think about therapy for sure! Hope you get some help & have a great week. Peace ✌️
Definitely.
That's when I lean on discipline.
Motivation feels way better than discipline, and discipline takes the wheel when motivation takes the day (or week, or month) off.
Feeling both motivated & disciplined is such a magical & powerful combo, like being "in the zone," and I wish that feeling came around more. Ride the heck out of that wave when it hits!
When I feel like that, I have to write a to do list. If not I go around the house in circles and don't do anything important. I look at the list and I force myself to do one thing, and then another. Also using a timer helps me to not get stuck in a task longer than necessary.
Sounds like ADHD
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No, it definitely does not.
Livid-Tank-3983 t1_irg47b1 wrote
Always.. pretty sure it's anxiety?