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AwkwardVoicemail t1_irz2cf5 wrote

Be kind and patient with yourself. And maybe take a self-defense class, it can be a big confidence booster, even if you don’t think you’ll ever need it.

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Ash_Divine t1_irzs3n1 wrote

I go to the gym. It helps a great deal with boosting confidence even if it lasts for 3-4 hours at most.

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[deleted] t1_is1jij2 wrote

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Ash_Divine t1_is1pbv8 wrote

It's hard at first trust me. I really know what you're saying because only about a year ago I was 330lbs when I first joined the gym. Seeing myself in the mirror every time was very disheartening and the gym owner even told me later that some people at the gym would tell him that I won't last long (though I did and dropped to 172lbs, but I digress). But it gets better. Eventually you start liking the weightlifting, the walking, the jumping jacks and what not. Then you start making small goals, you start taking more pictures because you start liking the way your body is changing. You gain strength, you can run up the stairs. In the end, when everyone praises you for it, it's a very great feeling, although I'd say the true happiness comes from not hating the person in the mirror and I got to that point quite late. I don't shy away from pictures anymore, I'm more confident around my friends, I feel better when shopping for clothes because I know I won't have to go to another store if this one doesn't have the size I need. It's the little things in life, you know. After having lived at least 99% of my life being obese, this is a whole new experience. It's like I'm reborn and even though the challenges remain, I feel confident that I can do something about them.

I'll still encourage you to go to the gym. You'll be doing it for yourself and no one else. It doesn't matter what everyone else looks like. Everyone at the gym is struggling in some way. Skinny guys want to bulk but keep failing, girls struggle with strength training, old people can't walk as much. Take it one day at a time. Small consistent efforts make a huge change in the end.

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[deleted] t1_is1yv77 wrote

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PhilvanceArt t1_is25ciy wrote

I have never been a gym guy. Totally hate it, tried many times, but for some reason Martial arts have stuck with me. 26 years now. It’s nothing like a gym and you develop friendships and you just feel great. It makes you deal with your life different. You grow and start to realize that you are capable of so much more than you ever thought. It’s totally freaky and nerve wracking the first few times but it’s worth it.

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[deleted] t1_is26kqr wrote

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MangoCrisis t1_is2akzp wrote

It's kinda like jumping in a hot tub. If you know nothing about a hobby and just sign up for classes it's going to feel like it burns. It helps to dip your toes in. Take a boot camp at a gym thats for beginners maybe read about the martial art you are interested in. So then atleast you have a rudementry idea of what's going to happen in class. We are all just robots with life times of conditioning. Even though we are past that age where everything comes easy you can learn. Humans are amazing, we are all capable of more then we think.

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[deleted] t1_is2bzyy wrote

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Ash_Divine t1_is3uyjl wrote

There are online classes for it if you so wish. You can do workouts from the comfort of your home. The trainers help you via video call.

If nothing else helps, then just count calories and walk every day. Just walk for an hour straight, doesn't matter how fast or how slow. At your current weight you'll just lose a lot of it by walking and watching what you eat.

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Zogeta t1_is1kfju wrote

Everyone's got to start somewhere. Stick to a good workout plan and diet and you'll see yourself thinning down and toning up in the mirror in a few weeks. That confidence boost will come. Plus, you'll feel accomplishment as your results come in.

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RealDrag t1_irztbl5 wrote

For some reason I always wanted to learn martial arts. I always thought it would make me feel stronger.

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OrbitingPsychonaut t1_is15qtl wrote

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and martial arts changed my life. Do it. Seriously, it has sooo many benefits.

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sabretoooth t1_is24q2h wrote

You won't just feel stronger, but more confident and generally happier. As long as you find a good gym with genuine trainers, and not a McDojo or a gym full of bullies, it will help you grow as a person, no matter your age or how fit you are.

There's frustration starting out where you can't do anything, but when you get to grips with your first two or three moves the satisfaction is huge, and it's an addicting feeling. There's quite nothing like practicing or sparring with a partner to get you out of your head and truly living in the moment.

Having a class to go to just once a week will do wonders. You'll feel incredibly sore the next day and think to yourself never again, but in a few days you won't be able to wait until the next session.

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ValyrianJedi t1_is18t68 wrote

Clothes can make a big difference too. How you're dressed can make a big subconscious confidence boost.

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archseattle t1_is1buj7 wrote

I agree. I know some people can feel confident regardless how they’re dressed, but I’ve always needed to be dressed well in public to feel fully confident. I think it’s probably similar for other people who grew up in low income rural areas and live in cities now.

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ValyrianJedi t1_is1d03e wrote

Yeah I'm in the exact same boat. Right after covid hit my company had us working from home for a couple months, and I realized pretty quickly that the whole sweatpants under the screen thing just plain didn't work for me. Like if I had a remotely important client meeting, even if it was just audio and no video, I had to get fully dressed up down to socks and shoes if I wanted to be at 100%. And from what I heard from other people thar definitely wasn't unique to me either.

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jochem4208 t1_is1xb32 wrote

Self-defense classes did magic, idk what or why but damn

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AwkwardVoicemail t1_is3ou8x wrote

Anxiety causes me to imagine the worst case scenario a lot of the time, even if I know it will never happen. After a few months of Krav Maga classes, I started to think to myself “Well, at least I know I can punch people if I have to.” Just the knowledge that you are powerful helps a lot.

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jochem4208 t1_is4vla3 wrote

I guess that's what happened to me to, did krav to and just that little bit of knowledge.

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