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RandomZombieStory t1_isfwk52 wrote

Just make sure it’s you that has grown and not your ego.

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ctoatb t1_isie5dx wrote

Everyone else is getting paid more. Is my ego too big if I am asking to be brought up to the new baseline?

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RandomZombieStory t1_isiede6 wrote

No, you absolutely should. Just be aware that a lot of places suck when it comes to getting raises. Go for it, but have an exit plan in your back pocket. Good luck bro.

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ctoatb t1_isii3jm wrote

I brought it up immediately upon finding out. All I can tell you is they gave me a reason why I didn't get one. I feel like my project team has been giving me the cold shoulder since. I can't imagine that they'll give me a complete freeze out. I like the company and I feel like it fits, but this project feels cursed. There are more problems than just the compensation. There's still a few months left before I can ask for a reassignment. Just have to remember to leave work at work.

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Joe_Pitt t1_isij8xr wrote

Did everyone get a raise due to inflation and maybe they forgot you?

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ctoatb t1_isikzdb wrote

I can tell you that they gave me a reason

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oopsiedaisy58 t1_isfiovk wrote

Yes! I so needed to read this today, thank you!

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itsdandyhere OP t1_isfr2ax wrote

You're welcome :)

I've needed to hear this too lately!

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enduring_student t1_isgrpcp wrote

I think this is really good. Though I would like to offer a slightly different version (because it's good to visit places if they're still good for you, just maybe you shouldn't force yourself to stay with them forever):

Stop shrinking to stay in places you've outgrown.

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speculativejester t1_ish28zg wrote

I recently had to fly back to my home state that I left 10 years ago for family reasons. I was vividly reminded of why I needed to leave, and why I shouldn't ever go back- closer to family or not.

This image fits my feelings perfectly.

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lovelyracoon t1_isi9k62 wrote

the best decision I ever made was leaving. my family treated me like trash, I was depressed and hopeless.

I quit hating myself and life a couple days after I moved out, my family always insinuated I will be even more miserable when I moved out, but I never realized until then that the misery I experience will always be on my own terms, and not at the mercy of other people.

I left two years ago, I said goodbye and haven’t sent a single text or phone call ever since, it isn’t family when you feel relieved to no longer be in their presence.

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thaddeus423 t1_isj02bf wrote

I’m glad you were able to pull yourself out of the flames. That took a strength some of us may never know.

I hope you are doing well. Take back all of the pieces of yourself that you dropped off of yourself or let die to fit into places.

The destination we’re bound for will have enough space for us to not only be who we are, but to grow boundlessly.

May you find your rainforest.

Much love, friend.

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speculativejester t1_isjg0er wrote

My family was toxic but they weren't abusive toward me. They are just highly dysfunctional people who are a product of all the terrible influences of their environment.

I still love them, but I can't keep people like that in my life regularly.

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Linzel44 t1_isfryx0 wrote

I needed this today!! Thank u

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phayke2 t1_ishzx6y wrote

My antidepressants kicked in and every person I know is like one or two levels above suicidal or ignoring me (and likely most everyone else they know too). Outgrowing my depression friends is lonelier than being depressed. I genuinely wish I was back to barely having the energy to get up, it would be less disappointing/alienating. My environment and level of energy and spirit would at least match. Now it's just the pills making me feel positive and everyone else making me feel not worth talking to.

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enduring_student t1_isiavw9 wrote

I've been in similar situations and it is very frustratingly true that sometimes real progress can feel like a set back. Loneliness sucks, but just like you found medication that helps with that you can find friends who can help with the loneliness.

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phayke2 t1_isicfry wrote

Yeah I guess I just need to blend in with people who I previously felt nothing in common with like some alien while they had healthy lives support and self esteem the past 20 years and I was wasting away turning cynical. Find a way to like the people who always seemed irritating before and have less dark sense of humor, cause apparently it's the hardest thing to find well adjusted friends who know both sides and are working on themselves. Either I'm in a depressed bubble or healthy people are too busy or find me weird or judge the shit out of me.

And yeah a lot of was depression but a lot of it is the long term effects, my ecosystem and my wiring from all those years. I don't know what to do with happiness or energy or know anyone who really gives much of a fuck now that I have the ingredients to live a better life I just feel alienated on both sides rather than one.

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enduring_student t1_isikl9m wrote

You know, I think your idea of feeling like an alien, and having a hard time finding the right kinds of people, is interesting. Yeah, feeling alienated is normal when your life is changing. You simply haven't gotten to try out the new options available to you. And it's ok, because if it where easy you'd've already done it.

Maybe try something low-key to find other people to connect with. Maybe a hobby or two, or get into a fandom of a tv show or movie you like, and chatting online for a few weeks just to get the feel of your new normal with people, then chatting IRL. I know how hard it is to deliberately try to make friends and the let-down if it doesn't work is awful, so if you just aim to share interests you can get two birds with one stone: having a hobby to motivate you and put your new energy into, and getting used to interacting with non-depressed people. Maybe friends will happen too.

And at the very least, you are having a chat with a non-depressed person right now. I used to be depressed. I know that other side. I highly recommend the happier, more energy, give a fuck side.

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thaddeus423 t1_isj0hv5 wrote

There’s a certain safety and comfort in misery and unhappiness. You don’t really have anything to lose other than this low, so you don’t risk anything because why would you?

Happiness is a risk you have to take every day, since there’s a chance it doesn’t work out, whatever the occasion.

But humanity is here to connect and share and community, which is why we find these experiences so fulfilling.

So, I know it’s terrifying and alienating, but it’s hard work and a bit of a risk and a lot of fear of the unknown to try and be happy every day.

I can assure you it is most definitely worth it. You won’t ever grow if you don’t step out of your comfort zone.

You’re doing well, friend. Knowing is half the battle. Being aware of your mind and how it works and responds is how you learn more going forward.

I really do think you’ve got this. Keep putting in the work.

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fadoxi t1_isf72w0 wrote

Want true motivation?

>!you!< : §¦¬}. <——— chadus magnificus

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KickNo1506 t1_isg0g4g wrote

damm my dirty mind !!!

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Key_Yam588 t1_isgrjmc wrote

Except for your waistband

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goldendreamseeker t1_isgut9x wrote

I recently moved and am still adjusting, so it’s nice to read this :)

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HappyJacks17 t1_isgw5xo wrote

That’s this weeks wallpaper

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erbush1988 t1_isgwr0x wrote

Unless you are getting fat, in which case take it as a sign to start shrinking yourself.

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nukefrom0rbit t1_isgyyh8 wrote

Can't, I'm 6'4 and I bang my head

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Jasji420 t1_isi8rre wrote

Loving ❤️comments how people have different mindset to a specific statement.

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NeroFMX t1_isibc0w wrote

This is actually pretty amazing. I really like it.

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sorryTwT t1_isjeskb wrote

You're right. I worked hard to grow but somehow i missed this along the way. Thanks

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6inarow_ready2tow t1_isgt9o1 wrote

Spring for that first class seat. Quit spilling over onto me in coach.

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heroforaday t1_isgzoot wrote

Transport to a hospitable planet would be appreciated right now

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-female-redditor- t1_ish0kws wrote

I get what it’s trying to say, but some people really do need to lose weight.

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WhitneyTamir t1_ishfe69 wrote

What do you mean I can't go to Smäland?

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theternal_phoenix t1_ishfi48 wrote

Reminds me of a line from The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo:

"Never make yourself smaller to make anyone else feel better."

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q-bus t1_ishxlty wrote

Middle airplane seat here I come... someone crosspost this to tall

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GuestRose t1_ishxvuu wrote

Oh wait this is metaphorical I was thinking literally like "omg truuue"

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Soccorgolf t1_isiazvq wrote

Except airplane seats?

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Bitter-Ad8728 t1_isn4pw4 wrote

Whoa. Thanks, needed that reminder.

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MaterialArtichoke922 t1_iu76bp9 wrote

This is how I feel about my workplace. I’ve put in my notice and will be looking for something more rewarding that values team work!

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RioBlue93 t1_ishq2o0 wrote

feel like this is the mentality of "old friends" who catch their first wiff of success and bail on the friends that supported them.

but, ya, its definitely "growth"

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12kdaysinthefire t1_ishswmq wrote

Fine, but then how am I supposed to expand these jeans?

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XTornado t1_isic3sg wrote

And that's why I am fat /s

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slam900 t1_isic76w wrote

/r/shittyhaikus

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piddyd t1_isicnk5 wrote

Like your mom's vag? Most gen zs are still there

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coyotesage t1_isifr46 wrote

I've got one: Stop writing lazy platitudes to make yourself feel better.

Ah dang, I think I'm a hypocrite now...

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pikseliveli t1_isimm6n wrote

Stop shrinking to fit places you've outgrown

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pikseliveli t1_isimp3s wrote

Stop shrinking to fit places you've outgrown

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pikseliveli t1_isimpj2 wrote

Stop shrinking to fit places you've outgrown

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pikseliveli t1_isimpw2 wrote

Stop shrinking to fit places you've outgrown

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pikseliveli t1_isimq82 wrote

Stop shrinking to fit places you've outgrown

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TopAlps6 t1_isimowt wrote

Some people love to stay in places they Ed outgrown. Because it makes them feel large. Kinda like being the king of fools.

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MrGaia35 t1_isjhtf6 wrote

How about learn basic shapes and plants.

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jlmcdon2 t1_ishbkyt wrote

Great! No diet for me!

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