Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

Nikkisnippets t1_izvdx3c wrote

I'm going through a really rough time with this now... I don't get it either.

My thing is, do they realize what they're doing?

15

QueenBloomRi t1_izvetb8 wrote

In my case I feel like she does know sometimes but doesn’t care bc she needs to make herself feel better. I try to make space so she can work things out and it helps sometimes but I feel like we end up in a cycle

12

I-Ponder t1_izvg8jn wrote

As the saying goes, misery likes company. It’s very true. Miserable people want to be that way, and they don’t like it when those around them are happy, as they can’t understand how they could be that way.

Just remember, it’s them, not you. But be careful, as letting those people stay negative around you can have a negative impact on you. They say you’re like the 5 people you hangout with the most. (Though I can’t say whether this is truly accurate or not) but it at least has a grain of truth.

9

QueenBloomRi t1_izvhq7c wrote

Thank you for your insight, I agree with you. I’ve been through so much with her which makes it hard to step back sometimes. I want things to go back to how they were but I know they won’t bc I’ve grown and make so much progress with my self and intend to continue. We’re just growing apart and it hurts tremendously.

3

Worshipthekitty t1_izwb2xo wrote

Unfortunately in my experience friends like that are narcissists and even if you very calmly and directly address the issue they will get defensive , not acknowledge their behavior or even turn it around on you and make you feel it's your fault. My best friend in middle school was this way. Everything was a competition, my opinion was invalid, and she was constantly trying to 1 up me.(which was also ridiculous cause I was pretty poor). Anyways. You recognize it is toxic...set some serious distance and see if she comes around or stays the same. There are plenty of kind, like-minded people in the world who will not treat you like garbage.

7