Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

jacobfreeman88 t1_j0761u2 wrote

Reply to comment by crujones33 in [Image] Randomly came across this on Instagram and it really hit me by maximum-aloofness

I’d say if you don’t like yourself, you have reasons for not liking yourself, and I think in my personal opinion it’s useless to hear to “like yourself”. If you don’t like yourself you will know you’re faking it, which will make it worse. Kind of like faking a smile. A lot of pseudo psychologist used to think that helped you feel happier but if you know you’re faking it it actually makes it worse. We’re too smart to trick ourselves like that.

My opinion is if you don’t like yourself try to do some stuff that’s difficult, but not too difficult. Possibly something physical(jog, lift weights, play basketball, join a gym, do yoga). Also, If the area you spend most of your time is messy, that doesn’t help with how you feel about yourself.

Start focusing on how the people you love feel, instead of you. Slowly you’ll start to feel better and hopefully that leads to a positive loop for you.

Another thing to mention is doing all those things will also make your life better in a lot of ways. So even if it feels selfless it’s actually selfish, cause you get back way more than you give.

Occasionally you get burned but you can’t have expectations from others, just yourself.

Edit: don’t give up on liking yourself.

I find the people that don’t like themselves are the best people, cause they are aware that something is fucked up.

3

Foxsayy t1_j077lsy wrote

My suggestion is therapy.

3

jacobfreeman88 t1_j077t9h wrote

I would recommend that too, Sometimes that’s a hard first step, also sometimes it’s not an option. Good luck.

3

crujones33 t1_j0dlerk wrote

It’s on my to do list. I have to figure out issues with health insurance so I don’t get stuck with a large bill.

2

crujones33 t1_j0dqm8z wrote

>I’d say if you don’t like yourself, you have reasons for not liking yourself,

Yes I do. I don’t recall if I listed them in this post in another comment or another post.

>and I think in my personal opinion it’s useless to hear to “like yourself”.

Yes, I hate this advice too. It’s up there with “stop being shy”.

>My opinion is if you don’t like yourself try to do some stuff that’s difficult, but not too difficult.

Why? What does this accomplish?

>Another thing to mention is doing all those things will also make your life better in a lot of ways. So even if it feels selfless it’s actually selfish, cause you get back way more than you give.

I concur.

>Occasionally you get burned but you can’t have expectations from others, just yourself.

It’s based on my expectations. My ex-girlfriend had better expectations of me than I do. Most people have better expectations of me than I do. Maybe it’s because of how much time I sit in my own headspace.

>Edit: don’t give up on liking yourself.

I haven’t, yet.

1

jacobfreeman88 t1_j0fj317 wrote

Doing something difficult (but not too difficult) is instilling in us a sense of accomplishment and confidence in our ability to do thing. I find with sooo many distractions we stop doing the things we really want to do, deep down. And that makes us feel like we actually can’t do things. At least that’s my experience. Also with social media you’re bombarded with people doing amazing and achieving stuff.

It’s kinda like this study I watched on the effects of porn on confidence. If you watch other men with other women long enough, it does something to our primitive brains. That monkey part of the brain that was pushed aside by a bigger stronger male for mating purposes. I’m being silly but there’s truth in that.

1

crujones33 t1_j0tl99e wrote

A lot of this makes sense. I find myself doing time-wasting, unproductive, low-effort crap instead of things I want to do.

The porn stuff makes sense too.

1