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Secondi26 t1_j050j23 wrote

I needed this, thank you

158

mithie007 t1_j054u61 wrote

Wait, how is this motivating?

−4

AmongCats t1_j055aos wrote

these are getting a bit too personal but i dont mind

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aelfrictr t1_j05d79d wrote

man I was thinking about texting after this time. maybe i shouldn't. clearly we don't work well but i just have this urge to know if she is okay and healthy.

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sye1337 t1_j05h6zk wrote

It's hard. Sometimes the poison is the only thing available to drink. :(

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_Cautious_Memory OP t1_j05hots wrote

Replying to sye1337 (#925,932)

I understand and I was there most of the times, but when it comes to one's mental health and peace NO ONE ELSE should be prioritized. You should be the most important person for yourself. Don't hurt yourself because of someone else's opinions/mistakes. You deserve the best.

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SuperKing37 t1_j05mc8x wrote

Look like the left person is left person is try to free themselves from a spiders web, wait, is that Venom? Yea, he is toxic

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eatMYcookieCRUMBS t1_j05mq3t wrote

Replying to aelfrictr (#925,728)

Googled my ex. Together 8 years. She cheated. It's been 4 years. She is actually getting into movies as an actress. Made me want to tell her I'm happy for her. She wanted it her entire life. I still think I didn't need to do that. Didn't make me feel better.

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eggtart_prince t1_j05ouey wrote

Thanks for the reminder. I feel like I'm on the edge of talking to one of my toxic friend again.

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devopsdevops t1_j05qk8i wrote

These toxic people are so damn alluring though...

Stay strong!

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itwhiz100 t1_j05ruw8 wrote

Onlyfans and instathots need this!!! Bring back marriages!!

−3

Sam2734 t1_j05sczg wrote

Replying to eatMYcookieCRUMBS (#926,185)

But why did you want to tell her you're happy for her? Are you actually happy for her and you wanted to let her know/congratulate her? Or was it selfishly motivated in some way, like to make yourself feel better or to "try and be the bigger person"?

If it was just to congratulate her, then it shouldn't matter if it made you feel better. It's a nice, selfless gesture. If it was selfishly motivated, then that's probably why it didn't make you feel better. Because you're still trying to "win" the breakup or "be the bigger person" years later. The only way to "win" is to move on and stop playing the game.

Either way, sorry to hear it. I'd be upset seeing someone who cheated on me succeed like that. Sorry man

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watchoutsucka t1_j05z0ik wrote

Replying to eatMYcookieCRUMBS (#926,185)

I agree with Sam down here, but I think it doesn't even have to get that far. What is a takeaway here? I think it is if you do anything further in a situation like this, the best outcome...and that is if everything goes right and the wind is at your back...the best outcome is that you don't fuck anything up.

I can say that with such certainty because I've done the same fucking thing. I'm not on a moral mountain looking down at you. I'm looking across at you. I contemplated a similar no win situation and writing about yours is strengthening my resolve.

How about we both run Scooby Doo style away from situations like this starting now.

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Terspet t1_j05zhrc wrote

Damn , how to avoid These toxic ppl at my Workplace when i realy need the Money though...

2

chottomats t1_j05zkyn wrote

Didnt know i need to read this until today

2

oddlittlecritter t1_j0665xr wrote

And damn is it hard when you think you’re the one who has the issues. Gotta wake up and snap out of it. Good to know we’re not alone. Stay true to you 🙏🏼

1

louisme97 t1_j067yjj wrote

jokes on you, i dont even have toxic people i could reconnect with :)

1

Random_Name532890 t1_j069txg wrote

Is it toxic to write people off as toxic, like they are born with a certain condition and can't ever change?

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_Cautious_Memory OP t1_j06c5d4 wrote

Replying to Random_Name532890 (#927,106)

Toxic person here doesn't mean that his character is bad, toxic person is someone who's not the right person for you to be surrounded with.

Ofcourse, I agree with what you're saying but not everyone are meant for you right. 'Toxic' as in someone gaslighting YOU, triggering YOU, betraying YOU, poking on YOUR weakness but sometimes when you give more importance to that person you can't see through the mask and recollect all the good times, try to mend ways & eventually you'll lose yourself in this journey. To know yourself better/to get out of the loop of negativity, you need to distance yourself from these people (not toxic by character but toxic for you).

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MarcoEmbarko t1_j06etee wrote

I've been heavily reflecting on this the past week, as I've found myself connecting with people who do not care about me out of sheer loneliness. Albeit, the friend who only talks about themselves, or the friend that only comes around when they need something. So, Thank you for posting this. It was the reminder I needed to indefinitely let those toxic people go.

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Violentflatus t1_j06k181 wrote

Looks around while drinking arsenic through a silly straw. -

And now I see where I messed up.

2

justcallmesabi t1_j06mqmg wrote

I needed this as I sit here in a hotel room by myself after ending a 7 year toxic and mentally abusive relationship.

It hurts.

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RangerHere t1_j06n1df wrote

I needed this advice 10 years ago.

1

fapalicius t1_j06oj5o wrote

Im thinking about giving up on people in general and just be by myself and a few pets. Almost everyone i trusted and loved betrayed me in the end. And acquaintances i have are too sensitive to my dark humour so they are no fun

2

so555 t1_j06rj6e wrote

I agree and lived through a very lonely period. Including staying home alone on New Year’s

By some miracle I met an amazing person and we live together now - I’m so glad I waited for a good person to come into my life

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Euphoric-Blue-59 t1_j06rp9w wrote

There is a difference between being alone and lonely.

1

tunacan94 t1_j06u163 wrote

I still drink it because I like the taste

1

gonzohst93 t1_j06w1ua wrote

Replying to Sam2734 (#926,451)

8 year relationship would have me wishing success upon the person whether they wronged me or cheated. I think through growth we can all get there but 8 years is a long time. My last relationship was 10 years and I broke things off from my end and still really wish her the best although there was no cheating or anything

8

gonzohst93 t1_j06wabo wrote

Replying to sye1337 (#925,932)

The whole purpose of this post is to avoid the person even if they're the only option, so them being the only option is fine, you'll go without and deal with things alone

5

FutureWorth2 t1_j078cqd wrote

Sometimes you just stuck inevitably dealing with them, till you get the chance to leave.

1

intheblueocean t1_j07a10e wrote

I often feel even lonelier after spending time with a toxic “friend” :(

2

eazolan t1_j07ctuw wrote

But... what if her boobs are huge?

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Idiot_Savant_Tinker t1_j07d658 wrote

There's a woman I've known since 2002. She changed my life for the better.

Because she helped me so much, for a long time I didn't see the red flags. After a while I noticed that she only wanted me around when I'd found someone else. I met my wife in 2007, and my wife is 200% amazing, loving, caring, beautiful, and this goofy woman I met in 2002 was hysterically trying to get herself involved... always needing my help with little repairs around her house, always trying to be close. When I finally made up my mind to just cut this woman out of my life, everything got better. It took a while to get her out of my head. Having a lovely, supporting wife made all the difference.

1

dedicated-pedestrian t1_j07j2a7 wrote

Replying to Random_Name532890 (#927,106)

No. You can refine, distill, adulterate poison into something useful or beneficial. Might even be potable.

Being "toxic" is a choice. It is something you can change about yourself. But once you wrong someone, you've broken something between the two of you, and it should be understandable that they need some convincing to come around to the notion that you're not the same person who did that to them.

1

donotgogenlty t1_j07kllv wrote

Replying to eatMYcookieCRUMBS (#926,185)

I had bad breakup as well, I just stopped loving the person and felt wrong to 'just be together'. Also they would threaten to kill themselves and make me have to fortify my home with fences would be more difficult for them to sneak into my property... Long story.

Pain will always be there since I once loved this person. I think people who cheat pay a higher price tho, and they have to live with their mistakes.

I feel like everyone's life is a Lake. You can erode and explore the world through streams and grow, absorbing the environment into a homogenous liquid. Let things that slow your growth naturally sink to the lakebed where only a very rough storm can briefly disturb the lakebed sediment once settled, yet at the same time the larger and deeper your Lake becomes the less of an impact it has on the whole. 🙏

2

CCoolant t1_j07rptl wrote

Anyone remember Puppywhirl? This image kind of reminds me of Puppywhirl.

1

PalindromemordnilaP_ t1_j07v69v wrote

Replying to Secondi26 (#924,976)

If this is something you are struggling with in life I might recommend watching/reading Where the Crawdads Sing, these themes are touched on HEAVILY and it's a great film.

Can't speak to the book as I haven't read it but I plan to.

14

gabrieme2190 t1_j07y8r5 wrote

I needed this......Urgh I cant! I absolutely cannot go back....Yet, my body is screaming for connection and hope. They were terrible family. They didn't not love me the way I needed. Just because MOM emailed me to tell my grandma (who I could care less for) is going die.....I don't fucking care, cause I already want to die because of you lady and the woman who raised my father. She doesn't deserve me.

2

etriusk t1_j080sq3 wrote

Took me getting back together with an ex like 8 times to figure this out.

2

Faux_bog t1_j081p27 wrote

But who do I connect with..... Only people who ever showed any for of connection (though negative) were the toxic people.

1

Manoonen t1_j08f1bj wrote

Replying to devopsdevops (#926,362)

The problem is that if you are going to school and you have this problem you can either stop being with people which probably will lead to bullying or just fake being bad for like 3 years and become a good person

3

AntonChigurh8933 t1_j08f1gz wrote

"Is like reading the same book then expecting a different ending."

2

AliBarberTheSecond t1_j08pcf7 wrote

Oof needed this. Been very seriously considering getting back in contact with someone who treated me poorly.

2

smiggster01 t1_j08qo5b wrote

But…. Loniness is fucking killing me! Its easier said than done when you work all day, almost alone, then get home and literally don’t open your mouth until work the next day. I don’t even have a pet I can justify talking to

1

Davefromflushing t1_j08wrfw wrote

What if they’re family and you don’t want to cut them out?

1

somethingsmissing06 t1_j08xkxy wrote

Thank you very much for helping me not drunk text my ex. I needed this

1

OmenofBane t1_j08zfrc wrote

Well.... too late. And I never managed to find them anyways. Thank God I didn't.

1

Dzeav t1_j091z9i wrote

HOLY THIS IS A FUCKING BANGER RIGHT HERE

1

Misten808 t1_j093c7q wrote

Also good to remember don't let toxic people ont o your bed or get into theore cause you feel a bit lonely, this time of year can be terrible for the mind encouraging letting guards down to the wrong folks

1

Thulsa_Doom83 t1_j0980ph wrote

Toxic people definitely deserve loneliness

2

suckmyfungaltoes t1_j09cjn3 wrote

Where was this post a month ago when I made that mistake? It's pretty sad for people to take advantage of the ones that care enough to bend over backwards

1

chenzo17 t1_j09hizd wrote

While I don’t use the term toxic I definitely see how one can betray themselves by getting too lonely. Being alone might have its pains but it’s far better than to be in bad company

2

improbablynotyou t1_j09iybm wrote

Replying to eggtart_prince (#926,287)

I cut contact with an extremely toxic friend a few years ago. Last year around this time frame he reached out and due to loneliness I was willing to give it a chance. In the same conversation he doubled down on being an asshole so I went back to having zero contact. Maybe 6 months ago I started back down that same path of being lonely and wanting to reach out. This time I discovered he had died the month before. At the time it really bothered me, however now... I'm definitely happy I cut contact and never should have doubted myself. There's a reason I don't allow assholes to stay in my life, I just need to remind myself of that on occasion.

1

saraarif t1_j09owph wrote

I need this, love this creativity

1

ChessieJackson t1_j0oukj2 wrote

I make fun of a lot of stuff here but this one is spot on.

Hang out with good people. Ones who bring you up, not pull you down.

Be with people who are like good food who nurture you, not some convince food that brings you nothing but regret.

1

lawoflyfe t1_j0xh4ep wrote

Facts! My water bottle has a quote like this-- believe it or not.

It says: BE CAREFUL WHO YOU CALL YOUR FRIENDS. I'D RATHER HAVE FOUR QUARTERS THAN ONE HUNDRED PENNIES.

Stay motivated, stay hydrated

1