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BrownRecluse90 t1_j1cb98x wrote

Reply to comment by EverQrius in [image] by _Cautious_Memory

Care to share some gems of wisdom or things you've picked up along the way?

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darkware1 t1_j1cvjux wrote

Try not to label everything within you as good or bad. Or if you have to always try to find both in every situation. You will see that accepting your fears (outcomes you label as just bad) will help you accept yourself. If you're holding regrets then try to ask yourself the question whether you did your best with the amount of knowledge you had at time. If you can answer it with yes and it was still a shitty outcome then that means you had to learn something new to realize that. You have regrets because you've learned the lesson now. You might be able to see the value in that at some point and see the good in the bad experience.

But all of this works if you truly believe your own word. And you gotta practice to be honest and start trusting yourself before you can truly believe the "yes" or "no" to your own questions.

Good luck there mate, in the end you will have to create your own tools how to best deal with yourself and noone else's methods will guarantee you that. Only you can know what's best for you, and finding what that is is hard enough in the present. Impossible to decide for the future so it requires some giving in as well.

In the end we're all going through the same journey looking from a further vantage point and if some people can do it, so can you! <3

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Sugar_Panda t1_j1eq3pc wrote

Thank you for taking the time to write this! I am very grateful 🙏 it helps

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ComeFromTheWater t1_j1d6zl9 wrote

Pick a hobby or activity you enjoy and stick with it. You don’t have to ever be great at it per se, but having something you enjoy doing that you are at least set of good at really helps.

The bad news is you have to be consistent. The good news is that it just takes a little bit each day to get decent at something.

This next part may be a bit controversial, but I began taking martial arts (BJJ, but Judo, Tae Keon Do and boxing/kickboxing are legit too) really helped me because it empowered me. Knowing that you can defend yourself really helps even in non-physical situations, such as a negotiation or a conversation with your boss. I guess it becomes easier to stand up for yourself. You also learn that you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.

Some sort of self-help/therapy is beneficial also.

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Gyoza-shishou t1_j1fsjrw wrote

Agree on the martial arts but a word of caution to watch what gyms you go to, way too many try to sell you this idea of being a "warrior" or just offer straight up bullshit teachings. Generally speaking, if their first rule of martial arts is to run when possible then you're in a good place.

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EverQrius t1_j1ik778 wrote

Just responded in the main thread. I hope it helps with your journey.

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