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Ortus14 t1_j6h80wh wrote

Reply to comment by Konmarty in [Discussion] How to get into action without having a goal yet? by Konmarty

No pain no gain.

As far as reeking of desperation, that can be fixed by practicing non attachment to outcome and focusing on the process.

So instead of telling yourself, I'm going to make a friend, you tell yourself I'm going to introduce myself to three groups of people, and if we vibe I'll exchange contact info and suggest we all hang out. They could completely ignore you, but you should consider that a success, and maybe even reward yourself for doing it.

Then you try a different approach, maybe work on your vibe, your style, your fitness, your grooming, or where you choose to go, then try again. But again the success is that you did the experiment, not weather it worked or not. Because either way you got new experiences and data, that will help you in the future.

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Konmarty OP t1_j6h8ywf wrote

That's probably a good approach yes. (Though obviously it would still help if I just go do things I enjoy in the first place so any outcome is secondary. But there's a bit of a conflict of interest there cause I don't really enjoy social interaction and all of my hobby's are quite solitary too)

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Ortus14 t1_j6hdw3z wrote

Exactly. You aren't likely to make friends if you don't push yourself out of your comfort zone.

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