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Anonnanon OP t1_j6dlzya wrote

Reply to comment by Modern_Devil in [text] How to stay motivated when cutting alcohol? by Anonnanon

I think I drink because it makes me happier (in the moment), allows me to be more present, and lets me forget about the shitty stuff that happened during the day. I’m on antidepressants for depression and anxiety, and while those do help, I often get home and can’t sit still because I’m always thinking about what else I should be doing.

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Confident-Forever-75 t1_j6dmyz6 wrote

Do you feel like you use alcohol to distract you from the fact that you don’t really know what you’re doing in life besides staying alive?

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Anonnanon OP t1_j6ejaeg wrote

That sounds really depressing. No, I don’t use it for that reason. A lot of it is just because my work is very stressful and it keeps me from thinking about it too much.

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Thathappenedearlier t1_j6dp9pa wrote

Exercising helps a lot and for me video games fill the void especially games that require problem solving

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patman_007 t1_j6dojmi wrote

You should listen to your anxiety and do some of the other things you feel you need to do. Not all of them at once but just pick one or two every evening. You'll instantly feel better after you accomplish some of these other things, even if they're tiny tasks. Pretty soon you'll have that list down to a small, manageable one and you'll be in the habit of not procrastinating because you'll realize how much better it feels than alcohol.

You'll always have things to take care of, that's life. But if you ignore the anxious part of your brain it'll just convert that over to a lack of any really emotion as a way to cope with you not dealing with it (depression).

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Anonnanon OP t1_j6ejjnv wrote

Mm, that’s fair. I guess keeping my to-do list each evening limited to one or two things would help keep me from burning myself out while also taking care of the things on my mind.

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patman_007 t1_j6elfvr wrote

And give you something more productive than drinking to do in your free time. Win win win. Saying this as someone working through the habit myself.

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Modern_Devil t1_j6dt3td wrote

I’m trying to understand what you are trying to accomplish.

You mentioned you want to be happy, present, forgetful, and still.

I hate to say this because the thought of it makes me cringe.

You might benefit from meditation. It doesn’t work for me because I never want to be still. It does work for a lot of people.

Otherwise, try to think of things not alcohol that can help you accomplish your goals.

Maybe you don’t really want to be still, you just don’t know what to do with all your energy. In that case maybe some form of exercise would be nice. I also try to mix in as much sexual activity as possible. It’s so good for all of the things you mentioned.

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Kapope t1_j6dmlxo wrote

Whats wrong with thinking about what you should be doing?

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I_Am_Rook t1_j6dvg7s wrote

When you do it too much, you become task paralyzed and end up doing nearly nothing.

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Kapope t1_j6e49fb wrote

Fair enough, OP saying they can’t sit still made me think they just legit had things they needed to do and were thinking about those things and trying to work on them. Too often it seems people look for ways to ignore what they should probably just tackle and get out of the way and I’ve witnessed it too many times in my own life in the form of friends or family members living with filth, unpaid bills, and any other problem with a known solution but they just want to relax with a few beer so they don’t have to think about all the stress when they really should be. Its a cycle and I was asking OP because I was curious why they consider thinking about what they should be doing as a bad thing. It could be skewed perceptions, maybe they had a role model growing up who came home from work and laid on the couch for the rest of the day and they can’t understand why they can’t relax the same way. It might just be they’re comparing themselves to a wildly different person. Who knows, my side is purely anecdotal. I do hope Im not doing any harm by asking.

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Anonnanon OP t1_j6ekkjx wrote

I just get burnt out by trying to do everything all at once. Like my fiancé will want to get intimate or just chill with me for a bit, but because I’m so focused on tasks, I can’t relax and be with him. Like it feels like I’m on a timer to do things before I have to go to bed and go to work the next day. Getting a bit tipsy alleviates that sense of urgency.

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