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HaysteRetreat t1_j435lxs wrote

Maybe this just isnt for me but as someone who struggles in a feedback loop between low self-esteem and maladaptive perfectionism I already beat the crap out of myself for not being better. Someone else telling me to expect even more from myself is the last thing I need.


Anrikay t1_j440l2m wrote

Expecting more from yourself can also mean working to be more kind to yourself, loving yourself more, and working on achieving better mental health. Or looking for greater self satisfaction rather than external validation.

That's something I struggle with as well, but I'm trying really hard to hold myself to a higher standard of self-empathy and self-respect.


pineappleshnapps t1_j44zysy wrote

Same! While also remembering that i can’t focus too much on me, and not enough about the people around me. I’d worked myself into a bad spiral of not giving myself any credit or slack, and it led to some real rough times


NearbyDark3737 t1_j47t1w3 wrote

No, I completely agree. I saw op and I immediately didn’t feel good about it


AdonisGaming93 t1_j434mjm wrote

No, then I just yell at myself constantly when I make mistakes, and put myself down.


pineappleshnapps t1_j4503rb wrote

Part of expecting more can be cutting yourself some slack. Also, baby steps, it doesn’t matter what you’re doing, get comfortable with it.


Uvtha- t1_j45kqso wrote

That seems more like going easy on yourself rather than expecting more. I get that it's just a stupid aphorism I'm nit picking, but I think it just might not be a great one, hah.


melvah2 t1_j43di6t wrote

I expect people to be able to do their jobs competently. If I reduced my expectation of that I may be less disappointed, but I just wouldn't engage in health services so I don't think I'd be better off.

Expecting more from myself doesn't work when I'm exceedingly frustrated that I'm not immediately better because I'm too unwell to do the things to make me better.

I think this would work for people who shirked personal responsibility and blamed others a lot, but it's highly unhelpful and potentially damaging to those with limitations, trust issues, have gotten used to people letting them down or abandoning them and perfectionism.


ninja_of_freedom t1_j43fos7 wrote

Expect little from people, and you will rarely be disappointed


Gurzlak t1_j43wqvw wrote

The trick is understanding the difference in expectation and reliance.

Expect other people to do their job, but always rely on yourself to get yours done. It’s not your fault if someone else doesn’t do their job (unless you’re their manager whose sole purpose is to ensure your employees can and do perform their job….but that’s a different discussion).

Relying on other people to make your life better is not a good way to have a good life.

There’s significantly more nuance than what can fit here, but that’s the gist. Take care of yourself, don’t rely on and expect other people to do it for you.


Wicam t1_j45hsoq wrote

you have no idea the detrimental effect having more expectations on yourself than others has on a person


PatrickSohno t1_j45p6q8 wrote

<risk for impending burnout increased by 73%>


JaeminGlider t1_j442qo7 wrote

I'm constantly struggling to meet my own expectations and suffering burnout. This also got paired with toxic positivity, except, it's always my own responsibility to improve and do better. I spiraled into denial that other people are capable of making mistakes; if something went wrong, I ask "how do I improve the situation?" instead of recognizing "do I need to do something differently and is this actually my responsibility?"


Life will get better if you balance your expectations of others and of yourself. Do not focus on putting more burden on yourself.


kalimerkoo t1_j43rrbh wrote

I expect less from other and also less from myself.


VeGr-FXVG t1_j43tuqq wrote

Joke's on you, I already expect the world from myself!


andylowenthal t1_j441qso wrote

Lol that is the Halo map Zanzibar


ReasonablePanda3 t1_j444d22 wrote

Lol, I expect nothing of others and fail to make any progress toward my expectations of myself.


SchwiftedMetal t1_j446cfb wrote

I disagree. Blissful ignorance is not a solid solution. It’s a bandaid.


sleepysoliloquy t1_j44bvmj wrote

I'm already disappointing myself so I don't see how expecting more from myself would help


reenign3 t1_j44jgbo wrote

Jokes on you - I already expect nothing from anyone


Cranberrypied9 t1_j45enoa wrote

Expectations will only kill your happiness!!!


LaughingPelican t1_j45lxja wrote

Never expected anything from anyone and still it felt like shit until now, and probably still will


S-Markt t1_j45zoxr wrote

the moto of the anti healthcare league in the u.s.

as a standalone its nonsense. as part of a collection of motivations it might work.


TheSpiritualCo t1_j46a6ne wrote

This is something that I should live by. I’ll try to incorporate this at work.


AcidTWister t1_j46hbwo wrote

Yeah I don't know about this.

I have incredibly low expectations from others because of how I've been treated in the past, and I expect perfection from myself.

All that's gotten me is a therapist who wants to get me evaluated so I can get on meds.


BeddingtonBlvd t1_j46jyx2 wrote

High expectations and low self compassion are a formula for misery


[deleted] t1_j47xj77 wrote

Success Central paying $8 for that blue check mark lol

I too can make vague sounding platitudes that ultimately mean nothing!


happy-cig t1_j43q23l wrote

Sent this to my SO and now she won't talk to me.