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Delicious_Ad_1853 t1_j461as7 wrote

"Do the next right thing."

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Autski t1_j47ucc0 wrote

The evening we went and saw Frozen II we had found out earlier that our first pregnancy was going to be a miscarriage. All of our steps we thought we were about to take crumbled in front of us. We didn't even know what the next step was. Most of the movie was a good distraction and gave us a break from our grief of the news... Then Anna sings that song and we both were ugly crying in the theater.

While it hurt and the scars from the pain will always be there, that moment with that song gave us permission somehow to be ok with not knowing and refocusing on what the tiny, small, next right thing is. The first one was to finish the movie. The next was to go get dinner. The next was to drive home. We had to break it down to survive those next few days and eventually the next right step became clearer and easier to anticipate.

If you're out there and you're reading this and it is resonating with you, you are not alone in your pain. I know my version of it and it still hits me at times. But I know I was able to walk (maybe crawl is a better verb) through it and grew.

Grief is such an amazing tool that I both love and hate because I don't get to determine how much of it I feel or how long it will last or how often it resurfaces. All I know is that when it does come I let it run its course; it's better than trying to avoid it or stifle it.

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laffingbuddhas t1_j470xgy wrote

Do the next thing forwards ➡️

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CocklessWomen t1_j47wf7v wrote

I froze to death on a mountain doing this.

Moral: you should probably pay attention to your surroundings.

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the_other_irrevenant t1_j48ltsf wrote

Yeah, it's context-dependent.

A journey of a thousand miles generally doesn't start with a single step - it starts with planning.

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Khazahk t1_j47m0wg wrote

🎶 And with the dawn, what comes then? When it's clear, that everything will NEVER be the same again! 🎶

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ShaggyX-96 t1_j469i5p wrote

Sometimes when I zoom into that one step it seems like the image on the left.

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lil_tig OP t1_j46arne wrote

Make the steps even smaller

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TiredPanda69 t1_j47c5w0 wrote

Haha it'll look even steeper and impossible

But then remember your relative size

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albertowtf t1_j46nm2v wrote

Congrats op, this is the first post i see in here that is not filled with comments explaining why post is wrong

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Pseudoburbia t1_j47misw wrote

yeah that didn’t last long

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albertowtf t1_j47ok5a wrote

Hhaha, well, it lasted pretty long for /r/getmotivated standards :)

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Pseudoburbia t1_j47u8pr wrote

it’s irritating. i commented on a post the other day saying basically “rest, recoup, reset” and said how it was funny the post that sanctioning doing nothing was the only one met with approval here. How demotivating.

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TheCrimsnGhost t1_j48gusy wrote

not saying it's wrong. sometimes there are multiple small steps in a single step that rely on other people to make it happen. those days there is nothing you can do. try again tomorrow.

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MoltiJoe t1_j46qbxp wrote

"the most important step a person can take is always the next one"

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love-hamilton t1_j49xnjj wrote

I dropped into the comments to make sure someone had done the right thing and added this quote. 🤠

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Skipitybeebops t1_j46uu0b wrote

What if I don't know what "this" looks like

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_samsara_ t1_j46wysh wrote

Maybe "this" becomes figuring that out?

And if you don't know how to figure it out, then "this" becomes breaking that down into steps about how to figure it out. Like maybe get a book about it, or go to therapy, etc.

I guess you could think about it like zooming in on a fractal?

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Skipitybeebops t1_j46xzll wrote

Thank you

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poisonfoxxxx t1_j47v9sg wrote

This is the hardest part for me. I’m really good when given direction but had trouble realizing that for the things I care about I have to make my own battle plan and take it seriously.

Start writing down some steps on what you need to achieve your goal. Then start slowly to accomplish these things and your momentum will grow.

Stay organized and be kind to yourself! I have a tendency to think more than put those thoughts into action so I started with changing that.

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-Nicolai t1_j48cg6i wrote

And this is how I ended up in the fetal position

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BabySamurai t1_j47r1qr wrote

I really like the idea behind ACT: determining what your values in life are, and using them as a compass for the direction you take and the choices you make.

Is family important? How do you want that to look like? Is it self improvement? In which direction? Etc etc

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Batman2325 t1_j46d208 wrote

Thanks man I needed this

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vam650 t1_j48ev3x wrote

Me too!! My class is starting soon and my professors posted assignments and quizzes and exams that are due for the whole semester

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EvilChing t1_j46x7u6 wrote

Yes but this doesn't work because I still know the total size of what I need to do regardless of how small of a step I take...

Unless I'm oblivious to the rest of the steps I don't think I can take the first

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Hellaguaptor t1_j47c55a wrote

You DON’T know the total size or even what will happen to the staircase in the future. It’s like this staircase is in a pitch black room and you have a preconceived idea of how big the staircase is but it’s based on a very biased, irrational, impossible to calculate set of assumptions and so the staircase could be super short or it could be even longer than you anticipate. But there’s one option you have unless you wanna sit in a dark closet at the bottom of a staircase. Take it one step at a time.

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SugoiSwag t1_j472p22 wrote

You know there is a lot left to do but you just focus on the next one. When you focus on the whole thing you can convince yourself it isn’t possible.

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jrburkh t1_j488cu5 wrote

Ah, focus. Yeah, my brain doesn't work that way, until it super works that way - but you never know when that will be. That unpredictability results in your leaning hard into that focus, which is great and all until you realize you've neglected everything else over the excessive amount of time you've unwittingly spent working on "this". Boom overwhelmed again.

Not hating on this post, or the other helpful advice and encouragement throughout this thread. It's just not quite that simple for some of us, and it can be frustrating when people try to help by sharing the same approaches you've tried innumerable times without success. I appreciate the willingness to try to help, but sometimes it feels very reductive of the challenge in managing ADHD.

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Mysteroo t1_j47ave7 wrote

"I have found, through painful experience, that the most important step a person can take is always the next one."

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mocxed t1_j47co7x wrote

Ryan Hall (distance runner) shared the same sentiment on Peter Attias podcast. He would always get overwhelmed when he thought about how much longer he had to run to finish a race. But he knew that he could put one foot in front of the other right now. So thats all he would think about deep into any long distance race.

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mtwilson03 t1_j47cthp wrote

Got overwhelmed the first day at my job. Boss stopped me and said “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”

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mucheffort t1_j46t42c wrote

I'm always focusing on 3:30, that's when I get off work

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kisiutao t1_j479cxh wrote

Been writing down just 3 things to keep my focus on each week that I really feel have value. It's really helped my mindset and productivity. Sure you have other stuff to do but the focus on what you actually want makes me feel like I'm much more laid back and not chasing every little thing popping into my head.

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Bemanos t1_j47cjcm wrote

"Just" . Thanks, I am cured

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krashe1313 t1_j48x9zr wrote

A good friend of mine, and coworker, used to say when we were working on huge projects, and i was getting stressed, "inch by inch, and life's a cinch."

That always stuck with me.,

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kaismh t1_j47g3an wrote

Many thanks for reminding us. When I am overwhelmed I put a timer for 10 minutes and focus on one thing, I tell it is only 10 minutes of focus. Before I know it, I will have finished multiple tasks and my mood and motivation is in a better place

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Nack3r t1_j47g3ve wrote

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”

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Ok_Establishment1175 t1_j47hdo5 wrote

Say it right plz. “Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans” (John Lennon)

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ArchitectofExperienc t1_j47nx6p wrote

Seriously, for anyone with ADD/ADHD or Executive Dysfunction, this is the advice. There's something about small discreet tasks that make large projects actually feel accomplishable, and though this won't work for everyone (building a list is also a large project, for some people), it's a great thing to practice doing, though it may take a while to get good at.

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OptimisticByChoice t1_j47qxkr wrote

I’ve no idea how I’ll reach my goal of moving to Europe by September

Well. I sort of have an idea.

But I know what I’m doing today to work on it ✨

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trucorsair t1_j48jjsb wrote

I have always maintained that all jobs are in actuality a series of 5 minute jobs. I break them down into these small units of time and it helps both with making progress and a mental perspective. My mother still refers to me as the "King of 5 minute jobs"

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alootechie t1_j498vvz wrote

I use GTD system which suggests to list out all actions but just concentrate on the next action.

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ireadthingsliterally t1_j49hlga wrote

For me, the small steps are the unbearable thing. The whole task is frustratingly broken Into smaller pieces and my brain hates it.

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Ckck96 t1_j49k2kf wrote

Remember, right now is all you ever have. You’ll never live in the future or the past. You only live in the present moment, so don’t let your mind get lost dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Bring your attention fully into the present moment and deal with the current situation.

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3gnome t1_j49pvu7 wrote

Just that first step? Isn’t that what we normally get stuck on?

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strawberrylabrador t1_j46wshb wrote

I love this, thanks so much OP! Has anyone got a dark screen version for a dark mode phone background

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Trajankhan t1_j471nzi wrote

i wasn't really focusing on the image and thought that the stairs and guy on the left was a golf club

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barrel0monkeys t1_j473y8l wrote

"The most important step a man can take "

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SecretSaucePLZ t1_j47ce1q wrote

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

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CandleDapper3284 t1_j47e4ev wrote

You can’t get to the last step until you start the first step. If you know your goal you will get there your way.

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mrmyers2nd t1_j47fcpy wrote

One of the trainers at my job would tell us “How does a lion eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Stop focusing on the whole elephant.”

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stormtroopr1977 t1_j47hsrh wrote

screw that, I'm going to wait for the elevator to come back

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DarkIoTL t1_j47m5mm wrote

Make the things between on and in it everyway and constant. Look Up Between and make clean desicions. Excaused and Potenziell the best or you and other alls

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CheatCommandos t1_j47qdbv wrote

I always think of the White Stripes song "little acorns." The beginning monologue is essentially the same as this post: handle your problems one step (or in the songs case, one acorn) at a time.

Life is busy and complex, but you don't have to take it all on at once. One thing at a time.

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KanedaSyndrome t1_j47umpf wrote

Seems like modern games need to relearn this.

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TR_KingCobrah t1_j47uvzj wrote

Definitely. I really started to apply this to my life in 2019, and looking back I can't believe how much success I've achieved over these past couple years. Just focus on what you can and slowly continue to make baby steps.

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Cookiesnap t1_j47w1wx wrote

This reminds me of one of the coolest quotes that motivated me heavily when starting to study some big exam, from the manchurian candidate: "Wars are fought one Battle at a time. Battles, you win one bullet at a time". And it is true. One bullet at a time.

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Zero_Burn t1_j47w2w6 wrote

Zoom in to see the collection of thumbtacks and Lego scattered across it

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vraalapa t1_j481p0u wrote

When I was burned out a couple of years ago, I lived every day 10 seconds at a time for few months. It was hell...

My brain was so fucked that I couldn't focus on anything for more than a couple of seconds at a time, and I had a long constant panic attack from the moment I woke up to the moment I fell asleep. Every waking moment was just a loop of 10 seconds of breathing exercises, to stop my lips and fingers from going numb before passing out.

I don't know why I was reminded of that from this post though.

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[deleted] t1_j4827n4 wrote

Every day, one step at a time , when I notice I've already clima montains, have to keep going.

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Lightmareman t1_j483fxz wrote

I've recently started to say "Rome wasnt built in a day, so for now I'm just gonna focus on this column"

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Procyon4 t1_j48bjs8 wrote

My fellow people with ADHD need this even moreso, except with basically all life, not just when things get overwhelming

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MetroidJunkie t1_j48fbtd wrote

It's the little victories that give you the motivation to move forward, it becomes like a chain reaction if you allow it to.

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Sonyguyus t1_j48la41 wrote

I had a cop once tell me “How do you eat a elephant? One bite at a time”

Good advice from a cop.

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ZiyiNolanJiang t1_j48qt6q wrote

Focusing on the small steps helps get that momentum

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Mmmartini t1_j4948no wrote

Yes. Exactly. When I’m feeling overwhelmed (most of the time), and I absolutely have to keep going, I tell myself, “just do this one little thing”. And after, “just one more”. If I’m still forcing myself to keep going after the third time, I say, “fuck it. I’m going to lay down”. Works every time! 🤣

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Rbees1 t1_j495kem wrote

My father always said "it's just like eating an elephant. How do you eat a whole elephant!? One bite at a time"

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NanoMash t1_j4a94di wrote

Is there a term / name for the left case? How to describe that case?

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