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xidaer t1_j566u0j wrote

So our best is different everyday and progress is not always linear- but the only source of comparison should be ourselves the day before. We learn from others, admire or aspire to them, but in the end it’s our comparison to ourselves that matter.

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TreatThompson OP t1_j567dc0 wrote

That’s well said! I’m definitely on board with you that it’s all about comparison to ourselves

Constant comparison yourself to others is a great way to rob satisfaction—there’s always someone doing “better” than you

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True_Say08 t1_j56wq0v wrote

This post enlightens me. Expectations hurt and the unsatisfactory result that comes with it too. Then, I looked into my purpose for doing the work that I chose. For example, the job I'm doing is not high paying, doesn't give me health insurance, and puts wear and tear on my car. However, I focus on the act that it keeps me busy, allows me to see new areas in my city, be independent, listen to music/NPR radio, and driving can be nice sometimes. A little bonus is that I get to make people happy (bringing them a service).

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TreatThompson OP t1_j56xn4j wrote

Wow that’s a such a great mindset! And really well said—captures the theme of what I was trying to say

I’m glad you can find joy between the cracks

Thanks for sharing 😁

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TreatThompson OP t1_j563udr wrote

On a tangent of this note is that focusing on results will lessen the scope of what we pursue because big ambitious endeavours have a lower chance of achieving results

So we’ll limit our life when results are the focus

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Akihiro_Tanizaki t1_j594bqg wrote

We essentially condition ourselves to become dopamine release reliant when we become results driven instead of purpose driven.

Finding satisfaction in the process of self-discovery and in loyalty to the journey of self-improvement, rather than actual visible progress (or setback), sets you up for true fulfillment.

Happiness in doing vs. receiving.

But I'll admit investing in yourself is hard. You now have distorted reasonable expectations and want to rebuild the world inside of your head while being an intense addict to routinary gratification. Whether that's in your work or personal life, maintaining perspective inside a dilusion, where the world and yourself are the distractors, is like trying to find your way out of a progressively intense ADHD "fever dream" nightmare.

But having someone else tell you these words, it reminds me why I'm here in the first place. Thank you for that.

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TreatThompson OP t1_j5awuf1 wrote

What you said in the middle is perfectly said, “happiness in doing vs receiving”

I like to think of it that way too—I always tell myself to be input driven not output driven

But ur right it’s also super hard because we instinctually want validation, acceptance, etc. from others

Thanks for sharing that! 😄

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Strict-Ad85 t1_j594uoo wrote

and it's all about if you're doing the right thing for the right reasons is what all boils down to if you're just doing things because you're trying to impress or or convince yourself you have to really be authentic it doesn't matter if you talk about your plans or not it depends on if you're truly authentic person or a phony regardless if you share your ideas or not

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TreatThompson OP t1_j5awfbd wrote

That’s really well said!

The person I quoted mentioned that too—being “truthful” and “faithful” to your craft aka doing it for the right reasons

Definitely easy to lose sight of those things when we’re social people who want acceptance, validation, etc

Thanks for sharing! 😁

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W1seWarrior t1_j5au3b2 wrote

Great post, OP im grateful for these posts they really has some values we can learn from.

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TreatThompson OP t1_j5av4tt wrote

I’m glad you got something out of it! I appreciate the kind words 😁

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Desperate_Educator60 t1_j592ybt wrote

You sound like a good honest loyal person I’m with somebody right now who’s not that they were in the beginning but they let go of me when I needed the most I want I’ve been sick for a little while I’m getting better they left me when I was sick just plain left me blocked me on social media blocked me on the phone calls everything can we go to my own house without a police escort to top it off I got the situation here where I’m being GPS tracked I think by a family member of hers my wife, Plus if he’s close with one of the neighbors next-door to me I’m sure They can hearcan hear my cry)!!! I don’t know if my wife knows about this the neighbor thing but I do know that she give up on me. She said for me to take a break for us to take a break it’s been almost 6 months we haven’t had any sexual contact nearly a couple dates if that and to top it off she won’t let me even call her or anything she says once in a while that I just gotta be patient and wait I don’t get this but I can’t help but feel that she’s seeing somebody almost for sure she is, however she will not admit it I ask her several times and she gets angry this is how can you tell me that I’m confused because I go looking for her sometimes because I just wanna hear your voice I love her so much I never have loved anybody like the way I have with her she’s everything to me .Please help me Reddit family 🥹🫠🥹😇🫶🏻

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kingtitusmedethe4th t1_j595od9 wrote

Man.. as someone who was laid off 5 months ago and has actively applied for nearly 50 jobs a week since I just gotta say I see these posts all the time, and sometimes you do have to wait on the results. I have piling severe medical concerns and my last job took my health insurance 3 months before letting many of us go simply because they didn't want to pay for it.

I have been working my ass off for months and have nothing to show for it. I'm really into music and post my stuff to Soundcloud but the fleeting serotonin boost I receive fades quickly when I realize I'm hungry and have no food. I love climbing but had to cancel my membership because I can't afford it anymore. And I can't afford a bouldering pad to go outside, let alone a rope and gear.

Sorry to be a bummer. I just am really sad and want nothing more than to be able to stream games and post my music, and get better at climbing. But I can't even enjoy those things the few times I can do them because my mind is just focused on this horrible economy and whether or not my lights will be on and car impounded when I get home.

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