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Otrada t1_j57ykvy wrote

I've actually found that discussing plans of things I want to do with friends and family can be a big support. They often come with helpful tips or good insights to look into that I hadn't considered yet.

You shouldn't shut yourself off from those around you just so you can impress them.


Socal_ftw t1_j58ogpf wrote

I agree because it makes you accountable to others and that it in itself is a motivator


JohnArce t1_j59cexd wrote

As someone who rather not boasts, I was advised to share my plans with friends, to get motivated by the encouragement. As well as the accountability.
On the other hand, it is easy to fall into a pattern of just telling people about awesome plans, and collect on that initial praise without having to follow through.

Sometimes I want the motivational energy, sometimes I don't want the pressure.

As with many things in life, it's not about blindly following the one line on the motivional poster, all the time, everytime, and considering the opposite 'the wrong thing'.


Otrada t1_j59e9ss wrote

Yeah, it's important to not just flap out any plan your brain cooks up in the moment. I usually only share plans after I've had a little time to think it through. If nothing else it's just because if you've got nothing to say about it yet then that just makes for an embarrassing conversation.

And ofc there's a big difference between sharing an interest you have and boasting about what great things you will allegedly be doing.


SmitefulAres t1_j58h0gw wrote

This. Be confident in yourself and your ability to stick to your word. How else will people trust your word if you don’t exercise it?


palebluedot1988 t1_j595k59 wrote

A lot of people discuss their plans with the aim of impressing people as well. It's a hell of a lot easier to talk about doing something compared to actually doing it. I respect the latter more.


JollySky314 t1_j5h70et wrote

I agree with you. Some people have useful insight and tips, however, in the past, I was choked with obligational feelings once I got someone’s so-called ‘help’. I couldn’t say “It didn’t work”, especially to someone who really believed they were helpful.

But one day I found, I didn’t need to worry about offending someone even when something awkward happened because if the person really wanted to help me, the one didn’t get bothered even if I gave them honest feedback. When some people got angry and left me, I was sad, but I was lucky because I couldn’t live to please those people forever.

Anyway, I think it’s good to have a third person’s opinion when we want to achieve something as best as possible, for the point of view is usually limited.


oddntt t1_j59kel7 wrote

I think this advice is more for those who get caught up in the weeds. I have an insanely hard time talking about my accolades, so in order to ever apply for something new I have to just do it without getting stuck on piling all my awards or making sure my CV represents every little thing I've done. I use to do that and I was societally paralyzed for almost a decade.


Competitive-Pop6530 t1_j57pqom wrote

Why would someone write about this when they could simply let their actions show us?


Dad_Time_Jammer t1_j56ypyb wrote

If you want to tell me all about something you're planning, go ahead. If you're excited, you're more likely to follow through. Feel free to express yourself, your dreams, your ambitions, or anything you want to do to those in your life. Oftentimes you'll end up with encouragement and help!

I'm all for folks being excited and sharing that excitement. Good for you all that do that!

Talk as much as you want to, people!


Kenshkrix t1_j5746gl wrote

Interestingly enough, I remember reading a study awhile back that some people (with ADHD, I think?) are less likely to be motivated to do a thing if they talk about it a lot.

IIRC, the conclusion was that some peoples' brains can decide that doing a thing and talking about doing a thing are 'close enough'.


TiberiumRaider t1_j58a9uc wrote

That is so me. It happens all the time. I've been suspecting if I had ADHD my whole life but have never been diagnosed. This kind makes me think I do.


SmitefulAres t1_j58hcze wrote

I experience this but if you are truly interested in following through, you will. My example of this is going around telling everybody I’m going to make a truly random fake poker app because it feels like the popular ones are rigged against those most likely to buy fake chips with real money. I had the idea 2 months ago, and after some obstacles, I stopped pursuing the idea for a while.

Where as 2 1/2 years ago I said “I could do this” at a rave. I’ve been working on being able to “do it” since. Making progress. Told people I could, showing them I am, and continuing to do so


Sagwiag t1_j5ata28 wrote

>I believe it's refered to as "talk therapy bias".


aaronjer t1_j57ip0k wrote

I followed this advice with my crush and now I'm in jail. :(


keithitreal t1_j592j8x wrote

From a workplace perspective this doesn't necessarily work.

The people who talk the talk without walking the walking often do very well for themselves. And those that walk the walk without sounding off about it often get royally fucked over.


ssatyd t1_j59m5n0 wrote

And actions don't speak as loud as the talkers, by far. The only way to counter that is do the necessary actions and talk about the results, a lot. Of course, those who only talk save the time they should have spent acting (which should be the majority), so it is an uphill battle. But slowly, people will notice. As Henry Ford said: "You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do".


Elyoslayer t1_j58or39 wrote

The all bond villains need to take notes.


fruit_meat t1_j58ryx9 wrote

If I could do that then I wouldn't need motivation.


keraniu t1_j58a77l wrote

but my dad wants to know where i am for safety


AdRare283 t1_j5ag237 wrote

My dad don’t care about I do he don’t care about me


sarcasm_247 t1_j58emh2 wrote

Actions speak volumes


Dumguy1214 t1_j59hc42 wrote

I am a doer, that speaks about it in the shortest ways


dpbeets t1_j58rlww wrote

It's like this fortune cookie saying I got once, "You can't build a reputation on what you're going to do".


syiduk t1_j59io0f wrote

Look. If I talk about it, I get to skip past the hard work and get straight to receiving validation online. *taps head


PunktualPenguin t1_j59lpe4 wrote

There is actually a bit of reasoning behind this too.

TLDR: stop talking about it and do it, it’s messing up how your brain gages achievement.

People quit working when they receive a sense of accomplishment .

The shallow reward that they get from announcing their intentions is often enough of an ego boost to fulfill their sense of accomplishment,

They don’t actually put in all of the hard work to do the thing, because they have already gotten their pat on the back.

If you are one of those people that has difficulty finishing things, but loves talking about what you’re going to do, you might want to start using delayed gratification as a carrot.


TheShotgun420 t1_j58b14g wrote

The fact that I am on Reddit and today's a test speaks a lot


[deleted] t1_j58f82a wrote

Yes. I am not going to talk about talking, but I'm already talking, ain't I?😅


Neuro_88 t1_j58irqu wrote

Easier said than done.


KarlMarx693 t1_j58j8kh wrote

Can I request for someone to remake this but with a black background and white font? I would love to put this on my screensaver for phone! Thank you in advance!!


dekaNLover t1_j58sjpl wrote

Pretty sure that’s not consent.


Marcelc t1_j592s6k wrote

Yeah, alternatively, you can make a picture and post about it on reddit too


moldyhands t1_j59ruaq wrote

First: comments here are great. I laughed at a few of them.

Second: on some applications, I love this. We all know a few people that say they’re going to do things and never follow through. This is good advice for those people in certain situations. For instance, going to lose weight? Great! Just go start. Going to join a gym? Great! Tell people AFTER you’ve started going 3 times a week. That way you can link the social proudness of it to accomplishment.


cyburn16 t1_j59zl2i wrote

Think it aims to those on social media bragging about "wanting" to do stuff.


Nice-Block t1_j58kmk8 wrote

the best quote you will see today


Smirkydarkdude t1_j58spu0 wrote

First I have to tell everybody that this is what I'm going to do. Then I'm totally going to do this. And let me tell you how...


musicalbasics t1_j58uern wrote

I agree with this so much. Whenever someone asks me my plans, I tell them, "I have so many huge plans, but I can't talk about any of them."

The reason why this is bad is because you start getting attached to the outcome. When you tell your plans to someone you are materializing a version of the outcome that may or may not happen - which leads to 2 bad outcomes:

  1. You place unnecessary pressure on the idea or plan because whereas before a myriad of outcomes were possible, now only a few are. This prevents the idea or plan from growing naturally.
  2. You give yourself unnecessary dopamine - the process of materializing something is a chemically-desirable activity for the brain, which is why people love talking and being heard. The problem is that now you've increased the dopamine threshold for your plan, meaning that when it comes to doing the hard work, you'll be less motivated to follow through.

Lance-Harper t1_j59a066 wrote

Unless you’re at work where it’s required of you to inform others or if you want someone’s opinion on what you’re doing how you’re doing it or bond with someone.

This advice strong line Wolf and has lots of limitations.


Zenshinn t1_j59hew6 wrote

Also if you're doing drugs, just stop it.


Ilookbetterthanyou t1_j59ipzk wrote

Unless you have any psychological condition that leads you to manic or delusional states, then absolutely talk about what you want to do with friends so you can test if it's reasonable or not.


La_Digue_Seychelles t1_j59rsk3 wrote

thats almost like " actions speak louder than words" just with more words to look more intelligent. Just to let you in on a secret.... YOU DONT!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Dienutte t1_j59yfmh wrote

Please don’t take this advise bc talking about it is extremely helpful and the answers you get from the people Aral und u are important lessons for u to learn

But don’t JUST talk about things u wanna do At some point u have talked enough and it’s time to do things


NumberVsAmount t1_j5a1p31 wrote

“Don’t talk about it, be about it.”


BUCKYHILL t1_j5ay7vm wrote

What your doing is far more important


556Armalite t1_j5bbvv6 wrote

I don’t tell people what I’m up too. I have the confidence in myself to work towards the goal and achieve it on my own. I don’t need other people to hold me accountable. I hold myself to account. Once I’ve accomplished the goal, I still do not tell people what I’ve accomplished. Instead they see my accomplishment and say, wow I didn’t know that’s what you were doing. I find people tell me what they want to do as a way to boost their own esteem, which is fine and I encourage and support them but I don’t need outside affirmations. I’d rather shock and awe the people with my accomplishment.


BeddingtonBlvd t1_j58ki2n wrote

Nah, you gotta toot your own horn. Lots of peeps will take credit for your hard work


morosis1982 t1_j582ty0 wrote

Telegraphing intentions to those around you is considerate, because it may interfere with others and then you have the chance to work on a compromise.

Also telling your friends you'll do something can keep you honest as now you've let it out of your head there's additional pressure to follow through. Even better, get a friend involved and become partners in whatever you're trying to achieve so you both benefit from keeping the other person on track.


rainmace t1_j58crgg wrote

It’s been proven that talking about goals helps you accomplish them more


universalrifle t1_j596oax wrote

The secret is sharing your goals and plans with everyone around you and anyone you meet cause someone can help and we should all be willing to help others


Dimosa t1_j59nzc1 wrote

This is very bad advice for people who are struggling.


MoonKnightSan t1_j59nzet wrote

What’s the logic behind this?


Poseidon-GMK t1_j58krs3 wrote

My wife, friends and I all say:

"Don't talk about it, be about it"