Submitted by EERMA t3_10nk7ma in GetMotivated

Regardless of our past experiences, we all have the ability to live in the present. With time, effort and practice, we can make the most of each day to live our best lives.

These practices help us leave the past behind and live in the present:

Accept the past. Events have already happened. We can’t undo them. We can’t wish them away – that’s just physics! Now is the best time to acknowledge them, learn whatever can be learned from them and apply that learning to the present.

Recognize that your past doesn’t need to define you. Thinking that the future will automatically be the same as the past is a common limiting belief which we can challenge. Situations themselves do not define us – how we choose to respond to them does.

Let go. Sometimes easier said than done but entirely do-able. I guide most of my clients through a ‘letting go’ process which they can use whenever they wish thereafter.

Take a look at your present life. Taking stock of your health, family, relationships, home, personal development, career, leisure etc (in terms of whatever these things mean to you) provides a starting point.

Create the life you want. For each of these areas, decide how you would prefer them to be.

Immerse yourself in each moment. You’ve probably experienced the frustration and irritation of being involved in one activity while you’re actually thinking about something else. Develop the habit of asking yourself what is the most valuable thing you could be doing right now to progress towards one of your visions for the future.

Check in with your emotions. Reflect on how you feel. Are you energized? Is your mood melancholy? How do you feel about what you’re doing right now? Explore what you are learning from your reflections.

When you live in the present, doing what is most valuable to you, reflecting and learning, you will be on your way to living your best life.

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10000thmaniac t1_j6a70ho wrote

I'm going through a divorce, I moved across the country, my mother is nearing the end of a terminal illness, and I'm starting a new job. All at age 51. It is very scary to think about creating a life I want when the very recent past was so much simpler than this. A year and a half ago, none of this was happening. I try to stay in the present moment but the present moment is so painful.

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EERMA OP t1_j6a90zb wrote

I'm so sorry things are so hard for you at the moment: irrespective of how strong or well-balanced anyone is - with this to get through, anyone would need so much more support than a social media quick read.

I really do hope you find the support you need so you don't have to get through this all on your own.

Rooting for you,

Kevin.

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RooDrools t1_j6bz5pg wrote

i’m praying for your well being! 🙏stay strong!

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imasensation t1_j6d80uz wrote

What sucks for my situation is I don’t necessarily want to pursue the life everybody thinks is the way. My view of happiness and a good life is entirely different than what most people want. Most people would not consider what I want out of life to “be my best life”. This is where I struggle to define goals. I can’t stand that “success” is an opinion and most people don’t share my view on it

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EERMA OP t1_j6dic5y wrote

'Success' is you living your life, your way: applying your signature strengths to create meaning for you, value for others and legacy for the future.

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Whatever this means for any individual is down to them. Conflicts between what this means for a person and what others (typically parents) want / demand of them of ten lead to long term conflicts which manifest themselves in issues rooted in low life satisfaction or low self confidence, or anxiety, or anger (especially in men) or depression or a mixture of these things. I see this pattern quite often in my clients.

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imasensation t1_j6dimxm wrote

I’d say you have a good grasp. I share the situation you describe and it’s led to depression and lack of wanting to participate in society at even the most basic levels

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EERMA OP t1_j6dxor1 wrote

That's a tough situation for anyone and I'm sorry you are having to live with it.

With effort, support - and the inevitable setbacks along the way - it is realistic to expect to turn this vicious cycle around in to a virtuous cycle of living a fulfilling life. Ignore those who will tell you it is easy. Listen to those who will tell you it is worth it.

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Best.

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imasensation t1_j6ee9kz wrote

Thanks for your kind words. And lending your time. I try to be there for as many people as I can. It’s one thing that motivates me and helps me see my life isn’t as bad as some others. Sometimes helping others helps me learn valuable skills

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