This sounds like the kind of thing you'd hear at an MLM meeting.

Rule to follow playing blackjack: Never split tens (Don't turn a good hand into a bad hand). Better show this to some degenerate gamblers!

When I was 12, I literally wrote in my journal that I was afraid of progress because I "didn't want what good life I had to get ruined on the way".

Idk why I was so self aware... I need that kid back in my life.

[removed]

I literally cannot stop farting. Please call a 911.

You’re right. Im leaving my wife for the hot secretary at work. Thank you!

You never know what's on the other side, but we owe it to ourselves to see!

WTF does that even mean?

I prefer the opposite advice. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.