Same here. The other term for this awareness is called 'The Human Condition', which I see as the following conditions

(a) Knowing you are going to die(b) Knowing that life is random and meaningless

Therefore, as you rightly say, the only real meaning in life is the one you personally ascribe to it. I am 57, I know too much, acheived too little, and fully recognise that when I die, I will be like an ice cube melting back into the ocean of nothing-ness, for are we not just temporary cubes of sentiences for a short brief period?

I hope you can find something personally satisfying to make you want to get out of bed every day, maybe consider altruism as a direction, assuming you don't already do things for the sheer kindness and pleasure already.

Study quantum physics to truly appreciate how smart we have become but how trivial we are in the grand scheme of things! :D