Is Adventure Deficit Disorder Inevitable? Do we have to go from dreamers to realists? [Discussion]

Submitted by TreatThompson t3_10ke9am in GetMotivated

As kids, we get sold hard on the world. We build fantasies, develop ambitions, and form dreams. We grow up thinking life is spent building a bridge to reach them all.

But when we get older, we start limiting what's possible.

Tim Ferriss says we get “Adventure Deficit Disorder.”

The first reason I think of for this is that “life just gets in the way.” We get responsibilities and don’t have the time to build those bridges.

But I think that reason is a spectrum. For some, it’s absolutely true, and for others it’s a cop-out excuse not to feel guilty about lack of effort.

I also think after school the messaging we hear stops being “you can do anything you want” and starts being “get to work.”

In my life I feel like my dreams are still just as possible, it’s just a matter of making more sacrifices to free up the possibility of them.

The adventurer/dreamer mindset has to be intentionally fostered now, because the way my life is now might not let that childhood mindset flow on it’s own.

Curious about others thoughts on this.

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This post was from my newsletter

I share ideas from great thinkers so we can stand on the shoulders of giants, instead of figuring life out alone

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Comments

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AllThePrettyHouses t1_j5q5rnz wrote

Only when someone else's life rests in your hands - parenthood, fellow soldier, climbing partner on the other end of your rope, eldercare, etc. - does adventure become real. It's the ultimate commitment with the highest stakes. Otherwise, it's a literary platitude.

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TreatThompson OP t1_j5q8zyb wrote

Hmm wow that is food for thought—definitely is challenging my brain with how I see things

Reminds me of something I recently read that said real life is about altruism

Thanks for sharing this 😄

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Kevin_Yuu t1_j5q7cdq wrote

As a kid, you maintain a sense of bewilderment for the world and what you can do simply because you don't know what limits there are. Once you become an adult you become burdened by the weight of responsibility and expectations and that bewilderment becomes dulled. I do think it can inevitable that we limit what's possible but we also legitimately have less time and resources to do the things we want as an adult than we do as a child. You can have a lot of free time (at least, for those who are fortunate) to think, dream, and enjoy youth.

I'm 27. I bought a drawing pad 2 years ago and practiced digital art for about a year before I lost interest/got caught up in other things. I really enjoyed it, and still draw on occasion, but I have to study for a professional engineering exam and plan out a trip to Japan this year. I work solely for the purpose of making a stable income and spend my spare time doing things I actually am more passionate about- most of the reason for this is because making money doing things I love (I.E. Art, Games, Music, Etc.) would be extremely risky and would take an insane amount of time and effort to match the income from a career job in engineering. It's possible to quit your job and pursue your real passions, there's people everyday who do it. But how many of those people actually succeed? How many of those people are actually more satisfied than if they just kept their hobbies as hobbies? I'm not sure. And fear of uncertainty is certainly a powerful factor in preventing me and probably most others from making that choice. Do we have to go from dreamers to realist? No, but reality is accepting that you don't want to take a big risk simply due to uncertainty.

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TreatThompson OP t1_j5q9rxl wrote

Wow that is really well said, I think I agree with everything

I’m in a similar situation as you. I work full time as an accountant and am in the CPA professional education program working to get the designation, and on the side do writing and also bought a drawing pad to learn art and animation

Animation gets fully ignored during a CPA module and writing gets a back seat

So I think you hit it in the head—I think it comes down to how much are you willing to risk in adulthood. I could drop the CPA aspirations and that would immediately give me so much free time to write and learn animation, but I would give up significant salary upside

Thanks for sharing that 😁 glad to read thoughts I can relate to

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EricMBordner t1_j5rl06o wrote

You can also pursue the CPA designation for a year (it is a hard test), and alter the outcome of all your future jobs, particularly as you age. That extra income can result in writing/drawing seminars, money in the bank, working part time and getting paid a higher hourly rate so you can work on that book and draw that painting, you also will be able to tutor and teach others which is a great career path change as you age. The idea that you won’t draw and write if you make a living doing something else, is just not true. It just may be a slower process

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EricMBordner t1_j5rk1ap wrote

Honestly, I had a ton of adventures in my teens and twenties. Traveled, jumped careers, competed in sports, chased any dream, met women, and all kinds of people.

It was cool but it’s not that cool. Now I want to provide a better end for my mom and any loved ones I meet and care about. That’s the adventure.

My father died alone, burnt so many bridges. It takes real effort to maintain solid and real relationships. My mom won’t die alone by any choice I have, she will die being provided for.

I don’t even and won’t remember all the beaches I’ve walked on, slept on and drank on. I will remember the people I really care about and they will remember me

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StarsForSale t1_j5rzl1g wrote

Sorry, but there is no realism in “psychology”. Only in arts. So, you have only one choice, to stay an optimist :)

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