Submitted by Anthony_Delafino t3_10mkazc in GetMotivated

I was made aware that I have an obscene amount of vacation time banked, so I am taking February off. I have had a pretty traumatic and hectic few years, and my performance at work and home has been hit by it, so I am wanting to take this time to kinda reset and bring myself to a better place.

I am insanely, ridiculously lazy, though, and afraid that I am going to end up wasting my break by smoking and playing games, which is all I do now. I have major motivation and ambition issues, in that I have none of either. I do not have anything to credit for myself, which is severely weighing on me.

I have 3 projects that I want to work on: 1 with a friend, 1 longterm project, and 1 pipe-dream. I also have a few things I want to do for self-improvement, like exercising and being generally more active.

What can I do to help make sure I do these things instead of succumbing to doing nothing? Are there any things I should be doing with my time, instead? I have 4 weeks off, and cannot end them feeling like I wasted them. Any help, ideas, or suggestions? Thanks



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[deleted] t1_j63jz9d wrote



Anthony_Delafino OP t1_j63knz7 wrote

It truly is. And I cannot seem to stop despite knowing its the main issue. It's maddening


Bralbany t1_j63o2yq wrote

Maybe instead of projects, go travel for a while. It's easier to be active in a new place while you're exploring. It can be done inexpensively by driving and staying in hostels or similar places.


LEJ5512 t1_j65mmu5 wrote

I've got a friend who used to go on vacations with no plan besides "keep driving that way until we reach the water, then turn around". They'd go all the way from the Midwest to, say, Oregon, or Louisiana, or wherever, visiting all kinds of places along the way.


TeacupExtrovert t1_j63jk8o wrote

This is the perfect opportunity to create new habits. Once they're set you only have to transition them into the working week. It's so hard to get started but you may find next month's boredom is exactly what you need! I'd schedule it like a work day but you'd be working for yourself. Stop for lunch and at dinner. Veg the rest of the night.


Anthony_Delafino OP t1_j63l3j0 wrote

I downloaded a few of those habit-tracker apps, but it requires developing a habit of using them to be effective lol I know that I want to develop these habits and skills, but I just seem to continuously fall short in enacting the plan


TeacupExtrovert t1_j63lz1j wrote

I understand. I generally don't change things until my crappy habits have me in crisis mode. It took years of trial and error to get my shit together. Good luck and enjoy your break!


Anthony_Delafino OP t1_j63nsyn wrote

I think I may be in that crisis mode. I feel like "this is it", and I feel like that added pressure is making me even more crisis averting, which means more laziness. I could also be self-fulfilling this by making it into such a huge, do-or-die thing. I hate my mind


Makingbuds t1_j6ae8v4 wrote

I found the book, "Atomic Habits" to be very good at shifting how I thought about habits and scheduled my day and life around them. it was very good imo.


cookMEaPOPtart t1_j63g7mh wrote

Set tiny goals, if you have projects you want to work on, just tell yourself you’ll only do X amount, you might find you do more than you thought.

For example, exercise, if you don’t want to 30 min, do 5, you may keep going once you get started but you dont have to. for me getting started is the hardest. But if you only do 5 minutes you hit your goal and you shouldn’t feel bad. Keep doing that everyday until you want to increase to 10+ or however long.


Anthony_Delafino OP t1_j63hxtw wrote

The getting started it definitely the hardest part. Especially for the projects, since not only to I lack the motivation to start, but then I even doubt the quality or merit of the project in the first place and dishearten myself from starting.


epipin t1_j650ueb wrote

I find it useful to include some project planning sessions before starting something. Like, plan to spend 10 minutes making a spreadsheet with steps you’ll need to do, things you might need to get together, that sort of thing. That’ll help you think through your project and help you with some of the design and implementation of it. And it’ll help you break it down into small steps, which always helps to make it seem less overwhelming. A couple of days spending 10-15 mins a day on planning and you already made a great start. So the next action is to start with the first “real” step you figured out. Maybe that’s ordering supplies. Great, do that and you’ve made some progress.


TheWildcatGrad t1_j64o2xj wrote

I have had a very similar experience with constantly questioning the quality of my work. What I found helpful was if the project is something I really want to do, then I tell myself any mistakes are part of the learning process.

For example I'm writing my thesis. It can be really discouraging when after writing a paragraph on research results I notice that I made a mistake in analyzing my data. I've struggled with feeling like I've wasted my time since I have to redo the data analysis and rewrite the paragraph. However telling myself I was always going to make this mistake, and I must be learning since now I can see the mistake has helped me stay more motivated.


DeadlyEssence01 t1_j64wq4p wrote

I like to remind myself that the stepping stones to good quality involve bad quality. You have to step on the stones of bad quality allowing them to take you further if you ever want to get to good quality.

And that anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.

So start by doing it poorly so you can get to the point where you do it well.

Best of luck!


ialsohaveanopinion t1_j65k9f2 wrote

Go travel. Pick a destination and go. Walk, hike, tramp, take a train or a bus, a boat if you have to, but go. It widens your horizon.


jraps26 t1_j63fsef wrote

you can create a schedule for each day, break it down by hour and include your down time and sleep time. Your day can include gaming and smoking at the end. Use alarms and reminders on your phone to keep you in track.


Anthony_Delafino OP t1_j63hrp8 wrote

Scheduling seems like it will be the biggest tool I can use, and I hadn't thought of the alarms, so thats really helpful. Thank you


Forsaken-Piccolo-29 t1_j63jbyo wrote

That's sad worrying about wasting time. News Flash working is essentially the same. Cant take it with you so the four weeks should be used to find a path where instead of four weeks you have all the time you need to enjoy life while being able to still pay bills.


Anthony_Delafino OP t1_j63kuo2 wrote

I mean, thats exactly what I am asking for help in achieving. I am wanting to make this time mean something and be enjoyable instead of doing nothing like I normally do


Ortus14 t1_j66ewl1 wrote

Throw away all of your pot and destroy/give away all of your gaming systems and games.


WtfDoICallMyself23 t1_j6d4c7k wrote

Maybe there’s some depression you’re dealing with. A lot of this is characteristic of ADHD, just a thought not saying you have it and it can be over diagnosed. With that being said, I am in that same struggle in varying degrees with myself alllll the time. I set plans that I have to show up for - so things like going to the gym- I go with a friend that I don’t want to let down. Orange theory charges you if you don’t show up. Book tickets to an event and just get it without thinking about your schedule. Once it’s on the calendar it tends to happen. Sometimes a vitamin B12 shot gives me that extra boost when I’m in a slump. Leave your smoke at a trusted friends house and be just uncomfortable with knowing it’s not at your fingertips.


cozmo1138 t1_j63rvpp wrote

If it were me, I would time block just like I do at work. Set some days to get done the things you want, like hang out with friends, go somewhere or take a road trip, do some things around the house or apartment, and then some days to just fuck off at home and play video games all day. And maybe some days that you leave open to allow some spontaneity.


Earlenes_mom t1_j65t269 wrote

Read the book “Atomic Habits.” It talks about creating systems for change rather than working toward goals. Also, instead of setting goals, considering the kind of person you want to be, and working from there. Example: if I want to become fit, I’ll create a system of little steps instead of focusing on one goal.

Good luck, my friend!


LEJ5512 t1_j65t9k5 wrote

Look for an AMA that was posted not long after yours here in GetMotivated (I can't cross-post a link) from a Buddhist monk. He talks about how to form good habits, among other things.


Graybolini t1_j65znkc wrote

I'm in the same boat, I've had too many extended vacations at home where I start with big goals and end up accomplishing very little.

I will say exercise is important for anyone. It's hard to start but if you can get into a routine of working out a set number of days a week it gets easier over time. Like a habit after a certain point. Also I tend to feel better physically and emotionally when I'm exercising somewhat regularly.

As far as accomplishing goals idk man I'm a bad procrastinator so I'll keep pushing things off until my vacation is over. I guess its best to write a list of what you would realistically like to accomplish during your break. And start on something the first day or two of vacation, unless you have travel plans or something.


BlueSafeJessie t1_j66iqny wrote

Book a trip somewhere.

Doesn't even have to be nice, just a change of scenery.

Make lists and a timeline of everything to accomplish during your vacation.

Exercise. Make that the first thing you do on the first day off. Just go for a walk someplace. Or run.


Edit. I just noted your location.

Get. The fuck. Out. Of. Reno.

Maybe go snowboarding.


Anthony_Delafino OP t1_j66m0b2 wrote

Ah, I see you know the city's motto.

But, yes. I am hoping for a weekend trip down to the bay to see some friends, but money. Hopefully I will be able to get somewhere, but I am trying not to count on it so I don't disappoint myself. I am definitely going to be doing morning walks, though, thats for sure.


WtfDoICallMyself23 t1_j6d4yo8 wrote

Stay at a place where they have a mini kitchen so you can make your own food and save money. Go hiking and take sandwiches.


WtfDoICallMyself23 t1_j6d5739 wrote

You should keep the feed updated and tell us what you’re doing each day. You have accountability and we have a vicarious vacation. Everyone wins 🎉


Anthony_Delafino OP t1_j6dif3n wrote

Aww thank you for all of that. I really appreciate all you said.

I have already started really doing some deep dives on a project I've been wanting to work on, and have felt really accomplished, so I'm going to ride that high and keep it going. Today marks the start of my vacation, so I am hoping more will develop from here