bravopapa99 t1_j7d5jnw wrote on February 5, 2023 at 10:34 PM

Fucking A dude. I need that myself. I've let myself go too far the wrong side of comfortable. Keep it up. I will think of you tomorrow as I try to begin my redemption again.

RedditUser000aaa OP t1_j7e7mij wrote on February 6, 2023 at 3:27 AM

The beginning is the worst as the body is hurting and the mind just tells you to get back into the comfort zone.

At first I started walking for half an hour each day and work myself up from there, slowly.

You can redeem yourself for as long as you live. Allow yourself to fail and at the start keep the workload light and experiment with what your body can and can't do.

It doesn't matter how much you do or how often you do, all that matters is that you do.

Don't be too harsh on yourself either, it took me 17 years to even begin this path, if we count from the moment where I started facing hardships in my life to the point I became mentally unfit.

bravopapa99 t1_j7hnrxm wrote on February 6, 2023 at 9:33 PM

I better get a f* move on though, I've had cancer twice since 2020, it feels like it's got me in its crosshairs. In March 2020 I had 50cm of my ass removed (bowel cancer, no colon left at all, which as a software developer makes me laugh at the irony of not having a colon) and then it came back and last Sep (2022) I had 70% of my liver cut out as there was a 5cm, tumour in it, lucky for me it was in the lobe and they took the fecking lot out. Lucky to not be shitting in a bag, I told the surgeon not to bother waking me up if that's what they were gong to do, I meant it as well.

My biggest problem is I am always harsh on myself. All my life I have always set myself hhuge goals because then I know I can fail and tell myself it wasn't doable anyway. I am mentally mental I think. I often wonder if I'd pass 'a normal' test.

Thanks u/RedditUser000aaa, strangers can sometimes give each other some hope when our closest ones try but annoy us!

RedditUser000aaa OP t1_j7j34im wrote on February 7, 2023 at 3:44 AM

Man, cancer is the absolute worst. In the past I was overly critical and self-concious about myself all the time. Even worse I felt that because the world was being harsh on me that I felt entitled to relationships and wealth, while being jealous of others on facebook.

You can imagine how well trying to date with depression went, never again. I thought a girlfriend would be an instant fix for my issues.

Mental issues are extremely hard to tackle on, it's doable but annoying to try and find the source. The biggest source for my issues was the constant insecurity in finances, but not the only one, otherwise I would have started this path the moment my financial situation became okay.

My advice for you is to set a goal you cannot absolutely fail and see if you can slowly work yourself up from there. Even 10 minutes of walking outside would be a huge victory.

As for the colon thing, yeah whose bright idea was it to name a symbol after part of the digestive tract?

And lastly, this is the one thing I've discovered about myself:

I am the master of my body and the mind, they respond to my will and my command!