I have done a lot of theology study searching for commonalities in the major religions, but I think there are other ways to like find and internalize this truth (meditation helps some people, time in nature others, psilocybin too for some).

I’ll share a dream though and maybe just ponder it a bit.

From the age of 19-25, I was dead set on not having kids. I was terrified that climate change would intensify in my life (it probably will) and that I may bear witness to supply chain collapse, war, famine, some really scary stuff. Even after I got married and created a beautiful life in a beautiful place, this fear plagued me.

One night, I had a dream. I was in my favorite part of the forest and as I laid in the moss to watch the trees, I was devoured whole.

I sank deeper and deeper past the roots of the trees into some utter darkness where I was presented with two doors.

Both doors contained imagery of my beautiful forest but one showed the forest burning, the other at the height of summer and the monsoons - filled with life, bursting at the seams.

As I approached each door, I reached out to touch the door. The door with fire contained immense human suffering. I saw flashes of war, murder, ra*e, death, wildfire, floods, and utter destruction. The other door when I touched it showed me birth, flowers blooming in spring, children laughing, family events, community, love, and love, and love.

I was then pulled back from the doors and a booming voice came down that said “you have a choice”

And then I woke up.

So the tl;dr is despair and fear and gratitude and joy are part of the duality of life. All are necessary, but we get to choose where we live.

Zen master Thich Nhat Hahn has a book where he talks about trying to save thousands of lives during the Vietnam War and he credits his ability to think clearly and face those difficult situations with courage - to being able to calm himself, practice gratitude and mindfulness for the opportunity - as difficult as it may be - given to him by the hardship.

The doors are always there for us to choose. The only choice we have is which choice we make.

And for those curious, I changed my mind on kids. 💕