My path was not unlike yours… i goofed off and partied for years (many as a bartender) not really accomplishing much. Got a 2-year diploma that i had little interest in and I noticed my party pals were getting younger and my school peers had finished school (some of them 8 years of it) and having families… I spiralled into a dark and dangerous place. I did very little at all and felt like I was not accomplishing anything and that wore on me day after day, i felt I was at rock bottom.

I knew I liked being outside and wanted something that would be somewhat physical work to get me moving. I got a job at a large tree care company… very physical outside work. A lot of the folks i worked with were seasonal and didn’t give a shit, some of these folks were alcoholics / drug addicts which scared the shit out of me. Looking good to management took little effort because many of my co-workers were unable / unwilling show initiative or to think independently… this built my confidence and got me really thinking about the future.

After 2 years I knew I didn’t want to do this forever and I started taking college classes part time. I found a major that i loved and entered a university program full time after 4 years at the tree company. I was 30 then and I haven’t looked back.

Take aways: you have to change… not just want to change but actually change. It took me years of building good habits (and making mistakes), a little at a time, every day.

Its ok if you don’t know what you want, as long as you know what you don’t want. Try new things, give them a chance, try something else if its not for you.

My path may not be your path, but your path will take time and patience to get to a place that makes you feel really good about yourself, just like mine did. As you travel down this path, it may be hard to see in the beginning, but as time passes it gets clearer and other paths present themselves to you.