There's a concept that floats around called the have-to/want-to. The premise is that for a majority of people, they will have to do both of those things. If you do what you want to when you're young, you'll end up doing what you have to when you're old, and vice versa. Sounds to me like you've spent a fair bit of your life doing what you want to.

You have to get a job, any job. If you hate it, stick with it while you search for something hopefully better.

If you find something you enjoy well enough great, but you need to start being self sufficient.