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danteelite t1_j909wj1 wrote

When I used to teach I would say “you didn’t fail, you just haven’t succeeded yet.”

Failure is a big word, like “hate”.. it’s easy to throw around but it can carry serious weight for some people. So I like to acknowledge the fact that we’re still learning and like the mythbusters said “Failure is always an option.” But as long as you keep trying, you’ll succeed eventually. Either you succeed at your goal or you learn something.

So whenever I fail at something I just call it a “learning opportunity” and keep going, because I didn’t fail… I just haven’t succeeded yet.

Life is full of learning opportunities, and it’s how we react to them that determines how and how much we grow! Messing up and failing a little doesn’t mean you suck… it means you were brave enough to try something to begin with! When I see a chubby person at the gym I don’t think “Haha.. FAT! Why are they here?!” even though I know what’s what they’re imagining people thinking.. I choose to think of the self discipline and courage to change and better themselves and I have respect for that person. I don’t laugh when I see a teenager falling down wearing dorky pads at the skatepark… I applaud their determination to learn and take care of their body. “Bad” art is just a stepping stone to becoming an amazing artist! Everyone starts somewhere and everyone hits speedbumps. We all fail before we succeed.

Trying takes effort and courage, remember that. Failures are opportunities to learn and grow, so when it inevitably happens, take a moment to understand why it happened and do better next time with new information. Don’t be ashamed of growing and getting better, because that’s how life works. We all stumble before we walk. No one was born an artist or athlete, they got there by failing again and again until they succeeded.

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KristiiNicole t1_j91c660 wrote

As someone in a not so great place that has a habit of giving up way too easily, and while I’ve heard this advice (or at least similar to it) many times before, for some reason the particular way you wrote this actually really sunk in for me and has given me a lot to chew on, thank you.

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countess_snow t1_j91huzr wrote

When you used to teach, did you give out failing grades?

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danteelite t1_j92n01t wrote

I wasn’t that kind of teacher.. lol

I taught self defense, firearms basics and security consulting. It was very important to not let my students give up, because quitting your shooting classes because you can’t keep up, but still keeping your firearm is a scary thought. Same with self defense, I need people to know that ANYONE can keep themselves and their loved ones safe, and it doesn’t require a gun or ninja skills. Stuff like self awareness, common sense, and a little bit of basic planning goes a very long way. 90% of dangerous situations can be avoided before they ever happen.

You’d be surprised how many people feel like a failure when it comes to protecting themselves or their families and how devastating it is for them. They feel like crappy mothers, weak “un-manly” men, or an unworthy partner. I had to very often explain to people that it isn’t their job to be a soldier… basic knowledge and a few simple skills can do 90% of the work. Tap your collar bone or back of your hand lightly with the edge of your cellphone, try it.. hurts, doesn’t it? Surprisingly bad for such a light tap. It doesn’t take much to protect yourself if you know how.

50% of my job was instructing students, preparing classes and teaching, and the other 50% was teaching people to believe in themselves, reassuring people and sometimes answering “stupid questions” because other people who work in the firearms/defense industry are condescending jerks who treat people like morons for not knowing things that they consider “basic”…

So short answer, No. I never failed anyone, I tried to make sure everyone got what they needed from my class, whether it was firearms basics to get their carry license, self defense tactics or just someone to talk to about all of the questions they’ve been too afraid to ask about guns, defense, emergency situations or whatever else.

As a rule, I always believe in people. I know people are capable of so much more than they think they are. It shouldn’t take an emergency or life or death situation for you to recognize how incredible you are! Some people just look in the mirror with one eye closed and need to see themselves through someone else’s eyes who can see how much potential they have and how awesome they are. I don’t know you, but I know you’re incredible too.. I know you’re capable of really amazing things of you want to. Olympic athletes, geniuses and mothers who lift cars off their children aren’t another species… we’re all human. You’re capable of that too! That’s the mindset I keep when I teach or help people.

Hope that helps clarify, sorry if it was misleading or something… I have too much respect for actual academic teachers to try to compare myself to them!

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Go88milesperhour t1_j9846lu wrote

I don’t know if anyone has ever told you this but thank you for being you.

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