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MMVI-1981-MMVI t1_j9r5zrj wrote

Reply to comment by PristineIntention176 in [image] You never have to do today again by Ariledweight11

Been searching every day all my life.

Any suggestions of how you personally do this?

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PristineIntention176 t1_j9rclr5 wrote

Personally, and I'm not a therapist or anything, but for me these little tactics help. As I said before, I thank God each night for today. It makes me think about what I'm thankful for. There's always something, even just the way I smelled rain, or the daffodils on the side of the road. The more I do it, the more I remember. I'm up to 20 or more things a day now. Like how beautiful that clerks smile was. I also find one thing each night that "I get to do tomorrow". Like, "I get to wash my hair, shave my legs change my sheets - it's going to feel amazing" or, "I get to make an amazing chicken dinner", or "I get to smile and make someone's day better". Anything. Then that's the first thing I think when I wake up - today I get to... I still have bad times. Sometimes I spend days thinking that my life sucks, and I'm trapped, and I get so angry and cry for hours and days, and then I wake up one morning and think, "I am so lucky to have a nice soft bed - not sleeping on the ground. I can take a hot shower, I've never really known hunger, my body works - I have my limbs - I'm so lucky, I've been such a sissy. So many humans have it really bad. I am so lucky. I need to appreciate how lucky Iam. And that helps me watch more for the wonderful beauty that god sets in front of me each day. And he does. If you just watch. Also, I decided once that I was just going to be happy. Just gonna be happy, that's all. Every time I started to be depressed or feel sad, I just told myself, "nope, I'm going to be happy". It actually worked really well, but after 2 weeks, there was a major family trauma that set me back and ended that experiment. But it worked for a while. Worth a try. Hope some of this helps. Love

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MMVI-1981-MMVI t1_j9rczyi wrote

I find myself when I am in a low, at least once a day. Makes it difficult to stay motivated to do anything. It’s very difficult.

Thank you for making time for this thoughtful response. It’s a good reminder to think of the things I get to do not the things that I didn’t get to do. I get so stuck in the past and the future and it impedes me from living in the present. I’m attached to my past traumas difficult to move on.

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PristineIntention176 t1_j9rhebu wrote

So, I'm old. You are obviously young, since you typed all of that in like half a second. I just need to tell you that your past (and I have past issues too), are there. They're in the past, but they're there. They are not going to go away, and they are NOT going to move on. You are the only one who can decide to leave those issues behind and move on with your life. You have your whole life ahead of you. Think of all the things you can do! Please just decide to live your life, be who you are, and do all the amazing things you were meant to do.

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MMVI-1981-MMVI t1_j9rnxti wrote

I’m M42.

Yes I agree. I’ve been told this same thing by therapists, my spouse, and some friends.

I don’t know why I can’t do that. I have teenage children. An amazing partner, and a lot going for me.

Making decisions is difficult. Three years ago I left the Mormon faith. I was born into it. My entire world view has been flipped on its head. A lot to unlearn. A lot to learn.

But my decisions don’t just affect me. They affect my children and wife. I’m terrified to “live the life I was meant to live”. I don’t even know what that is or if it even exists.

Anyhow. Thank you again for your kind words.

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PristineIntention176 t1_j9rqozj wrote

You're very sweet. I have cousins raised Mormon. My mother's sister married into it. Their live's were hard in our world.

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MMVI-1981-MMVI t1_j9rrbmu wrote

It’s a very traumatic experience. But I’d do it again. I think.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to the willful ignorance; naïvety.

Be well.

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PristineIntention176 t1_j9rsovc wrote

I'm a nobody, but I think god loves everybody. I personally believe that he only wants us to appreciate the wonder and beauty that he has surrounded us with. That, and to do good wherever we can. To spread love. I wish you well in your travels. I think you already belong to God, and I hope you let his light, love, and beauty guide you. You are in my prayers.

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TakeItToFacebookDick t1_j9tobil wrote

>as I said before, I thank god each night

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