Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

whyxwhy t1_j9ua7vo wrote

✌️🙌🕊️

Also lpt don't use criminal actions to help someone. They might take it the wrong way and you'll be lucky if they understand the chaos of life and let it slide. Not everyone has a mind to withstand hard lessons sometimes it's better to just talk to someone first.

Also... Take into context mental health, fear doesn't make ADHD and depression symptoms go away.

Edit- Evidently this subs likes using crime to influence people, lol.

−3

elcroquis22 t1_j9upmqj wrote

And never forget who turned you away when you needed help.

40

[deleted] t1_j9uussi wrote

Ironically it's my cheater ex that has my back. Gave me additional trauma but I know I can rely on him? Make it make sense 😂

12

ValyrianJedi t1_j9uv54k wrote

I always have trouble figuring out how to balance this one with nepotism. I grew up with nothing and likely wouldn't be where I am if a handful of people hadn't taken me under their wings, helped me out, given me a chance etc... There has never been any way for me to repay them because they've always had more than I do and never really needed help that I could give...

Now I'm on a position where I can return the favors some, but almost exclusively by either hooking their kids up with jobs or giving them goof deals and opportunities business wise... Which means I'm either a shitty person for perpetuating the nepotism that used to drive me nuts, or I'm a shitty person for not helping the people who helped me.

15

BrightLayer9162 t1_j9ux5dy wrote

Agree! Never forget those who gave you the time of day to help you.

2

MrGlayden t1_j9uxt2z wrote

Couple of friends are currently moving into a new house that needs to be done up (lots of work eeded etc...)
So far, im the only friend of theirs who has helped them, and its been multiple occasions and theyve turned down more help due to other reasons (not doing much on it on certain days etc)

Was shocked when I found out no-one else was helping them since they have quite a big friend group of people who could have helped

4

De_Wouter t1_j9uyafq wrote

Thanks for reminding me who didn't help me in my time of need.

4

Anti-Queen_Elle t1_j9v84c3 wrote

Replying to ValyrianJedi (#1,971,950)

I'd say do a little, but don't feel. overly obligated. It's about lifting people up, but there is a point where one is appropriately "lifted up", I think.

And there are plenty more that need it too, after them.

9

vleetman1 t1_j9v9zfc wrote

No matter what I’m doing or where I am in my journey of life, I try not to forget my mom. She always helped me through any challenge I face. I may not be the person I want to be yet, but with her help I’m slowly becoming better.

3

klrjr250 t1_j9vepeu wrote

This is a good opportunity to respond to this. When I was divorcing 8 years ago all my straight friends dumped me. The only folks that truly helped and care for me were gay and lesbian. I never forgot that and I’m so appreciative of there help.

3

PoopEndeavor t1_j9vg0oc wrote

The same person that posts this will post “no is a complete sentence” and “I don’t have enough spoons today, sorry“

Which is a totally valid…what would you call that? An excuse?

Sometimes excuses are legit. I can’t really get behind this as “motivation.” What is it motivating me to do anyway? End friendships? Not help others?

9

Upst8r t1_j9vj063 wrote

What if the person who helped me the most turned out to be someone with rejection issues and takes things personally?

1

louisdeer t1_j9vlimh wrote

Never forget who you've helped out while everyone else might be too shy to request help from you.

3

throw3142 t1_j9vqbwo wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#1,971,892)

The person who understands me best these days is my ex crush who I swore I'd never think about again, go figure ... I'm now glad I chose to calm down and stay friends with her instead of blowing it all up - even though I don't think of her that way anymore, it's still good to have someone to talk to as a close friend; we know too much about each other to become completely estranged anyway

4

beanrush t1_j9w5o89 wrote

Nobody. That's who helped. Not the family, the church, the community, nobody.

2

joemc04 t1_j9w9c47 wrote

Replying to rafael-a (#1,976,482)

That’s pretty sad for you. I don’t have a lot of company I keep. Tons of bad people I’ve met, people who will let you down or purposely screw your over. But I do have a couple ride or die mothers fuckers I can call if I need them. Will show up no matter what your problem is and give you a hand. I don’t call them very often, but I know they are there. They know I’m there for them too. I would wish every good person has some friends like that.

0

la_peregrine t1_j9wb014 wrote

Replying to PoopEndeavor (#1,975,914)

Wtf has that to do with it..never forget doesn't mean always bend over backwards.

I'll never forget the library lady who bought me a cheap plane ticket so I can do a summer REU thing at a prestigious institution when I had 5 dollars in my bank account. I know that changed things for me. If she had called asking for help when my SO was in the hospital, it is unlikely I'd have been able to help. Tbh that is not when I could help other s bit when I needed even more help.

But other times? If she wanted help with figuring things out, she could always call me and I'd listen and say. Yup let me teach you this or can't right now but I can look at it tonight or this weekend and get back to you tomorrow or on Monday, if that works for you.

(Past tense because she sadly passed away)

But even going further, it doesn't have to be big spoons. It can be small ones. Today I have extra time to help a colleague. Yeah I could goof around but being aware of people who've helped me and not forgetting them means that instead I will look for a colleague who might need a bit of help.

This is what it means..sometimes use upa spoon you'd use on yourself to help someone. How many spoons and how often depends on circumstances.

3

joemc04 t1_j9wb9lh wrote

Replying to rafael-a (#1,981,025)

I wasn’t going for bragging. I guess it came out that way. You asked who? As in nobody experiences having people they can count on. They are out there. I’m not sure why you don’t have any.I guess I was hoping to encourage you to keep looking.

2

PoopEndeavor t1_j9wei9r wrote

Replying to la_peregrine (#1,981,247)

Yeah. I don't think you understood my point. I'm with you as far as be appreciative and try to return the favor to people who've helped you. My point is the last part is unnecessary because it implies you shouldn't help the people who "made excuses."

If a friend has an excuse why they can't help me today, it doesn't mean I'm gonna say eff you when they need help next time. I'll help them just as I'd help the person who helped me. There's lots of reasons someone might not be able to help you, it doesn't mean they aren't worth your consideration.

0

la_peregrine t1_j9wh0nt wrote

Replying to PoopEndeavor (#1,981,887)

No theblast part is not.unnecessary.

Yes not everyone can help every time. But there are also people who never help.

So don't forget that there are people who never help anyone. They are not worth of your help.

When I was I college, we helped each other move things. Now people moved at different times and not everyone could help everyone else. But if you never helped people move, when it was your turn to move, you got no help.

Remember those who help you (even if they help you by helping your friends so your friends can help you) and also remember those who never help.

3

Pudding_Hero t1_j9wj55v wrote

And don’t make friends with the ones who do make excuses. I learned that the hard way

2

serenwipiti t1_j9wjls9 wrote

too late, I completely dissociated during that period of my life and can no longer remember the problem, who made excuses and who actually helped me.

2

ronflair t1_j9wrwgw wrote

“Now you owe me. Big time. Because I never forget.”

2

JustGotBlackOps t1_j9wsklb wrote

What if I’m the one making excuses but they keep trying to help, love the homies

2

wontgetthejob t1_j9x27n9 wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#1,971,892)

If it helps any, no one really goes out to cheat to gleefully be cruel and hurt people's feelings. Finding a friendship somewhere in there is the healthier path than embittered negativity.

Source: a largely embittered soon to be divorced man

3

loverink t1_j9x6rg1 wrote

Replying to ValyrianJedi (#1,971,950)

The beauty of a gift is that it’s given freely, and doesn’t need to be paid back.

When you see appropriate opportunities to show your gratitude, do it! But beyond that, it’s not a debt to be paid. Pay it forward and invest in someone else the way they invested in you.

Send some folks a card or email letting them know how much they impacted you, or how you’ve modeled some of your leadership after them. There are tons of people who just want to feel appreciated, seen, and their efforts acknowledged.

2

Suck_my_fat_hairy_n t1_j9xegqw wrote

Tired of these quotes cauz I always end up that help person and mofos ditch me once they don't need ne fallback friend anymore bruh

Like I got other friends but if I was tha only one u got back then how you gonna drop me like that. Remember ur day 1s😪

1

fobijoux t1_j9xek2y wrote

I will never forget who made excuses

5

fitbeard t1_j9xi8ap wrote

Dark thought: Narcissists with a motive, people pleasers, and acts of genuine kindness suddenly look the same.

0

HelmSpicy t1_j9xqwuj wrote

Replying to elcroquis22 (#1,970,974)

Bro, this post became depressing AF based on all the responses from people who had no one to rely on when they needed it...it is really fucking sad and I'm heartbroken for everyone who has had to stand alone in their worst storms.

6

fallowre t1_j9xsvyk wrote

I'll never forget her 🙌 people like that are hard to forget anyway; their kindness just transcends time.

2

Lightningbreak35 t1_j9y7g79 wrote

That reminds me, in Oktober a friend asked me for help, and of cours, i tried to help, but becaus i was scared and didn't know how to help her(i knew her since august, so 2 months), i tried cheering her up with a comlpiment, sadly that backfired so hard, that she said she needed some distance. At the beginning of this year, she baisiclly tolled me she didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore.

So thats that.

0