So if you look at the map, and match that up to the roads numbers.

Avoid I-84. That's the worst of them. That leads to West Hartford, Farmington, Avon, that area. The Founders Bridge is the one from lower downtown Hartford to East Hartford. That means a commute in city streets. Not good. The next bridge south is the Charter Oak Bridge. This is state routes 5 and 15. This is better, if you are coming north on I-91, or from the Newington, Wethersfield, Rocky Hill, or points south area. But you can still run into a long delay at the interchange.

Better yet, follow the bridge that used Rt 3 in the southern part of Wethersfield to Glastonbury. Now you have a much better shot into East Hartford, except that once east of the CT River you are on RT2, which is often congested. But the upside is that RT2 has exits pretty much immediately adjacent to P&W entrances. But that opens up Wethersfield, Rocky Hill, and a towns nearby that as options to live in.

Now a lot of this depends on what your's, and your wife's, tolerance for commuting is. Mine is low. So keep that in mind when considering my advice. My current employment had me in an office in West Hartford while living in East Hartford. A distance of almost exactly 10 miles. Almost all of that distance on I-84. A commute that could essentially never be done in under 30 minutes. And 45 was more common. Switching to the East Hartford office for me saved me an hour + a day.

Basically, what I am saying is that the highways around Hartford suck. Make your own decisions. But just be aware of that fact. And the biggest chokepoints are the bridges across the Connecticut River. Which you can see if you look at the map.

The other alternative is to live north of Hartford. The bridge I-291 crosses is probably the easiest bridge to cross in the Hartford area around rush hour. But north of Hartford is also the airport, so you may want to consider if you can tollerate the air traffic noise. Unless you want to go fairly rural, out to say Granby.

West Hartford has a lot to recommend it. It's generally the go to housing location for young professionals who will be working in Hartford. It has more in the way of amenities than any other town nearby. But it is a really aggravating commute to East Hartford. So pick your poison. Farmington city streets have become really congested, anytime I've been up that way recently, for what it's worth.

And, as I say, if they ever do start the rebuilding of I-84 that they've been promising us for a decade or more now, then the people going from West Hartford to East Hartford and vice versa are going to see very bad go to very worse probably for very many years.

East of the river, my personal choice is Manchester. It has the broadest housing options and most amenities. But that's just my choice. And the reason I'm not there now is a family situation I won't bother you with the details of. I've heard people say that the Manchester schools aren't the best. But I can not confirm. East Hartford schools don't rank the best either. You may want to research. There are a lot of magnet schools in the area, and check out Cheney Tech as a high school, if your kids are that age.

Rocky Hill is a little further, but much less aggravating, to East Hartford than West Hartford is. And it's near Middletown, which is having something of a downtown revival.

Driving around Hartford is largely in the chokepoints. And the chokepoints are usually the bridges.