Honestly, you should probably start by finding a really good doctor or specialist for your wife that accepts your insurance, and then use that at a proximity. If it's an hour drive each way because you need to get to UConn medical center or Yale, you will be sad.

One good way to find more affluent neighborhoods is to look where Whole Foods sets up shop. West Hartford, Glastonbury, South Windsor.

There are Costco's in South Windsor, New Britain, and I think Enfield.