You need to fix that before you even think about publishing anything else. And don’t ask someone you know - it’s really difficult to tell a friend when their stuff is shit.

Normally I wouldn’t be this harsh, but the racist caricature of the black man really pissed me off, so I’m not too pressed about being nice.

Also, figure out how to have a coherent plot. My eyes are scrolling past words on autopilot. Where is your worldbuilding?? “AIDS-2” is the name of your deadly disease?! What’s with sleeping in plastic bags? Why did you mention bodies in the ocean once and never again? To be clear, I don’t want the answers. I’m just pointing out some specifics.

All the best of luck to your growth as a better writer and a less bigoted person.