Claudia-Delgado-LCSW OP t1_izh85la wrote on December 9, 2022 at 2:14 AM

Reply to comment by DangersBabygirl in I’m Online Therapist, Claudia Delgado, LCSW. I work with Women that are having an Affair - Emotional or Physical. AMA. by Claudia-Delgado-LCSW

Hi DangersBabygirl. In my experience MM that have been in a long term affair do not often leave marriage. Children are a “reason” and it’s rarely ever the only reason they are not leaving. If they do, it’s usually years down the line and it’s not a clear break. They often become used to getting the affection from 2 women and continue to want that after they leave.

Leeeshee t1_izhdhu5 wrote on December 9, 2022 at 2:55 AM

Thank you for this comment. I needed to read it.

DangersBabygirl t1_izhfpuo wrote on December 9, 2022 at 3:13 AM

Thank you for the reply! Enlightening. In this instance, there is no affection from the other side. At all. It's a roommate scenario. Not sure if that changes anything.

Claudia-Delgado-LCSW OP t1_izk9442 wrote on December 9, 2022 at 6:44 PM

Even in that scenario, which is actually very common, it usually doesn’t change outcome much in my professional experience. Usually there are many other reasons they are not leaving and often they will say things like “you deserve more/better” “if you choose to leave, I would understand” . These are often ways to manipulate someone to stay longer as they are attempting to show they care and give hope in order for things to continue as they are.

I’ve seen many situations where kids are in college, roommate situation is still the same and person doesn’t leave.

iamfierce1111 t1_j1y0ql7 wrote on December 28, 2022 at 5:54 AM

Why do you think they stay if they aren't happy? Too scared to leave and all the changes that would come?